kept his face impassive. A deep primitive urge to protect her filled him. Angrily he dampened it down. He had no business here. His business was elsewhere. The people of this land meant nothing to him.
‘I, too, have honour,’ he said instead, seeking to put his debt to her on more formal terms. ‘I owe you a life debt...Lady Alwynn. I always pay my debts. Know this and keep it in your heart.’
Her brows drew together. ‘What does that mean? A life debt?’
‘You saved me. I owe you something for that, regardless of what your code demands.’ He allowed a smile to touch his lips. His debt to this woman was no different from the ones he’d owed to various warriors who had saved his back. ‘My life is very precious to me.’
‘Not jumping off any more boats would do for a start.’ She moved away from him. ‘I’ve not done anything special. I am simply the person who happened upon you. Any other decent person would have done no less.’
‘And yet I believe you are not supposed to save strangers on a beach.’ He made a correct bow. The muscles in his back screamed. ‘Ask what you will and if it is in my power, I will do it. You do not need to decide right away.’
‘And if I decide after you have gone?’
He twisted his mother’s ring off his little finger. ‘Send this and I will come.’
Her fingers closed around it. ‘And how will I find you?’
‘When I go, we will speak of it.’
Her tongue absently traced the outline of her lower lip. ‘There is no need. As I said, I am merely a woman who tends her garden.’
‘You saved my life.’
They stood looking at each other until a wood pigeon called in the woods. The spell was broken.
‘I’ve made up a bed and you need to drink this,’ she said, suddenly all businesslike. She picked a wooden beaker up from the table. ‘I made it earlier when...when you were resting outside.’
He took a taste of the strangely sweet liquid. ‘And it is?’
‘Valerian mixed with mead. To make you sleep.’
‘I will rest and then depart.’ A great sneeze racked his body, making his ribs hurt anew. ‘I don’t want to put you in danger.’
‘You may go when you are fit to travel.’ She placed her hands on her hips. ‘And you will catch your death if you continue to stand there partially unclothed.’ She gestured towards the bed. ‘There is a nightshirt. Put it on. I would have your clothes to lay before the fire.’
‘Only half-drowned.’
‘When you are finished, call me.’
‘You are not going to stay to watch me disrobe completely?’
She quirked a brow upwards. ‘I doubt there will be anything interesting to see.’
She turned on her heel and went out of the room.
Valdar gave a half-smile. It felt good to bait her. Something to do which did not involve fighting for his survival or nursing the black place in his soul.
‘I will find a way to repay her before I leave,’ Valdar vowed under his breath as a wave of tiredness hit him. He breathed in the dusty pleasant smell. For the first time in a long while, despite being on enemy territory, he knew he was safe.
* * *
The faint embers of the fire flickered, throwing strange lights on the plaster walls. Alwynn sat in Gode’s only chair and listened to the sound of Valdar’s uneven breathing.
The warrior hadn’t woken since he fell into the valerian-induced sleep, but he had had nightmares. Merri had returned after exercising Purebright. She was uncharacteristically quiet, but Alwynn put it down to the morning’s excitement. She also readily agreed to help keep Valdar’s presence a secret before she left.
Alwynn had occupied herself by washing the salt out of his clothes and generally tidying the cottage. When her old nurse returned, she would have to have the talk about Gode living alone that she’d been postponing for a few months. Perhaps now that Theodbald was dead and they lived in a different hall, Gode would be more willing. Alwynn made a face. Gode was a law unto herself.
Valdar began thrashing about on the makeshift pallet, moaning in his sleep, calling on all manner of people for assistance.
Alwynn went over and laid a hand on his shoulder. ‘Hush, you are safe. But continue to yell this loudly and they will hear you in the next kingdom.’
His eyes flew open and he raised his fist. The embers from the fire were reflected in the depths of his eyes. She couldn’t say if he saw her or someone else, but his hand slowly lowered.
He mumbled something indistinct and his fingers picked at the bed covering.
‘Pardon?’
‘Kiss me. Kiss me like you mean it.’ His face became tortured. ‘Please.’
She stared at him. Did he mean her? Or some other woman?
‘You must lie still. Rest.’ She paused. ‘Later, I will kiss you.’
‘Please! Now! Once before I die.’
The ragged plea tore at her heart. One kiss would not change anything. But it might mean something to him. What if he didn’t last the night? What if she never knew what his mouth felt like against hers?
She knelt down beside him and took his face in her hands. His skin was hot to the touch and his eyes fever-bright.
What harm could it do? He’d never remember it.
She lowered her mouth and tasted. His lips parted and she was drawn into a kiss which was unlike any she had experienced before—gently persuading, but intense at the same time. His hand came around her head and held her in place while he coaxed and nibbled. Her entire being became flame and she wanted it to continue.
Then suddenly it was over. His hand, which had held her head in place, fell back. His eyes fluttered shut.
‘Kara never kissed me like that. Ever.’
Alwynn sat back on her heels and touched her aching lips. What had she done? Who was Kara? His wife? His mistress? The woman he loved? It shouldn’t matter, but it did. She hugged her arms about her waist, trying to prevent a great hollow from opening and swallowing her up. He wouldn’t remember it in the morning, but she knew she’d remember it for the rest of her life.
It had been the moment when she’d proved that she was made of more than ice, that it had been her husband at fault. Another ghost laid to rest. She sighed. But there were plenty more ghosts where that one came from. She might not be made of ice, but she had never borne a live child. Ever.
The familiar but bittersweet longing to hold her own child swept over her. She pushed it away. She had Merri. She was contented in her life. She knew what she wanted.
Valdar thrashed his head about on the pallet and muttered several words. Alwynn froze. She knew deep in her heart what he was and where he was from. Across the sea. From the North. But he wasn’t a raider. He’d come in peace.
She smoothed Valdar’s damp hair from his forehead and knew she would make the same choice. This man deserved to live. ‘What have I done?’
Alwynn paused in the weeding of Gode’s garden the next morning. Sitting still and watching Valdar only kept the thoughts about the kiss they’d shared circling about her brain. She had ventured outside at first light, determined to do something productive.
Thankfully Gode wouldn’t mind. More than anything Gode would welcome the weeds being pulled and the action