do you calm your mind in the face of the normal and natural anxieties that often arise during these nine months? How do you tell your mother-in-law that, no offense, but you prefer not to name your child Horatio Horace Humphrey?*
That’s exactly why we developed the ultimate pregnancy quality-of-life and stress quizzes. You can take them now (in this book or online at www.realage.com), as well as at various points throughout the next nine months, to see how you’re coping with all of the outside influences on your pregnancy.
Although neither of us has actually experienced pregnancy (obviously), between the two of us, we’ve fathered six children, and if you include our entire authorship team (half of whom are women, including an ob/gyn), we’ve had fifteen kids and delivered or participated in the delivery of more than eight thousand little tykes. So we have a pretty good idea of what it feels like to walk in your soon-to-be-too-tight shoes.
If you’re pregnant right now, we want to offer both congratulations and thanks. Thank you for letting us join you on this journey, and thank you for having the curiosity and passion for learning about what’s going on under the surface, under the skin, under the elastic-waistband pants you’ll soon be needing. As we step out into our exploration of this miraculous mambo, we would be impolite if we didn’t ask one final question: Would you like to dance?
Pregnancy YOU-Q: Your Quality of Life Quiz
When somebody puts the words pregnancy and test in the same sentence, you expect to read about a little stick that gives you a yes or no, pregnant or not. We’re betting this pregnancy test is like none you’ve ever taken. For one thing, it isn’t going to give you an A or an F, a pass or a fail. This test is about something bigger: about understanding yourself and all the experiences that make up pregnancy. Some are exciting, some are stressful, and some may even be a bit painful.
This test is designed to help you get a sense of how you’re experiencing your pregnancy: how you feel about yourself, your journey, and the promise of parenthood. We will give you an overall score at the end of the test that will serve as a beacon to help you navigate that journey and guide your ship to calmer waters.
Take the test as often as you like, especially as your grow and learn about yourself during these nine months. Your score may change along the way—and that’s because you will too.
YOUR Quality of Life: Sex
Answer each of the following questions on a scale of 1 to 5, 5 being this is Very True of Me:
Now check the box that best describes your feelings about this statement:
Sex Score
Interpreting Your Score
Your interest in sex will change somewhat during the course of pregnancy. In the first trimester, you’re likely to feel generally ill, not sexy. The middle trimester is the one in which most women report feeling best, so your interest in sex may go up again. By the third trimester, changes in your body and worries about hurting the baby may decrease your interest in sex again.
Keeping that in mind, if your score is:
3 to 6: Your interest in sex may actually have gone up since you got pregnant. Hooray for hormones! Remember that your body is going to change a lot over the course of pregnancy, and your interest in sex may vary during that time.
7 to 11: Your interest in sex is about what it was before you got pregnant. All of those changes in your body haven’t dampened your sexuality. Enjoy.
12 to 15: You’re showing less interest in sex than you may be used to. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Your body is going through a lot of changes. If you are feeling a much lower interest in sex even during the second trimester, you might want to check out our strategies for adding sensuality into your life, starting on page 172.
YOUR Quality of Life: Cognitive
Answer each of the following questions on a scale of 1 to 5, 5 being this is Very True of Me:
Cognitive Score
Interpreting Your Score
There seems to be little that is helpful about difficulties making decisions, remembering, and concentrating, particularly for women who are trying to maintain a high level of job performance during pregnancy. As frustrating as these experiences may be, think of them as evidence of the transformative power of pregnancy. Plus, they may be good for a few laughs when it’s all over.
If your score is:
3 to 6: Congratulations. Even though you’re pregnant, you’re sharp as a cat’s claw. Somehow, being pregnant has given you laser focus.
7 to 11: Chances are, you’re having a few lapses in thinking. You may feel more indecisive than you did before you got pregnant, and you may have more trouble remembering things than usual. That’s quite normal during pregnancy, though it can be annoying.
12 to 15: You seem to be having a lot of trouble thinking since you got pregnant. Some moderate thinking problems are quite common in pregnancy. If you feel that you have slipped quite a bit, then you need to review aspects of your lifestyle. Are you eating properly? Are you getting enough sleep? If you have other kids already, are you getting some help taking care of them?
YOUR Quality of Life: Craving and Appetite
Answer each of the following questions on a scale of 1 to 5, 5 being this is Very True of Me:
Craving and Appetite Score
Interpreting Your Score
During pregnancy, it’s crucial that you get good nutrition. Your body is working overtime to keep up your energy and to help you build the brain and body of your developing baby. Pregnancy is not necessarily a time to be adventurous about food. Indeed, in evolutionary terms, there is probably good reason to eat only the foods that you’ve eaten successfully in the past. Morning sickness actually evolved as a protective adaptation. Early in pregnancy, your body is protecting your baby from anything that might be harmful to it. Still, even if you are experiencing a lot of nausea, you need to do your best to feed your baby and to take your prenatal vitamins.
If your score is:
4 to 30: You are probably eating fairly well. Do keep track of how much you’re eating and focus on foods that will give you energy and also help your developing baby. If you do experience some nausea, remember that it is quite normal. See our plan in chapter 3 to help you figure out your diet and do your best to provide your baby with the building blocks for a healthy brain and body. And don’t forget your vitamins.