had been a long surgery, but it had been successful. The tests on the nerves showed function in the patient’s legs. It was just a matter of time before they could bring him out of the coma and see what damage had been done to his brain, but Ryan didn’t believe that there would be any damage. Therapeutic hypothermia worked.
Right now, that wasn’t his concern. He was worried that Emily was pushing herself too hard and that she was putting herself and the baby in jeopardy.
He straddled the bench beside her. It took all his willpower not to reach out and touch her, but he thought the gesture would not be a welcome one. In fact, the moment he’d arrived he’d had the distinct feeling that his presence here was unwelcome.
And he aimed to change that. He’d give her the support she needed while he was here. He owed her that much. He was terrified about being a father and he wasn’t sure he knew how to be a good one.
His own father had abandoned him and his mother instead of ranching on his mother’s family’s land. He knew nothing about being there for a kid. He wasn’t sure he could.
Morgan never gave you the chance to decide.
Maybe that was for the best. His life was too transient. He liked it that way.
Do you?
He shook his head.
He was a fool.
“You okay?”
“Fine.” She sat up straight, but he could see that she was exhausted.
“It’s a long time on your feet.”
“I’m aware of that.”
“When did you eat last?” he asked.
Emily shook her head. “Lunch, just before I got the call from Dr. Ruchi about the conjoined twins and before you decided to grace me with your presence.”
He chuckled. “Come on, let’s get something to eat.”
“There’s no time. The patient’s parents have arrived and are in the waiting room. I think we have to go talk to them and take them to their son.”
“We can go talk to them, but one of the interns can take them to their son in the ICU. After we talk to them, you’re getting something to eat. Doctor’s orders.”
Emily sighed and stood up. “Fine.”
“You’re not going to argue with me?” he teased.
“No, because you’re right and I’m starving. Let’s go talk to the Klassens. Dr. Teal can take them up to see their son.” Emily stood up, but she closed her eyes and the blood drained from her face.
Ryan reached out and held her steady. “Whoa, you’re definitely not fine.”
“Just a bit dizzy. Okay, you’re right. Today I pushed it too far. I haven’t been present in a pediatric orthopedic or neurosurgery since I got pregnant.”
He helped her sit back down. “I want you to stay here. I’ll go speak with the parents and then I’ll be right back.”
She nodded. “Okay.”
“I’ll be right back. Don’t move.”
“I won’t.”
* * *
He didn’t want to leave her, but he had a duty to his patient’s parents. They were probably sick with worry. He took Dr. Teal with him so that the young intern could take Jason’s parents to the ICU, and because Dr. Teal was with him it didn’t take him long to find the waiting area.
He explained to Jason’s parents the procedure and the outcome. Jason’s family would be in Seattle for some time while Jason went through extensive physiotherapy after he healed.
At least with kids they bounced back.
After Dr. Teal had taken Jason’s parents up to the ICU, Ryan turned round and went back to the operating room floor, using Emily’s pass.
She’d stayed where he’d left her.
Only she was sitting on the floor, her back to the wall and her head between her knees. He rushed over to her and knelt down.
“Emily?”
“I really need to get something to eat.” A weak smile tugged at her lips and he couldn’t help but smile at her.
“Come on. I’ll take you to the nicest place in town.”
“Don’t you have to stay while your patient is in the ICU?” she asked as he helped her to her feet.
“I do, but the nicest place in town isn’t far.”
She laughed. “I hate to disappoint you, the cafeteria is not the nicest place in town.”
“Well, it will have to do until I can take you to the nicest place in town. Where is that, by the way?”
She chuckled again and shrugged as they began to walk slowly away from the OR. “I don’t know. I’ve been in Seattle for five years but I haven’t got out and done much.”
“You’re not from Seattle?” he asked.
“No, I’m from Salt Lake City and, no, before you ask, I’m not Mormon. My parents are, but I never connected with the religion or any religion, just science.”
Ryan nodded. He understood that. Science had exerted the same sort of pull on him. His mother had wanted him to farm her family’s land, but by the time he’d hit eighteen it had been apparent that he was not suited to a life of ranching. That was about the time his mother had stopped talking to him and when he’d learned to fend for himself.
“Well, asking about your religious affiliation was the furthest thing from my mind.”
“Sorry, it’s just when I tell people where I’m from, that’s the first thing I’m asked.” She glanced up at him. “Sorry I’m walking so slowly.”
“It’s fine. Take your time.” He couldn’t help but wonder why she was apologizing so much.
“It’s frustrating,” she admitted. “I would spend my time racing around this hospital. I could get from the ICU to the emergency room in five minutes and now I’m significantly slower.”
He felt like he should apologize, but he hadn’t been the only willing party the night they’d conceived their child. What he did feel bad about was missing the first six months of her pregnancy, for her doing this on her own.
He was ashamed about that and angry at himself. He might not be sure about being a father, but he’d never meant to leave her alone. If he’d only known...
“Let’s get you something to eat.”
They walked into the cafeteria and Emily sat down. Ryan went to the counter and grabbed a couple of sandwiches and some water. He brought it back to her and sat down next to her.
“Thanks for this,” Emily said. “They really do make good sandwiches.”
“Still, there’s probably somewhere better and I’m going to have to find it and take you to it.”
She raised her eyebrows. “Why?”
“Emily, we have a lot to talk about.”
“Other than work, we don’t. I meant what I said in those messages, I can raise this baby on my own. We both made a mistake—”
“I don’t walk away from my responsibilities.” He was annoyed that she was giving him an out. He didn’t want an out. Well, he did, but he didn’t either. Right now, he wasn’t sure what he wanted. But he was here now.
The last time that had happened, he’d lost a child and it had hurt. He was going to take responsibility for this one.
There