silent call to his son was filled with misery. He was afraid he wouldn’t be able to hold himself together for much longer. Ando lifted his head and looked out the window. He had to distract himself, to interrupt this chain of associations at once. Through the windshield he could see the bright red Keihin Express train go by, slowly. With Shinagawa Station right ahead, it was moving no faster than a slithering snake. Snakes again. There was no way out. He closed his eyes and tried again to think of something else. The tiny hand grabbed at Ando’s calf as it slipped away into the sea. He could feel the touch again. It was the snake’s curse, it had to be. He was about to let out a sob. The situations were too similar. The baby snake, its head crushed, carried away by the flow. Two decades later, its parent’s curse had manifested itself. Takanori was close by, but Ando couldn’t save him. The beach in June, before the season had officially opened. He and his son, paddling out to sea, holding onto a rectangular float. He could hear his wife, back on the shore, call:
Taka! That’s far enough. Come back!
But the boy was too busy bobbing up and down and splashing about. Her voice didn’t reach him.
Honey, come back, okay?
Hysteria was beginning to tinge her voice.
The waves were getting taller, and Ando, too, thought that it was time to turn back. He tried to turn the float around. Just at that moment, a whitecap rose in front of them, and in an instant overturned the float and threw both him and the boy into the sea. His head went under, and it was then that he first realized they were so far out that even his own feet didn’t touch the bottom. He started to panic. When his head broke above the surface again, his son was nowhere to be seen. Treading water, he turned around until he could see his wife running into the sea toward him, still fully clothed. At the same time, a hand grasped at his leg. His son’s hand. Ando tried hastily to turn around towards the boy to draw him up, but that had been the wrong move. Taka’s hand slipped away from his calf, and all Ando’s hand managed to do was graze his son’s hair.
His wife’s half-crazed cries shot over the early-summer sea as she rushed through the water. I know he’s close, but I can’t reach him! He dived under the surface and moved blindly about but couldn’t manage to make contact with that small hand again. His son had disappeared—for good. His body never surfaced again. Where had it drifted to? All that remained were the few strands of hair that had tangled in Ando’s wedding ring.
At the railroad crossing, the bar finally lifted. Ando was weeping, holding his hand over his mouth to stifle his sobs. The cab driver noticed anyway and kept glancing at him in the rear-view mirror.
Get a hold of yourself, before you totally fall apart!
It was one thing to break down alone in bed, quite another to do it in broad daylight. He wished there were something, anything, he could think about that could bring him back to the here and now. Suddenly he saw Mai Takano’s face in his mind. She was working on a fruit parfait with such enthusiasm that he thought she might lick the dish when she was through. The collar of a white blouse peeked out from the neck of her dress; her left hand rested on her knee. Finished with the parfait, she wiped her lips with a napkin and stood up. He was beginning to see. Sexual fantasies about Mai were the only thing that could draw him out of the abyss of his grief. He realized that he hadn’t fantasized about a woman once since his wife had left him—or rather, since the death of his son. He’d lost all of his former attachment to sex.
The cab jostled up and down until it was straddling the tracks. At the same time, Mai’s body was bobbing up and down in Ando’s mind.
Mai Takano got off the Odakyu Line at Sagami Ohno and went out to the main street, but she couldn’t decide which way to turn. She’d walked this route in reverse two weeks ago, but now she’d lost all sense of direction. When she’d gone to Ryuji’s parents’ house for the wake, it was in a car from the M.E.’s office. This time, making her way there on foot from the station, she hadn’t gone more than a hundred feet or so before she found herself in unfamiliar surroundings. It wasn’t a new experience for her. She always got lost when she tried to get somewhere she’d only been to once.
She had his parents’ phone number, so all she had to do was call. But she was embarrassed to ask his mother to come pick her up. She decided to trust her intuition a little more. She didn’t have far to go, she knew. It was only a ten-minute walk from the station.
Suddenly she saw Ando’s face in her mind. She’d made a dinner date with him for the coming Friday, but now, she wondered if it’d been careless of her to accept. She was starting to regret it. To her, Ando was a friend of Ryuji’s, someone with whom she could share memories of him. If she could get Ando to tell her stories about Ryuji’s college days, maybe she’d understand Ryuji’s impenetrable ideas better. In other words, she had to admit that some calculation had gone into her decision to go out with Ando. But if Ando started entertaining the sort of thoughts a man can have about a woman, things could turn unpleasant. Since entering college, Mai had learned the hard way that men and women wanted vastly different things. What Mai wanted was to keep the relationship on a level where she and the man could provide each other with intellectual stimulation; her boyfriends’ interests, however, always tended to gravitate in another direction. She was forced to turn them down as gently as possible. The trauma her rejections caused them was always more than she could take. They’d send her long apologetic letters which only rubbed salt in her wounds, or they’d call and the first thing out of their mouths would be, “Listen, I’m really sorry about what happened last time.” She didn’t want them to apologize. She wanted them to learn and grow from the experience. She wanted to see a man turn embarrassment into energy and engage in a genuine struggle toward maturity. If the man did that, she’d resume the friendship any time. But she could never be friends with a guy whose psyche remained forever, and unabashedly, that of a child who refused to grow up.
Ryuji was the only man she’d ever been serious about. He wasn’t like the juveniles who surrounded her. The things she and Ryuji had given each other were invaluable. If she could be sure that a relationship with Ando would be like the one she’d had with Ryuji, she’d accept any number of dinner invitations from him. But she knew from experience that the chances weren’t very good. The likelihood, in Japan, of her meeting an independent guy, a man worthy of the name, was close to zero. Still, she couldn’t quite put Ando out of her mind.
Just once, Ryuji had mentioned him to her. The conversation had been about genetic engineering, when suddenly he’d digressed and dropped Ando’s name.
Mai hadn’t ever understood the difference between genes and DNA. Weren’t they just the same thing? Ryuji had set about explaining to her that DNA was the chemical material on which hereditary information was recorded, while a gene was one unit of that nearly infinite amount of hereditary information. In the course of the discussion, he’d mentioned that the technology existed to break DNA down into small segments using restriction enzymes, and to rearrange it. Mai had commented that the process sounded “like a puzzle”. Ryuji had agreed: “Absolutely, it’s like solving a puzzle, or deciphering a code.” From there, the talk had digressed, until Ryuji was telling her a story from his college days.
When Ryuji had learned that the nitty-gritty of DNA technology involved code-breaking, he’d started to play cipher games with his friends in med school, between classes. He told her an interesting anecdote about these games. Many of the students were fascinated by molecular biology, and so, before long, Ryuji had recruited about ten guys to play with. The rules were simple. One person would submit a coded message, and then everybody else would have a certain number of days in which to decipher it. The first one to get it right won. The game tested their math and logic skills, but also required flashes of inspiration. The guys loved it.
The codes varied in difficulty, depending on the skill of the person devising them, but Ryuji had been able to solve most of them. Meanwhile, only one classmate had ever been able to crack any of Ryuji’s codes. Mitsuo Ando. Ryuji told Mai how shocked he’d been when Ando had broken his code.