Irene Brand

To Love and Honor


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      “The first step toward coping is prayer.”

      “I have been praying, and I’m sure Roger has also, otherwise, I couldn’t have come this far.”

      “You seem to have the situation under control,” the pastor said. “How can I help you?”

      “Although I don’t know how I can possibly care for a very ill woman and teach school also, I’m concerned about local people finding out about my past, as well. I rather flatter myself that I have a good reputation in the community, and I don’t know how I can bear to have everyone know that my mother is in prison for killing my father.” Violet covered her face with her hands. “Just saying the words brings so much anguish that I want to crawl in a hole and die. What will it be like when those words are on the lips of everyone in Maitland?”

      Roger placed his hand on Violet’s trembling shoulder. “Perhaps we should mention, Pastor, that Mrs. Conley doesn’t want to be released from prison. She wouldn’t tell the authorities that she had any relatives. It’s my understanding that right from the first, she has tried to protect Violet’s name. I have doubts that she will willingly come here.”

      “Then I’d suggest, Roger, that you find out the particulars of her release and the extent of the obligations Violet will have to assume. If you do bring Mrs. Conley to Maitland, I can break the news to the church family, and I think most of them will support you. I can’t answer for the rest of the community.” He left his chair and went to a bookshelf behind him. “Have either of you read this bestselling book by Richard Cameron?”

      “I don’t recognize the name,” Violet said, and Roger shook his head.

      “What’s Your Prison? is apparently the author’s first book. His premise is that all of us are imprisoned by something, and he gives spiritual evidence that we can be freed by the Spirit. Your mother has a physical prison, but Cameron contends that other kinds of imprisonment can be just as confining and self-destructive. He refers to situations that imprison the spirit—passions, fear, jealousy, ambition, the inability to forgive, hatred, and many others—and though humankind can be pardoned legally for its sins against humanity, only God can free a person from spiritual and moral bondage. Cameron bases his premise on the words of Jesus, ‘So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.’ I was so impressed by his writings that I contacted the publisher to see if we could invite the author for a series of lectures on the subject, but it seems Mr. Cameron is a recluse and will not make public appearances.”

      Roger took the book and leafed through it before he handed it to Violet. “I’ve never put it into those words,” he said, “but I agree with the author. I’ve always thought that we make our own prisons.”

      “It might be encouraging to you to read this book, Violet,” Pastor Tom said, “because the task you’re assuming will not be an easy one. You will have your own prison.”

      “Thank you,” Violet said, and she tucked the book in her pocket. Despite Pastor Tom’s praise, she doubted that any book could hold the answers to her dilemma.

      As they left the church, Larry drove by in his sleek silver sedan, but if he saw them, he made no indication. With a wry smile, Roger said, “Suppose he will make the same assumption that Pastor Tom did when we arrived at his office?”

      “Oh, the pastor was just joking.” Roger opened the truck door and assisted her into the high seat. “What do you think of the pastor’s suggestion that you make some official inquiries?”

      “I’ll start on it the first thing in the morning. I should have some news by the time you’re home from work tomorrow.”

      As they drove the short distance toward her home, Violet said, “That will make the day long for me, but if you call me at school, I won’t be able to concentrate on my teaching.”

      When she telephoned Ruth of her decision, her aunt immediately said, “If you do bring her to your home, I’m coming to help you. You can’t afford to quit work, and I can take a leave from my part-time job.” Although she hated for Ruth to make the sacrifice, Violet didn’t know how she could possibly manage alone, and she agreed to accept her aunt’s help.

      Larry telephoned soon after Violet returned from evening worship service, and after he had chatted briefly, he said, “I saw you with Roger Gibson again this afternoon.”

      “Yes, he invited me to go out to his farm, and we hiked in the woodlands. We needed to stop at the church afterward to speak to Pastor Tom.”

      “Perhaps I shouldn’t ask, but what is your relationship with Gibson?”

      Larry had not yet made any commitment that would give him the right to regulate her friendships, and the domineering tone his voice took on as he asked his question certainly annoyed her, but she answered calmly. “Roger is a good friend. I see him often at church, and since I’ve taught both of his children, we’ve had a satisfactory teacher-parent relationship.”

      “I don’t like to make a point of it, but we’ve dated steadily for almost a year. I haven’t seen anyone else during that time, and I assumed that you hadn’t, but the past few days, Lieutenant Gibson has enjoyed more of your company than I have.”

      If the time came when she had to choose between Roger’s friendship and Larry’s companionship, what would she do?

      “I’m sorry to disturb you, Larry. The past few days, Roger and I have had a mutual problem, which required our meeting, but I can’t reveal any more than that at this time. You’ll just have to trust me.”

      “Very well,” Larry answered tersely. “Have you decided about going on the skiing trip? We’re leaving the day before Thanksgiving and will be back by Tuesday when school resumes.”

      Violet hesitated. Since she didn’t know when or if her mother would be coming, she couldn’t commit herself to the trip, but Thanksgiving was three weeks away, and it was quite likely that her mother would be in her home by then. “I would really enjoy going with you, but I’m fairly sure that I’ll have visitors over the holiday. Perhaps you’ll give me a rain check?”

      Ignoring her comment, he didn’t say whether he would or not, and Violet assumed he was annoyed. “You remember that I’ll be gone all next week to the national principal’s convention in Florida.”

      Violet laughed. “It’s tough luck to have to go to Florida and miss all of this gloomy weather we’re having, but someone has to take the dirty jobs. Have fun.”

      “Remember we are going down there to work, but I intend to consider it a working vacation.” His good humor seemed to have resurfaced, and he said, “Goodbye. See you in a week.”

      The time dragged for Violet on Monday. It was always difficult to motivate her students on Mondays, especially when her own mind was elsewhere. They had been hyperactive while preparing for the fair competition, and now that it was over, and the awards given, she could hardly interest them in the new unit they were starting.

      Nan and Violet had a chance to lunch together and met in Violet’s room to eat the bag lunches they’d brought from home.

      “Did you have any flack about the Social Studies competition?” Nan asked.

      “A lot of dirty looks on Friday, both toward Janie and me, but except for the ‘accident’ to her project, I haven’t heard anything. Have you?”

      “Some comments among the teachers about ‘favoritism,’ but there are several teachers who don’t feel about Janie as we do. She’s an embarrassment to them…they feel intimidated by her past. People who have lived a trauma-free life can’t understand those who haven’t had it easy.”

      If Janie affected them that way, how would they deal with Violet’s sordid background? Would that alienate her also?

      “I haven’t asked about the birthday party last week. How did it go?”

      Remembering her unease at the dinner, Violet’s