thought you were a nice girl and that’s why I offered you a room. You’ve only been around these parts for about five months and in that short time you got yourself engaged to Derek Lewis. Now you’ve got the nerve to tell us you’re pregnant, but it ain’t his baby. Well, madam, after your shift you can pack your stuff and get out of my house. I don’t want my Emma associating with the likes of you.’
With a sob Pearl fled the kitchen, and the café. She heard Bernie’s shout, but nothing stopped her.
Tears blinded Pearl’s eyes and she didn’t see Bessie Penfold sweeping the pavement outside her shop until she collided with her.
‘Blimey, girl, watch where you’re going! Gawd, what’s the matter? Has Dolly Dolby been on the warpath again? That woman can’t keep waitresses for more than five minutes.’
Without waiting for a reply, Bessie took Pearl’s arm, ushering her into the shop and locking the door behind them. ‘I’ve seen more girls leave that café than number nineteen buses. Mind you, I’ve never seen one leaving in a state like this. Hold on and I’ll put the kettle on. You look like you could do with a cup of good strong tea.’
Bessie bustled out to the back room, but by the time she returned, Pearl had managed to calm down only a little. She was handed a cup of tea that looked almost black, but found her hands shaking so much that the cup rattled in the saucer.
‘Now then. Do you want to talk about it?’
As she looked into the old woman’s dark eyes, Pearl saw gentleness, wisdom, and with the need to unburden, the words spilled from her mouth, ending with, ‘… and I … I’ve got to leave my room too. Mo is disgusted with me.’
‘Don’t take any notice of Mo Price. She’s no better than she should be. I could tell you a few things about her that might shock you, but I ain’t one to gossip. Right, let’s take this one step at a time. First you need to have a word with Kevin Dolby, but if you ask me he’ll try to squirm out of it.’
‘But he can’t – surely he can’t? Oh God, what will I do?’
‘You could get rid of it.’
Pearl stared at the woman in horror, her hand inadvertently touching her stomach. ‘Oh, no, I couldn’t do that.’
‘Yeah, I suppose it could be a bit risky, but you could have it adopted.’
Pearl frantically shook her head. ‘No, I’d never let my baby be adopted.’
‘You can’t support a kid on your own and, if you ask me, it would be the best thing for it.’
‘No it wouldn’t,’ Pearl cried. ‘I came from an orphanage and know what it’s like. I’ve seen children fostered out and then returned, sometimes traumatised by what happened to them.’
‘I said adopted, not fostered out.’
‘I know, but some of the children put up for adoption were returned too. Can you imagine what it was like for them? They dreamed of being part of a proper family, but some people only want perfection, not a traumatised child who may wet the bed or find it difficult to settle into a normal home.’
‘It wouldn’t be like that for a baby.’
Pearl touched her stomach again. She knew what it was like to be without parents, without love, always wondering why she had been put in an orphanage. Always wondering who her mother was, her father was, and why they’d rejected her. She shook her head again. No matter what, she was determined that her baby wouldn’t suffer the same fate. Her voice was strong as she said, ‘Whether Kevin marries me or not, I’m keeping my baby.’
‘All right, I can see why you feel like that, but it ain’t gonna be easy for you.’
‘I don’t care. I’ll manage somehow.’
‘Yeah, I think you will,’ Bessie said softly. ‘Anyway, for the time being you need a place to stay. I’ve got a spare room and, though it ain’t up to much, you’re welcome to it. If you need a job for a while you can help me out in the shop. It’s getting a bit much for me nowadays, but I won’t be able to pay you much.’
Pearl stared at Bessie Penfold with amazement. There had been no censure, just advice, and now the offer of a room and job. Her eyes filled with tears again at such kindness. ‘Oh, thank you. Thank you so much.’
‘There’s no need to thank me. If you remember, I told you that our paths would cross again and I was right. Now come on, I’ll show you the room and then I’d best open the shop again. I can’t afford to lose customers.’
As Pearl rose to her feet she felt a surge of guilt. She had run out of the café, leaving them in the lurch, and she hoped Madge would be able to cope with the lunchtime rush. God – was she losing her mind? When Dolly found out she was carrying Kevin’s child, she’d go mad. No, she couldn’t go back, she couldn’t face Dolly, and quaked with fear at the thought.
She followed Bessie upstairs, and as the woman led her into a small room, Pearl saw it as a refuge.
Pearl knew she had to go out, but couldn’t face it. It was wonderful of Bessie to give her this room, but the feeling that it was a refuge soon wore off when she realised how close she was to the café and Derek’s stall.
If she waited until the market closed before going to collect her things from Mo’s, at least she’d be able to avoid Derek. But she still had to talk to Kevin, to tell him that he was the father of her baby.
She looked around the room, uncaring of the damp, peeling wallpaper and thick dust on every surface. Bessie had told her to make up the bed, but she was still sitting on the bare mattress, her mind twisting and turning.
An hour passed and Pearl’s head was aching with anxiety when she finally rose to her feet. Bessie had said there was linen in the hall cupboard, and in the back bedroom she would find some blankets or a quilt.
Pearl rummaged, finding a pair of old, yellowing sheets, but when she went into the back room her eyes rounded. It was piled high with clothes, old curtains and blankets, all giving off a musty, damp smell. She gingerly picked up a blanket, surprised to find that it was thick and in good condition. After rooting further, she found a home-made quilt with hexagons of pink and blue flowered material. It was beautiful, the stitching perfect, and someone had obviously spent many hours sewing it together.
With the quilt and another blanket under her arm, Pearl went back to her room. She needed to keep busy, needed something to do, and after making up her bed she tackled the dusting. Finally, with nothing else to do, Pearl nervously went downstairs.
‘It’s about time you showed your face,’ Bessie said. ‘You can’t hide up there for ever and I’ve already had to get rid of Bernard Dolby.’
‘Bernie! Bernie’s been in here? But how did he know where to find me?’
‘Wake up, love. You’re not exactly invisible, and it seems several people saw you running from the café. A quick word with the market traders soon led him here.’
‘What did he say?’
‘Only that Madge hasn’t come back from the doctor’s and they need you back at the café.’
‘I can’t go back. I just can’t.’
‘After what you’ve told me, I don’t blame you, but if you’re determined to keep that bun in the oven you’ll have to face them soon or later. Blimey,’ she added, cackling with pleasure, ‘I’d like to be a fly on the wall when Dolly Dolby finds out she’s gonna be a grandmother. The woman thinks she’s a cut above the rest of us, but I can tell you something that’ll give you a bit of ammunition when you face her.’
Pearl paled at the thought.