come here, to let Gabrielle talk him into an escapade worthy of an adolescent. If he were smart he’d take Rowan’s advice and get on the first plane home. Tomorrow.
Soft-footed, Brant walked over to his own door and inserted the key. The door opened smoothly. He closed it behind him, and heard the smallest of creaks from the room next to his. Rowan. Getting into bed. Did she still sleep naked?
He sat down on the wicker chair, banging his fists rhythmically on his knees. What kind of an idiot was he that he’d neglected to take into account the effect Rowan had had on him from the first time he’d ever seen her, arguing with a customs officer in the Toronto airport seven years ago? He’d engineered a conversation with her that day, had touched her wrist and had seen the instant flare of awareness in her face, the primitive recognition of female to male, of mate to mate. Would he ever forget how her pulse had leaped beneath his fingertip? That all-revealing signal had engraved itself on his flesh within five minutes of meeting her, and would probably remain with him as long as he lived.
Two days later they’d fallen into bed in his condo; three weeks later they were married. A month after that he’d left for Rwanda, and the fights between them had started, fights every bit as passionate as their ardent and imperative couplings.
Another tiny creak came from the room next door. He wanted to kick the wall in, gather her in his arms, make love to her the whole night through.
But this wasn’t Myanmar or Afghanistan or Liberia. He couldn’t bash his way into the next room. Rowan wasn’t an arms smuggler or a drug dealer; she was his ex-wife.
How he hated that word! Almost as much as he hated the prospect, now almost a certainty, that he was in for one of his nights of insomnia, nights when too many of the nightmare images he usually kept at bay would crowd through his defenses, attacking him from every angle like an army of fanatic rebels.
Normally it took every bit of his strength and integrity to hold himself together during those nights; which were, fortunately, rare. Tonight he had the added, overwhelming torment of Rowan’s presence on the other side of the wall. Would he ever forget the first time they’d made love? Her entrancing mixture of shyness and boldness, her astonishing generosity, her heart-catching beauty...he could remember every detail of that afternoon, which had blended into a night equally and wondrously passionate.
Brant buried his face in his hands, his back curved like a bow, a host of memories stabbing him like arrows.
CHAPTER TWO
ROWAN lay ramrod still in her double bed. The numbers of the digital alarm clock on the night table announced that it was 2:06. If she moved at all, the springs creaked. If she tossed and turned, sooner or later her elbow or her head thumped the wall. The wall that lay between her and Brant.
Her eyes ached. Her body twitched. Her nerves were singing as loudly as the frogs. And all the while her brain seethed with the knowledge that Brant was lying less than a foot away from her, separated from her by a thin barrier of stucco and plaster.
Separated from her by too many fights, too many angry words, too many long months of worrying about him and waiting for him, all the while trying to keep her own life on track. That last departure for Colombia had been, classically, the straw to break the back of their marriage. That and the woman called Gabrielle Doucette.
She had no idea how she was going to get through the next two weeks. No idea whatsoever.
2:09. She had to get some sleep. Tomorrow was a full day, although thank goodness she’d hired a driver and wouldn’t have to negotiate roads that could be hair-raising at the best of times. Why had Brant come here? What stupidity had impelled him to seek her out just when she was beginning to hope that one day soon she might heal, that hovering somewhere on the horizon there was the possibility, however faint, of putting the past behind her and looking for a new relationship? One that would give her everything Brant had refused her.
How dare he interfere with her life, he who had damaged it so badly? How dare he?
Somewhere between two-thirty and quarter to three Rowan fell asleep as suddenly as if she’d been hit on the head. She woke sharp at 5:20; during the years she’d spent guiding tours, she’d trained herself to beat the alarm by ten minutes to give herself that space to think over the day ahead. As so often happened, everything seemed crystal clear to her now that it was morning.
She’d overreacted last night. Big time. And why not? It had been late at night. Her ex-husband had appeared totally unexpectedly and had thrown her for a loop. And again, why not? In all her thirty-one years he was the only man she’d ever fallen in love with; so she’d fallen in a major way. No holding back. No keeping part of herself for herself. She’d thrown herself into their relationship with passion, enthusiasm and a deep joy; and when, all too soon, rifts had appeared, she’d worked with all her heart to mend them. In consequence, the final and utter failure of their marriage had devastated her.
But that was a long time ago.
The only thing she’d have to beware of was touching him. The physical bond between them had never ruptured, not even in the worst of times, and when he’d wrapped his fingers around hers last night as she’d passed him the key, all the old magic had instantly exploded to life, like fireworks glittering against the blackness of sky.
He’d seduced her—literally—from the beginning. She mustn’t, for her own sake, allow him to do it again.
There were six other people in the group; she’d have lots of protection. Plus the itinerary would keep everyone busy. On which note, Rowan thought lightly, you’d better get moving. She scrambled out of bed, headed for the shower and left her room at ten to six.
Breakfast started at six on a charming open patio twined with scarlet hibiscus and the yellow trumpet-shaped flowers called Allamanda. The six other members of the group were tucking into slices of juicy papaya; Brant was nowhere to be seen. Maybe he’d decided to heed her advice and take the day off, thought Rowan; or, even better, fly back to Toronto. She beamed at everyone, inquired how they’d all slept, and heard Brant’s deep voice say from behind her, “Good morning—sorry I missed seeing all of you last night.”
Rowan said evenly, “This is Brant Curtis, from Toronto. He’s taking Rick’s place, because Rick’s ill with pneumonia.” Quickly she introduced the others to Brant, then said, “I’m sure you won’t remember everyone’s name. But you’ll soon get to know each other. Coffee, Brant?”
“Shower first, coffee second,” he said easily, “that’s been my routine for a long time.”
He was smiling at her. Often they’d showered together; and they’d both loved Viennese coffee ground fresh and sweetened with maple syrup. Willing herself not to snarl at him, Rowan said, “Personally I prefer herbal tea—can’t take the caffeine anymore.”
Peg and May, the two elderly sisters from Dakota who looked fluttery and sweet and knew more about birds than most encyclopedias, passed Brant the plate of papaya and the cream for his coffee; Sheldon and Karen, the newlyweds from Maine, gave him the bemused smiles they gave everything and everyone; Steve and Natalie, unmarried and so argumentative that Rowan sincerely hoped they weren’t contemplating marriage, both eyed Brant speculatively. Steve no doubt saw Brant as a potential rival for Alpha male; whereas Natalie was probably wanting to haul him off to bed the minute Steve was looking the other way.
Brant was a big boy. Let Brant deal with Natalie.
Peg said, “You missed some wonderful shorebirds in Antigua yesterday, Brant. But you’ll have lots of time to catch up...I’m sure you saw the mangrove cuckoo in the breadfruit tree?”
“And the black form of the bananaquit in the bougainvillea?” May added.
Brant took a deep draft of coffee; he was going to need it. He said cautiously, dredging his memory for the pictures in the bird book, “I thought a bananaquit was yellow?” and realized he’d said exactly the right thing. Peg and May launched into an enthusiastic and mystifying discussion about isolation and Darwinian theory,