grandchild! I’ll take care of him or her while you’re studying and working in the hospital. There won’t be a problem…”
She saw the tears of happiness in her mother’s eyes as she hugged her. When they separated her mother dabbed at her eyes with a tissue. “You go for it, my darling, and I’ll be with you every step of the way.”
“What will Daddy say?” Tanya asked tentatively.
“Oh, don’t you worry about your father. I can handle him. He’s a pussy cat really, although he may find it a bit irregular. Now, you run along and get back to that wonderful man of yours and tell him…well, break it gently. Men can be a bit strange at times like this but he’ll come round to the idea if you give him time. I’ve known Manolis since he was a child and he’s a good man. He’ll stand by you. After all, it’s not as if you got pregnant by yourself. It takes two to tango…”
When Manolis arrived back that evening she waited until after supper, having cooked one of his favourites, a chicken casserole. Then she told him the news. Oh, the shock on his face! She told him to sit down because he looked like he might faint. Then she joined him on the sofa. She told him she was definitely going to go through with it.
He said, “Of course you are!” Then he paused as if he was weighing his words. “And, of course, we must get married.”
It was his tone of voice that had made her think he was simply doing the dutiful thing. He was still in a state of shock. She remembered her mother’s words. He’s a good man. He’ll stand by you. Did she really want someone who was simply being dutiful?
“I don’t think we should rush things,” she told him.
“Are you saying you don’t want to marry me?”
She took a deep breath before saying, “It’s not as straightforward as that. I’m going to have a baby. Let’s do one thing at a time. For the moment I want to make my preparations for being a good mother and also I need to get on with my studies.”
But nothing prepared her for the agony of her miscarriage at fourteen weeks. It was all such a blur now. The sudden bleeding, Manolis driving her to hospital, being told she’d lost the baby, rushed into Theatre for a D and C.
She stifled the sob that rose at the back of her throat and looked out at the bright sunshine beyond the bedroom window, breathing deeply to calm herself again.
She had a sudden vision of Manolis standing by her hospital bed, telling her that he wanted to take care of her until she was well again. He was again asking her to marry him, to be his wife so that he could look after her. His voice had been so tender and kind. But she remembered the feeling of panic. Her hormones had been in control of her body, not she. She couldn’t make decisions at a time like this when she was grieving for the baby that had died inside her. Couldn’t commit to anything so life-changing as marriage.
So she’d looked up at Manolis and said she couldn’t marry him. That it was best they separate until she didn’t feel so confused. They’d only been together for a few months and everything had happened so quickly.
She turned her head to look around Grandma Katerina’s bedroom, her bedroom now, and decided that was enough reminiscing for today. Time to get back to the present and continue with her new life.
No time for nostalgic reflection now! It was high time she got herself moving and sorted out her clothes. Just in case Manolis phoned to say she should go down to the hospital for an interview.
* * *
In the house next door Manolis stared up at the ceiling. He couldn’t believe he’d passed up the opportunity of a night with Tanya. How often had he dreamed that she’d come back to him, that they were together again?
She had obviously been aroused by his kiss last night. Or had she just been pretending so as not to hurt his feelings? He could never be sure with Tanya. He’d lived with her for a few months, loved her, conceived a child with her and mourned with her when their unborn child had died in the womb. But he still couldn’t understand her!
He remembered the night she’d told him she was pregnant. The shock of it had almost taken his breath away. He’d felt so guilty at giving her an added burden to the load of getting through her studies and exams. He had been so worried it would all be too much for her that it had only been in the next few weeks that he’d had time to begin anticipating how wonderful it would be to have a child with Tanya. She’d seemed so happy, and so capable of handling the situation that he’d begun to relax with her again.
She’d made it quite clear this was what she wanted, a child and a medical career. He’d realised that life was going to be wonderful when they were a family and not just a couple.
Then had come the awful evening when she’d started to bleed. She had been fourteen weeks, he remembered. He’d driven her to hospital, made sure she was admitted immediately but there had been nothing anyone could do to save their baby.
He swallowed hard as the awful sadness of their loss hit him again. His grief had been almost impossible to bear. But he’d forced himself to stay strong for Tanya. He wanted to protect her, to take care of her while she’d been weak and vulnerable. That was when he’d made the mistake—he realised it now—of again asking to marry her. He’d told her that he wanted to look after her, to make sure as a doctor that she had the best treatment until she was strong again. He’d told her not to rush herself with her answer. He would wait until she was stronger.
But she’d looked at him as if he was a stranger. Her eyes had been blank, he remembered. This wasn’t the girl he knew and loved. He’d worked in obstetrics and witnessed how hormonal a woman could be when she’d lost a child. But it would pass—surely Tania would realise that her current situation was temporary.
He looked up at the ceiling as he tried to bring his emotions back under control. He hadn’t been prepared for her rejection of him. She’d asked him to leave her.
He remembered going out through the ward door. Her mother had been coming towards him down the corridor. She’d put out her hand and taken hold of his. “It’s best you leave Tanya alone for a while, Manolis. She’s very confused. We’re going to take her home for a while until she’s strong again.”
After she’d sent him away, rejecting the love he wanted to give her for the rest of his life, he’d felt he would never understand her. Not in a million years!
But last night, as he’d kissed her, he’d felt the desire rising in him as she’d snuggled against him and he’d felt that it might be possible to take this embrace to its obvious conclusion. But the old fears of rejection had nagged him. No, he’d been deluding himself, elated by the successful conclusion of a working partnership when they’d safely delivered Helene’s baby together.
Oh, yes, she might have gone to bed with him. But he wanted more than a no-strings relationship with Tanya. But he could tell she valued her freedom. He could understand that now. She’d worked hard to become a qualified and now experienced doctor. She didn’t need marriage.
Not like he did. As a young man he’d had two ambitions—one, to become a doctor and, two, to raise a family with the woman of his dreams. He’d had several no-strings relationships before he’d gone to Australia to take up a post in the hospital where Costas had been working. Meeting up with Costas’s sister Tanya again when he’d been twenty-eight and she was a promising medical student of twenty-two had been like a bolt of lightning.
He’d been amazed when he had seen her for the first time for six years. The last time he’d seen her had been just before her father had taken the family out to Australia. He’d just spent his first year as a qualified doctor in the London hospital where he’d trained and had come over to Ceres for a short break. Tanya had been with Costas one time when they’d all walked down from Chorio to the harbour for drinks together as night fell.
He’d noticed she was growing into a very attractive young lady. But she had just been his friend’s sister and far too young for him. But when he’d met her again six years later