Jean Ure

Secrets and Dreams


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my auntie told me it would leave marks. Why did you say ‘snap’?”

      “Well – you know! Like the card game? When you say ‘snap’ if you both put down the same card?”

      I thought everyone must have played Snap at one time or another. But Rachel obviously hadn’t. She was looking at me, with her brow furrowed.

      “Are you Swedish?” I said.

      If she was Swedish, then maybe that would account for it. Maybe in Sweden they didn’t play Snap. The reason I thought she might be was partly cos she looked a bit Swedish, like very pale with hair that was almost white, and partly cos of her name: Lindgren. I was quite proud of knowing that Lindgren was a Swedish name. I reckon not everyone would have done. I only knew cos a lady that used to live in our road had been called that and she came from Sweden. But the minute I asked the question I was covered in embarrassment and thought maybe I shouldn’t have. Sometimes it is considered rude to ask people where they come from. I once asked a girl at my old school where she came from, thinking she would say, like, the West Indies or somewhere, and she said she came from Essex. She was quite cross about it, though I was only trying to be friendly.

      Fortunately Rachel didn’t seem to mind. She said that she wasn’t Swedish but her granddad had been.

      “He was called Lindgren. That’s why I am.” And then she gave this shriek of laughter and cried, “Yoordgubba!” Well, that was what it sounded like. I only discovered later that it was spelt “Jordgubbe”. Rachel said it was Swedish for strawberry.

      “And toalettpapper is toilet paper!”

      I didn’t quite know what to say to that. “So do you speak Swedish?” I said.

      She giggled again. She seemed to do a lot of giggling.

      “Hey,” she said. “That’s ‘hello’. Hey!” She held out her hand. She obviously wanted me to take it even though I’d already started to unpack and had my arms full of clothes. “Say it!”

      Obediently I said, “Hey.”

      “There,” said Rachel. “Now you know as much as I do! Except for tack. That means ‘thank you’.”

      She picked up a pair of my socks that had rolled on to the floor.

      Solemnly I said, “Tack.” Little had I thought I would be in the dorm having a Swedish lesson the minute I arrived. Maybe chicken pox would prove to be a blessing in disguise? I’d made a friend already!

      “Shall we stick together?” said Rachel. She sat, cross-legged, on her bed.

      “Yes, let’s,” I said. “I’ve never been to boarding school before, have you?”

      Rachel said, “No, but I know what to expect … I’ve read the books!”

      “What, the leaflets?” I said. “The stuff they send you?”

      “No!” She gave a great swoop of laughter. “The boarding-school books.”

      “Oh! You mean, like …”

      “The Naughtiest Girl in the School, Claudine at St Clare’s—”

      This time, I was the one that giggled. “Snap again!” I said. “Me too! Only I don’t think it’s quite the same these days.”

      “That’s what my auntie says. She says they’re like really old-fashioned? But it’s still going to be fun! I’m really looking forward to it. Midnight feasts and climbing out of the dorm at night … That’s why I was looking out of the window! To see if there’s an apple tree.”

      In spite of myself, I said, “Is there?”

      “No, worse luck, but you can always make a ladder by tying pairs of tights together.”

      “Tight ropes!” I said. Quite clever, I thought. I waited for Rachel to giggle, but she just nodded, very earnestly.

      “It’s what they did in one book. Or of course you can climb down a drainpipe if you’re brave enough.”

      “Or a fire escape,” I said. “Or even a real rope, if you happen to have one.”

      I was being funny – sort of – but Rachel appeared to be taking it quite seriously. She agreed that a real rope would be best.

      “Like a clothes line, or something.”

      I gazed at her, doubtfully. Did she really think we were going to have midnight feasts and go swarming out of the window on the ends of clothes lines?

      I started to set out my photographs on top of my bedside table. I had one of Mum and Dad; one of Mum, Dad and Nat; and one of Nat with Lottie.

      “Oh, cute!” squealed Rachel.

      “I hope you mean Lottie and not Nat,” I said.

      “Which one’s Lottie?”

      “She’s the dog. Nat’s my sister.”

      “The one that gave you chicken pox?”

      I said, “Yes. She breathed on me.”

      “Yeeurgh!” Rachel gave an exaggerated shudder. “That’s gross!”

      “She is gross.” I glanced across at Rachel’s cabinet. “Don’t you have any photos?” I said.

      Rachel put a finger to her mouth, like I’d caught her out in some sort of crime. “I didn’t think.”

      “You ought to have some of your family. Your mum and dad.”

      “I haven’t got a mum,” said Rachel. “She died.”

      Omigod! It was one of those moments. I didn’t know where to put myself.

      “It’s all right,” said Rachel. “I never actually knew her.”

      She pushed her hair behind her ears. It was bright silver, very fine and wispy. Mine is like a doormat. One of those fierce brown bristly ones.

      “It was in childbirth, you see.”

      I am not very often at a loss for words, but I honestly couldn’t think what to say. I just gulped and went, “Oh.” I wondered, if she didn’t have a mum, who Rachel lived with. Whether it was her dad, or her auntie that she’d mentioned. I didn’t like to ask, though, in case it seemed like prying. You can’t be too nosy when you’ve only just met someone.

      From somewhere in the building we heard the sound of doors opening and closing, followed by girls’ voices and footsteps along the corridor.

      “That’ll be the others come back,” I said.

      We shot these glances at each other. Not exactly nervous, but maybe just a tiny bit apprehensive. We were the new girls! What were they going to make of us?

      “We will be best friends,” said Rachel, “won’t we?”

      I wasn’t sure you could become best friends just like that, but I said yes all the same. Rachel gave me this big happy smile, showing all her teeth, and I smiled back. She was a bit odd, but I did like her.

      The door suddenly flew open – no knocking, this time – and four girls came bursting in. They stopped at the sight of me and Rachel. One girl said, “Oops! Sorry. Didn’t know you’d arrived. You must be Zoe and Rachel?”

      Rachel giggled. I was beginning to think it must be some kind of nervous affliction, the way she kept doing it. The girl introduced herself as Fawn Grainger. She was obviously posh, like the way she spoke and everything, but she didn’t seem stuck-up. She seemed quite friendly. She introduced the others as Dodie Wang, Tabitha Rose and Chantelle Adebayo. They seemed quite friendly too. Such a relief! I might have guessed Nat didn’t know what she was talking about.

      Fawn said, “Tab’s sleeping up your end. We banished her, cos she snores.