down at the side of Colin’s car, taking a phone call. She had to admit, she didn’t look a total lush. Ultra slim with a sleek bob and a dark business suit, Molly couldn’t help thinking she’d been traded in for a more efficient model. Because although Molly hadn’t grilled Colin for details, that hadn’t stopped her imagining who the other woman was, how much more beautiful and talented she must be. In some ways, that she looked so normal made her feel worse; it was easier to think of her as some evil temptress intent on wrecking their marriage.
Molly also discovered that day why Colin wasn’t overly concerned about the house and its contents. Not even trying to conceal his excitement, he told Molly he was relocating to the company’s head office in New York – presumably with her. When he told Molly it was a dream come true, she had swallowed with difficulty. It was a dream he had never shared with her.
In the kitchen now, Molly glanced at the oversized retro clock hanging on the wall, willing time to speed up. Now that she was going, she wanted to get on with it. More for something to do than a desire for caffeine, she decided to make herself a coffee. She’d never got the hang of the fancy coffee maker Colin had insisted on buying despite its astronomical price. Still, it had outlived her marriage, she thought savagely as she watched the thick black liquid trickle into a cup.
Carrying it through to the hall Molly studied her reflection in the hall mirror.
On the surface, she looked more or less the same. Her auburn hair was longer than usual and the shadows beneath her large, dark brown eyes were certainly more pronounced. But inside, Molly knew she was different. Her self-esteem had as good as packed its bag and left with Colin.
Miserable introspection had been her constant companion these last few weeks and she knew her confidence had vanished. Anger, sadness, resentment all vied for each other as she tried to work out how she had got it so wrong. Each time she thought she had some sort of handle on her emotions, she veered another way until now there was just emptiness.
Taking a deep breath, she whispered her mantra to her reflection; I’ll be fine.
She wasn’t sure what would come next, it was almost impossible to contemplate. Her marriage may be over but so much of her identity was connected to Colin. It was odd to be considering a future without him. Occasional moments of optimism surfaced – hope for what the future might bring – but those moments were eclipsed just as quickly by fear.
At times anxiety and regret threatened to spill over but she forced them back down, determined not to give them a voice in her head. Her life with Colin had been dismantled and now she had to somehow reassemble her life on her own.
The walls had started to close in on her and she knew she had to make a decision. Selling the house was the only option – she certainly couldn’t stay here, not now. The house was ready. Colin’s penchant for minimalism had ensured Phil Spencer’s top tip for selling – depersonalise and declutter – had been easy to achieve. No doubt a few eyebrows would be raised tomorrow when a For Sale sign was hammered into the small patch of clipped grass that constituted their front garden. There had been something liberating about handing over a set of keys to the estate agent’s, entrusting them with the viewings. The young estate agent had all but rubbed his hands together when she’d given him the instruction, no doubt anticipating his commission thanks to the recently published league table which had put their house in the catchment area for one of the best performing schools in the country.
Molly checked, perhaps for the fiftieth time that day, her holdall sitting by the front door ready to go tomorrow. Hopefully she’d remembered everything she needed for the next few weeks. Now that her temping job had ended, she was free to embark on her summer escape, as she had taken to calling it.
A whole summer lay ahead of her and apart from selling the house she had made no other decisions. Something about it felt seismic, a sense she was on the cusp of change. This time tomorrow she’d be at West Sands Guest House and she couldn’t wait.
It may have been June and technically summer but that had never stopped the clouds sweeping in from the Atlantic and unleashing their load onto the west of Scotland and today was no different. Molly hated motorway driving, even more so in wet conditions, and her hands gripped the steering wheel tightly as she concentrated on the road ahead. Huddled in her faithful little red Ford, she stayed in the slow lane, silently cursing every time a lorry thundered by and sent spray lashing onto her window screen.
Earlier that morning she had slipped out of the house, locked the front door and driven out of the quiet cul-de-sac without looking back. In a few hours she’d be at West Sands Guest House in St Andrews and once again, she thanked her lucky stars the way things had worked out.
Molly had resisted running to her parents no matter how effusive she knew their welcome would be – that was assuming they even had room for her in their bijou apartment overlooking Palmira’s golf course which was proving to be a very popular destination for friends and family to visit.
Molly’s parents had waited for her to finish university before selling the family home in Glasgow where Molly had grown up and retiring to Portugal. Molly had in effect gone from living with her parents to living with Colin. This was her first time flying-solo as it were – albeit not by choice – and she needed to prove to herself as well as to them that she could stand on her own two feet.
She couldn’t imagine anything sadder than having your divorced daughter barge in on your well-earned retirement. The thought of facing them, of seeing the disappointment in their faces was something she was quite willing to delay. Her fear was that she would somehow simply crumple and lose herself under their love and attention.
The truth was, Molly felt ashamed. Her happily married and loving parents would somehow reinforce her guilt and shame that she had failed to make her marriage work. She didn’t want the fretting and the looks of concern – disrupting their lives would only make her feel worse.
Instead Molly had turned to her brother Stuart. After leaving the family home in Glasgow, he had completed his PhD at Oxford University and had then taken a job lecturing history at Manchester University.
Imparting the news of Colin’s affair had produced a few choice expletives from her usually softly spoken brother before he shared his own news which had unexpectedly provided her with a welcome reprieve from agonising about her future – for the next few weeks anyway.
An old friend from his Oxford days had recently started work at St Andrews University, and had contacted Stuart regarding a job lecturing history and he had jumped at the chance. When they were younger, Molly and Stuart had spent a few holidays in St Andrews, mainly to accommodate their parents’ love of golf and Molly knew Stuart had always coveted a move to Scotland’s oldest university. He and his wife, Anna had decided to up sticks and move their family from Manchester to Scotland. Anna worked as a freelance software developer and after having a difficult year of her own, was happy to start afresh in the small Scottish town.
His friend from Oxford, Ben Matthews, had recently settled in the town himself and as luck would have it, Ben’s wife ran a guest house which they could have until they found somewhere of their own to live.
‘Come and stay with us,’ he said simply.
Memories of those idyllic holidays flickered happily through Molly’s mind. Carefree days before grown-up worries of relationships, careers and, in her case, divorces. Frankly, it sounded so perfect she could have wept but she sought reassurance she wouldn’t be in the way.
‘In the way? Are you kidding? We can always do with an extra pair of hands and the kids would love to see you. There’s loads of room and Mum and Dad will be coming for some of the time too.’
Knowing her parents would be there had clinched it for Molly. Stuart and the family would provide a welcome distraction and ensure she wasn’t the sole focus of their attention and hopefully by the time she saw them, she’d be feeling stronger.
Molly