Rosie Thomas 4-Book Collection: Strangers, Bad Girls Good Women, A Woman of Our Times, All My Sins Remembered
had amused themselves over dinner at Leoni’s that evening by speculating on the threesome at the centre table. It was Mattie who had first drawn their attention.
‘Look at that hair.’
‘And the superstructure.’
‘Harry, you’re a dirty old man.’
‘Age has nothing to do with it, my boy.’
‘Anyway, the blonde’s mine. You can have the dark one.’
‘I fancy it’s an academic question. They’re having far too good a time on their own.’
‘With that panty-waist?’ Joshua’s blond eyebrows shot up into his tanned forehead.
Harry laughed. ‘Appearances can be deceptive.’
‘Not that appearance.’ Josh signalled to the waiter. ‘But there’s only one way to find out. Let’s send ’em a drink.’
The bubbles fizzed and burst on Julia’s tongue. The champagne seemed to send currents of elation through her veins. She gripped the edge of the white cloth, to anchor herself in her chair.
I’m still here, she thought. I’m still myself. That’s good. That’s all that matters. She knew that she was hurt, somewhere, but the pain, if there was going to be any, hadn’t bitten into her yet. There was only the strange, tight, bursting feeling, buried inside her. ‘We can’t just drink their champagne,’ she said aloud. ‘We’ll have to invite them to join us.’
A moment later Joshua Flood leaned between Mattie and Julia.
‘I thought you were never going to ask.’
He had green eyes, and his hair was bleached by the wind or the sun. He positioned his chair between Julia and Mattie, and his good-humoured, appraising glance slid from one to the other.
‘Thank you for the champagne,’ Julia said.
He bowed, mock-formally. ‘It was my pleasure.’ When he held out his hand, it was to Julia first.
‘I’m Joshua Flood. Josh. And this is my buddy, Harry Gilbert.’
‘We’d better have another bottle,’ Harry smiled.
Even Felix liked them. They were breezy, and funny, and attractive, especially Josh. He saw Julia looking at Josh, watching the way he put his glass to his mouth, the way he flicked his Zippo lighter to his cigarette. He was glad that his hand hadn’t reached her fingers. Not tonight.
Julia had drawn Josh closer, almost cutting him out of the circle. It wasn’t deliberate, but she couldn’t stop looking at him. Joshua caught Harry’s eye and grinned, shrugging faintly. The blonde one was sexier, but he didn’t mind. Harry didn’t mind either. With his developed, English nose for who was what he had spotted at once that these girls and their friend weren’t his own kind. They were very pretty, and they were lively and interesting, but it was only an evening’s diversion, no more than that. He glanced at Josh again. Josh had no time for the English class system, and Harry could see already that the dark girl promised more than an evening’s diversion for Joshua. Good luck to him, Harry thought cheerfully, and he refilled Mattie’s glass with pink Louis Roederer.
Later, when Mattie and Julia retired to the cloakroom to repair their make-up, Julia asked breathlessly, ‘Isn’t he beautiful?’
‘He’s that all right,’ Mattie answered. ‘Nice, too.’
‘Mattie?’
‘Mmm?’ she was painting her lips with pink lipstick, but their eyes met in the mirror.
‘Mattie … do you want him? I saw him looking at you first.’ Julia was cold with fear of her answer, but she had to ask.
Mattie smiled. ‘You go ahead. I like his friend.’ His friend was older and somehow safer, Mattie added silently. Joshua Flood was someone special, but Mattie wouldn’t stand in Julia’s way tonight.
Julia, are you all right?’ she asked abruptly.
Julia stood still for a moment.
‘I meant about your mum. About what’s happened.’
A dirty little baby who wasn’t wanted, Julia heard again. But I am wanted. Josh wants me, I can see it in his face. She laughed, a little shakily. ‘Yes, I’m all right.’ Mattie hugged her, and then smoothed her dress.
‘Come on, then. Let’s get back to your aviator.’
When they reached the table the second bottle of champagne was empty, and Felix was standing up ready to leave.
‘I’m sure I’m leaving you in good hands,’ he said lightly.
The girls kissed him, one on each cheek. ‘Thank you for a wonderful dinner,’ they told him. ‘You and Jessie.’
Felix’s black eyes flickered, not quite to Julia’s face. Then he lifted his hand, almost into a salute, and turned away.
After that there was a taxi, and a nightclub, a proper one with tables in alcoves and girls in evening dresses to serve drinks. Mattie and Julia tried to look as if they came to such places every night, and Harry and Josh played along with the fantasy.
A crooner came out on to the little stage close to their table and addressed his songs to Mattie. She snorted with laughter, and told Harry, ‘I can do better than that. Julia, shall I get up there and give them “Ma, He’s Making Eyes at Me?” ’
‘Oh no, please,’ Julia murmured faintly.
‘You stay right here with me,’ Harry ordered. His arm was around Mattie’s shoulders and his hand rested on her breast. Mattie, fuelled by champagne, was at her best, teasing and flirtatious and quick-tongued. She knew that she was safe, here in this nightclub surrounded by people. She had also guessed, accurately enough, that Harry Gilbert would have a steady girl, perhaps even a wife, who rode horses somewhere in the country. And so he wasn’t likely to be a long-term threat either. She could sit back and enjoy sparring good-naturedly with him.
Josh was different. Even when he was sitting at their table telling Julia about flying he was moving, restless, confined by the nightclub’s smoky ceilings. His hands moved, making shapes in the air, and he leaned closer so that she saw his white, even teeth and the play of the muscles around his mouth. He had long eyelashes, bleached gold at the tips like his hair. She wanted to touch the backs of his hands, where the taut sinews showed.
‘Why are you so brown?’ she asked him.
‘I’m a traveller. I work where I can, flying, and if it’s in the sun, so much the better. Then, when I’ve put enough money together, I ski until it runs out.’
Julia thought of languorous silver beaches, and then snow under a brittle blue sky. A long way from the attic flat, and from the rows of desks in the accounts office. Her freedom seemed suddenly tame. Josh’s glittering energy fired her own, making it blaze up inside her. It was impossible to sit still any longer.
The singer finished his spot.
‘I want to dance. Can we?’ she asked Josh.
He smiled at her. ‘Sure we can.’
On the little dance floor he held out his arms to her. She stepped forward, a small, deliberate step. His hand on her waist felt light and warm.
Dancing at the Rocket was nothing like this. Usually Julia knew what tune the band was playing, what the other girls were wearing, who was dancing nearby and what steps they were doing.
Tonight she didn’t notice anything, except Josh. She forgot how to dance, and learned all over again through Josh. She felt lighter than she had ever done, part of the music itself.
From across the room Mattie saw them smiling at each other, hypnotised. She was dancing with Harry, whose still, English bearing was such a contrast to Josh’s. Harry danced like a poker.