events.
‘I feel sick that she’s gone. I got angry and challenged her. By the time the others got home she was all packed. She justified herself to the kids, giving them loads of kisses and promises to be back soon, then carted her bag out of the house and around the corner, where, I presume, her boyfriend picked her up. Everyone’s gutted but Michele says she has to be fair to Baby Three. It’s a mess.’ Though relief had been mixed with the guilt on Michele’s face as she left.
‘These things always are.’ He sighed, sombrely, letting himself down on the grass and propping his back against the next sun lounger. ‘But, for the record, I agree that the new baby’s paternity should be considered. Did Jordan and Natasha know about the pregnancy?’
‘Not till today. If I’d just left well enough alone–’
He moved nearer, closing his hand comfortingly on her shoulder. ‘It’s not your fault! Michele must’ve been formulating her plans. Being pushed into admitting the existence of the boyfriend just gave her the opportunity to put those plans into action. And she must trust you implicitly.’
His reassuring logic eased some of the tightness in Leah’s chest. ‘It sounds as if you’re trying to put a positive spin on me being Deputy Mum while she goes off with her twinkie.’
His eyes softened. ‘No spin. I just know how hard it can be to entrust your child to others, so relying on you is a kind of a compliment.’
Leah snorted. ‘Putting on me.’ Taking another gulp of wine, she welcomed the slight weight alcohol added to her limbs. Nothing about the hideous situation had changed, yet somehow Ronan was steadying her. She tried a smile. ‘You’ve no idea how much I admire parents. I’m awed by the sacrifices you make, staying calm when the shouty little people you’ve created disrupt your every plan, or when they’re upset or ill and your heart’s in tatters for them. But I chose not to be responsible for the next generation.’
‘So,’ he answered mock-solemnly, injecting a lot of Irish into his voice, ‘will I go to Muntsheim and find a shop that will make you a medal and a plinth to stand on while we all admire you for your sacrifice?’
She let out a strangled laugh.
He returned to his normal voice. ‘Are you sure you don’t want me to take Curtis home?’
Leah tipped back her head to drain her glass. ‘I think I’d prefer you both to stay and eat with us. It’ll distract the kids. Alister’s done his best but he’s … upset.’
A shadow passed over Ronan’s face. ‘Humiliated, is my guess. Whatever the state of the marriage, it’s bruising to know that your wife prefers someone else. When the kids learn you’ve been rejected you feel like shit.’
She stole a glance at the hardness that had taken over his face. ‘Sorry if anything I said touched a nerve.’
His grin flashed, dispelling the lines of pain. ‘Don’t worry. Those nerves have been covered by nice tough skin for quite a while now. It’s all in the past.’
The next day, Leah was woken by an incoming text. She groped sleepily for her phone.
Michele: Is everyone OK? How are the children? xxxx
A tide of hurt swept over Leah. She got up and showered, rather than trusting herself to reply. Under the fall of water she practised breathing deeply and counting to ten. She reminded herself that Michele was in a tough place and that she genuinely did have a responsibility to Baby Three as well as to Natasha and Jordan.
When she was dried and dressed she typed a return message.
Leah : It’s v early morning and I haven’t seen them since last night when they were sad and tearful but talking to Curtis as he’s an old hand at parents splitting up. Alister’s gutted and I’m feeling petrified and put upon.
Then she deleted it unsent and, instead, returned a more sensible and conciliatory:
I’m doing my best, and so is Alister, but they’re bound to be upset. Perhaps you could talk to them each day so they’re reassured you haven’t disappeared completely?
To keep the channels of communication as friendly as possible she added an x, whilst muttering, ‘This is not about you, Leah, it’s about them. By early September you’ll have your life back.’
She’d just begun to text Scott to bewail her bloody sister and the bloody holiday when, after a perfunctory knock, Natasha burst through the door into the kitchenette of the annexe.
Fair hair screwed into an untidy ponytail, she looked pale and panicky. ‘I’m so glad you came on holiday with us. You are coming out with us today, aren’t you? If we go somewhere. Are we going? Can Curtis come? Jordan isn’t so horrible when Curtis is there. Will Dad come? Are you staying right to the very very end of the holiday? The very end? You will, won’t you?’
After a big comforting hug, Leah gently turned Natasha around so that she could brush out the tangles from her hair and Natasha couldn’t see the guilt on her face. ‘I don’t know anything about today, sweetie, till I’ve talked to your dad. But I expect to be here as long as you guys are.’
‘Yes! Can we have pain au chocolat for breakfast? And pains aux raisins?’ Natasha clutched Leah’s hand to tow her up to the gîte. She got underfoot, whined when Jordan snapped at her and asked peevish questions about her mum, which Leah, understanding how thoroughly her niece was rattled, did her best to answer without allowing the least impatience to creep into her voice.
Apart from Natasha, breakfast was a near-silent affair. If Natasha was Leah’s shadow, Jordan was more of a black cloud.
Alister was quiet but composed. ‘I think we should go out today. Let exercise take our minds off things.’
‘So long as Leah comes,’ stipulated the shadow.
The black cloud just shrugged.
Leah pinned on a bright smile. ‘Yes, let’s go out and do something fun!’
Both shadow and black cloud looked at her as if she must be kidding.
Nevertheless, an hour later she was driving them all, plus Curtis, to a local lake described in the guidebook as ‘a perfect place for families’ where Alister hired bikes to ride along the cycle track alongside the water’s edge.
Natasha was all sorts of sulky from the first turn of her wheels. ‘It’s far too crowded and I’ve got a stupid bike that’s stuck in one gear.’
At the same time, Alister made an effort to keep the pack together as Jordan and Curtis surged heedlessly ahead. ‘Not so fast, boys!’ The boys, tyres hissing, showed no sign of hearing.
The floundering Natasha was acting like a chicane, obliging other cyclists to ring their bells and swerve around her. Leah cast around for a way to improve the situation. ‘I don’t mind if you swap bikes with me. I can’t get excited about anything without an engine, anyway.’
‘But yours has those stupid brakes.’ Natasha slapped furiously at her gear lever.
‘They’re easy once you get used to them. You just pedal backwards instead of the brakes being on the handlebars.’ Leah back-pedalled to demonstrate how the wheels were slowed.
Natasha was in no mood to be mollified. ‘How come Jordan and Curtis have scored 21-gear trail bikes? It’s not fair.’ She glared after the boys.
Alister shouted again, ‘Jordan! Curtis!’ as their back views disappeared around the next curve.
‘You go after them. I’ll