Tracy Corbett

Starlight on the Palace Pier: The very best kind of romance for the Christmas season in 2018


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      ‘Cute hair,’ the woman with the big boobs said. ‘I’m Wanda. Wanda from the US.’

      ‘Nice to meet you, Wanda from the US.’

      Wanda laughed, a big throaty sound. ‘Well, aren’t you a breath of fresh air. Quite the opposite to Nearly-Dead-Morris.’

      Miriam smacked Wanda’s arm. ‘She was the same age as me, thank you very much.’

      Wanda shrugged. ‘I say it as I see it.’

      ‘Well, I wish you wouldn’t.’ Miriam walked off and sat down.

      Wanda followed. ‘Someone’s got their knickers in a twist.’ She let out another throaty laugh. ‘Don’t you just love that word? Knickers? We don’t have that in the US.’

      Becca suspected she was in for an interesting evening. Clearing her throat, she faked a confidence she didn’t feel and addressed the group. ‘Shall we get started? For those of you who have tap shoes please put them on, and then find a space on the floor.’

      Five minutes of faffing followed as Wanda and Miriam struggled to locate their shoes, put them on and tie the laces. Miriam was dressed in a brightly patterned smock dress, whereas Wanda wore the full dance regalia: Lycra catsuit, leg-warmers and top-of-the-range tap shoes. Nick and Cassie, who looked like they’d just come from work, were dressed in head-to-toe grey. Collectively, it was a sight to behold.

      Becca was just thinking it couldn’t get any more bizarre, when the doors opened and another woman joined them. ‘Sorry, I’m late,’ she said, hurrying in. She dropped her bag, tripped over it and then dropped it again when she tried to pick it up.

      ‘That’s Mi-Sun,’ Wanda said, in a loud whisper. ‘She’s from Korea.’

      And Becca thought dealing with the kids was hard.

      Still, at least this lot weren’t running around the room screaming. Not yet, anyway. ‘As we have two new people in the class and I’m new myself, let’s start with a few basic steps to get us warmed up. Okay?’

      Four expectant faces stared at her.

      Mi-Sun ran to join them, tripping up as she did so.

      As a fellow klutz, Becca could empathise. ‘Okay, could you all spread out so you’re not on top of each other?’ They shuffled about. Wanda and Miriam both wanted to be at the front. Nick and Cassie hid at the back. Mi-Sun was left in the middle on her own. ‘Right. The first step we’re going to learn is called the shuffle.’

      ‘Oh, I know this.’ Miriam launched into a demonstration, followed by Wanda, who wasn’t about to be outdone. What with Miriam’s curves and Wanda’s cleavage, there was quite a lot of bouncing going on. The floorboards got a good workout.

      ‘That’s great, ladies. But let’s break it down for the rest of the class.’ She waited until the floor stopped vibrating. ‘The shuffle is a combination of two basic moves, the brush and the strike. Let’s start with the brush.’ She was met with three concerned expressions and two bored ones. Miriam and Wanda failed to hide their frustration at being made to start from the beginning.

      Oh, well. Nothing she could do about that. Even with no teacher training she knew she could only go as fast as the slowest person in the group.

      Becca turned to face the mirrors. ‘Stand on one leg and lift your other foot. Now swing the foot forward, brushing the ball of your foot against the floor.’

      Nick lost his balance.

      Cassie lifted the wrong leg.

      And Mi-Sun fell over.

      Becca rushed over to pick her up. ‘Are you okay?’

      The woman nodded.

      ‘Let’s try again, shall we?’ Becca stood next to Mi-Sun, one eye on Nick and Cassie behind her. ‘Lift your foot, swing it forwards, brush it on the floor.’

      Nick accidently kicked Cassie.

      Cassie lifted the wrong leg.

      And Mi-Sun almost fell over.

      Did that count as progress? Becca wasn’t sure.

      ‘Try again,’ she said, as they attempted to copy her. ‘That’s it. Don’t let your heel touch the floor, Nick. And again.’

      After ten minutes of practice, and aware that Miriam and Wanda were bored, Becca resumed her position at the front. ‘Now you’ve all mastered the brush,’ she managed to say, without any hint of irony, ‘let’s move on to the strike. This is simply the same movement in reverse. You swing your foot backwards, instead of forwards. Then we build up speed so that it looks like this.’ She did a quick demonstration, pleased to note that her knee didn’t object too much. ‘Can you see what I’m doing? Brush, strike, brush, strike.’

      Several attempts were being made to replicate the move, but none of them looked anything like a shuffle.

      Nick lost his balance.

      Cassie got her feet entangled.

      And Mi-Sun fell over.

      Becca sighed.

      It was going to be a long evening.

      *

      By the time she got home, she was mentally exhausted. Her plan to cover how to do a step-ball change and a buffalo step had gone completely out of the window. They’d spent the entire hour trying to master the shuffle…and failing. Despite her constant coaxing and reassurances that they were making progress, her pupils remained unconvinced. And with good cause. She’d never realised teaching involved so much lying.

      What had become evident during the hour-long session was that whereas Miriam and Wanda didn’t suffer from a lack of confidence – or opinions, for that matter – their enthusiasm far outweighed their skill levels. Nick and Cassie were acutely self-conscious, body-conscious and painfully shy, and poor Mi-Sun had absolutely no coordination. She was like a drunk Bambi…on ice.

      Collectively, the group had the core strength of gravy and the flexibility of iron piping. Becca had been completely out of her depth. She was just grateful that once again Carolyn hadn’t been there to witness the car crash; she’d gone to bed early with a mysterious ‘virus’.

      Becca let herself into the guest house, surprised when it looked like no one else was home. She found her mother and cousin upstairs in Jodi’s bedroom trying to fix a leak in the en suite.

      Her mum was gripping a pair of pliers, trying to turn off the tap, which didn’t appear to be budging. Her cheeks were flushed and her hair was sticking up all over the place.

      Becca leant against the doorframe. ‘Problem?’

      ‘What gave you that impression?’ The pliers slipped off the tap and banged against the splashback. Her mum whacked the sink in annoyance.

      Jodi’s expression indicated all was not well.

      Becca reached over and patted her mum’s back. Hardly the most useful of responses, but she felt something was needed. ‘Can I help?’

      Her mum moved out of the way. ‘Be my guest.’ She stretched out her back, grimacing as she did so. Becca supposed it was times like this that her mum missed her dad. He’d been such a competent handyman.

      She picked up the pliers. Having lived in a shared house with a landlord who’d never carried out any repairs, she was used to getting her hands dirty.

      Jodi edged away, not trusting her cousin to be any less lethal than her aunt. ‘How did the tap class go?’

      Becca pulled a face. ‘About as well as the ballet class.’

      ‘That good?’

      ‘Like herding cats.’

      There was a knock on the door. ‘There’s quite a bit of noise coming from up here,’ Mrs Busby