him to know that.
Maybe that was why, despite knowing he’d been at the facility the past two days, she hadn’t been able to drag herself to Ben’s room to ask him to speak with her. Or maybe it was something more cowardly. Maybe she was afraid that Ben would know who she was now, and she couldn’t blame Quinn if he’d told him. He’d never promised to keep her secrets, and what loyalty did he owe her? Sharing something that was going on in your own life could be a kind of currency to get your friends to talk when they needed to.
“You’re leaving notes for me now?” Quinn’s voice cut across the cavernous ballroom-gymnasium, jolting her from her thoughts so that she had to grab the safety bars again to steady herself.
Would his voice always jolt her?
Heart hammering, she shut off the machine. At least she had the exercise to blame for the way her words came out, breathy and with effort. “I waited for an hour in the foyer, long past the time it started to look weird that I waited for you. Then I decided to write a note. The envelope was sealed, the front was as formal as could be.”
Grabbing a towel, she dried herself off as she walked to meet him, pretending her legs wobbled because of the running too.
* * *
“I noticed.” Quinn thrust the envelope back at her, and looked around the ballroom to make certain they were alone. The last thing he needed this week was to have to explain why he was ogling the doctor or being overly familiar. “And I’m here. What do you want?”
The nod to revenge he’d felt on leaving her there bent over the trash bin hadn’t even lasted until he’d gotten out the door—and that hadn’t even been a version of Anais who looked like his wife. While her hair and eyes remained the wrong color, her glasses were now gone and the hair pulled back from her face let him almost see her. Almost.
Her hand shook a touch when she took the envelope, and he swallowed the urge to lash out at her again, to shock her with some other brutality from the frontline—he had a thousand such story grenades to hurl.
“I just want to talk to you about something. Will you come to my office?”
“Why not here?”
“It’s private.”
Their last conversation had been on repeat in his head since it had ended. While he’d met with his brother. While he’d found out the new family secret: the King was dying. Even sitting by his grandfather’s bed, he’d had her on repeat, enough to riddle out what had set her off.
She’d paled before he’d even mentioned the cameras. She’d been sick about him, not about herself. She still felt something, no matter what she pretended.
It would’ve been so easy to tell her to go to hell, ignore her, as he’d been more or less doing since that first day. To come when she was at lunch, leave when she’d gone home, and continue driving Ben up the wall by refusing to leave him alone in his misery.
But she wanted to talk. And, God help him, he still wanted to talk to her. Maybe this was his opening. Apologies started with regret and, whether she’d admit it or not, he could see she had regrets.
Quinn waved a hand for her to lead the way, and the relief on her face notched his hope higher. He had to pick up his usual leisurely pace to keep up with her and, directly in her wake, her scent channeled to him.
Sweaty, but she still smelled fantastic. Clean, but sweet. Sexy.
Her long, heavy locks had been pulled up high on her head, and the straightening she’d inflicted on it had come undone in the dampness. Waves stretched up from the bottom, where the mass had brushed against her bare back, gathering sweat. A shiver racked his body, raising chills all over him, and Quinn had to thank fate he was walking behind her rather than in her line of sight.
Getting wrapped up in hormones wasn’t the right tack for this conversation—whatever it was going to be about. Before she’d left him, he could’ve easily made any private conversation with her about what his body wanted.
He pulled his gaze to her feet, which seemed safest. Only feet attached to slender ankles, and then his eyes tracked up over the soft skin covering the newly acquired definition in her calves. Her thighs. Her rear...
The shorts she wore clung in a fantastically distracting manner and, just below, he could see the dark little mole that always wanted to be kissed, peeking and retreating from the hem of her shorts on the right as her clothing moved with each step.
By the time they reached her office he had to keep reminding himself of the objective, but every reminder was a little quieter than the hunger for her that had him shaking.
“It’s hot in here,” he muttered, dragging his jacket off and tossing it onto the back of one of the guest chairs.
“It gets warmer in here at night. Sorry. Would you like something to drink first?”
“I’m fine.” He dragged the chair back and sat down, nodding for her to do the same. Hopefully outside of his reach. “But take out the contacts first.”
“What?” She stilled, her expression shifting to something uncomfortably close to fear. “Why?”
As if she had anything to fear from him. Aside from something he might say to upset her...
“You want to talk to me? Great. I don’t want to talk to Anna. I want to talk to Anais. When you’ve got them in, it’s like I can’t see you, but you can still see me. You want me to stay? Take them out.”
“Anna wants to talk to you.”
Anna. Right. This wasn’t about them. This was about work.
Grabbing his jacket again, he rose and headed toward the door. Only a romantic idiot would’ve gotten his hopes up. It angered him that he’d gotten them up without even realizing it. She’d been gone for seven years, now she suddenly wanted to reconnect? Sure. Dumbass.
He’d reached the knob before she cracked. “Wait.”
The sound of rustling came from behind him: drawers opening, things being dropped on the desk top. When he looked back, she had a contacts case and some fluid on the desk. Half a minute later, she had the contacts out and a tissue blotting her eyes.
“Still not used to them?”
“They’re fine.” She dropped the tissue on the desk, squared her shoulders, and came back around to sit as he’d done, chair turned, facing him. When she finally looked at him, his chest squeezed. Blue-green, like the southern seas on sunny white sand. Even with all the other changes, she was truly his wife in that moment. His eyes burned at the thought and he let his head bow forward until the burning passed, needing to get on with things, to keep from reaching for her, his tropical songbird masquerading as a pigeon.
And with the door closed, he couldn’t smell anything but her.
God, this was a mistake.
“What did you want?”
Don’t touch her.
Don’t touch her. Don’t touch her.
“I wanted to talk to you about Lieutenant Nettle.”
Ben. Right. Good. He’d spent all that time at the facility for Ben, and she was one of his doctors. Made sense, if someone had a functioning brain.
Rather than saying anything else, he nodded. The sooner he let her get on with it, the sooner he could leave.
“I think it’s been really great for him to have you here. I’m glad you keep coming back. Not just because you averted disaster; he wouldn’t see anyone but staff otherwise. But now he’s talking a little, mostly to you, I think. But he’s having you stick around when the therapist comes, right?”
“Right,” he said, then added, “What does Ben need? Just spit it out.”
She shifted, tried to sit up straighter, but her shoulders already