answer, my mind too focused on reaching the top of the hill. Luckily, the gritters had been out or it would have been virtually impossible. Finally reaching the top, I felt triumphant; a few minutes more and we’d be at the hospital, staring in awe at our precious baby as he or she appeared on the screen, as if by magic. If it was a girl, I just knew she’d have tanned skin like her mother and bright-green eyes like my own.
‘Summer,’ I declared from nowhere. ‘If it’s a girl, can we call her Summer?’ The thought had literally jumped into my mind, a complete contrast with the bitter chill and frosted glass that wrapped itself around us.
‘I like Summer,’ agreed Alice, her face a mask of anticipatory excitement. I smiled broadly back at her, before placing my hand on top of her bump, the feel of it still unbelievable after so many years of daydreaming about it. As if she knew we were discussing her, Summer gave my hand a little kick, making me jump. I laughed through the tears that had pooled into my eyes and, in that moment, I knew we were indeed having a little girl. ‘Summer it is th…’
‘Liam, watch out!’ Alice began to scream and, for a split second, I couldn’t understand why.
‘What’s happening?’
As I shouted out to her, the realisation hit me, making me tightly grab hold of the steering wheel, which suddenly felt oiled underneath my grasp, like somebody had detached it from its wheels. As we skidded down the hill, car horns blasted in my ears and the screeching of tyres made my teeth clench as I thrust my foot down on the brake so it was practically touching the floor. Without warning, the back end of the car swivelled around so we were skidding sideways, all the time gaining momentum. The panic rose up within me, making me practically blind as I wrestled with the wheel. We plummeted towards cars on the other side of the road, their bonnets covered in snow, making it difficult to see anything other than a stark brightness. Alice began to cry, and my mind clouded over, a scrambled mess of emotion – any logic momentarily erased.
Then there was an almighty bang! … and everything went black.
***
‘Alice…’
I croaked out her name into the darkness, the feel of it heavy on my tongue as I forced my eyelids to open. Noises from outside washed over me, their sounds mingling together as I blinked away the fug from my brain and tried to turn my head towards her. But I couldn’t, because a sharp bolt of pain suddenly sliced through my shoulder and arm, causing me to scream out through clenched teeth. Hot tears filled my eyes and I bit down hard on my lip, my stomach flipping with sickness and my head pounding like nothing I had ever felt before.
‘What’s happening?’ Confused, I mumbled to myself rather than anyone else. I vaguely remembered the panic, the other cars; the loud bang as everything turned black.
‘Don’t move, help is on the way.’
Somebody was stood by the closed window. I could see their outline in my peripheral vision as their voice swam towards me, almost dreamlike, like it belonged in another world.
‘Liam?’
Alice’s fractured voice sliced through the fog of my brain, snapping me out of my stupor. Instinctively, I turned my head to look at her, this time not feeling the pain from my arm, which I knew was dangling down at the side of me.
‘Alice… speak to me.’ I choked out the words as I inwardly begged her to be all right. But I knew she wasn’t. The other car had collided with the passenger side, meaning Alice had taken the full impact. Her head lolled forwards, her chin practically touching her chest as she blinked lazily, her mouth wide open, allowing trickles of blood to fall down from the corner of her mouth. The crushed metal of the car had embedded itself into her, like it had become an extension of Alice herself.
‘The baby,’ she whispered, the pain in her voice almost tangible.
‘Shhh,’ I soothed as I tried to reach out to her, to touch her face, to tell her that everything was going to be okay.
I wanted to tell her that she needn’t worry because we were going to have our happy ending after all. It didn’t matter about the accident because we would soon see our daughter on the monitor at the hospital. And in a few months, she would be born, our precious little miracle with dark skin and green eyes. On our first outing as a family, we would go to the seaside and build sandcastles, put Summer’s tiny feet in the sand and watch her squeal in delight as Alice and I ate the crab sticks that everyone else thought were disgusting. At Christmastime, we would drive through Blackpool, pointing up at the twinkling lights and eating our weight in candy floss as Summer slept peacefully in the back, snuggled up in a warm blanket. I wanted to tell Alice that we would do all of those things because nothing was going to change. Nothing was going to change because she was finally having our baby and we had wanted this moment for ever and it simply couldn’t be taken away from us now.
I wanted to say it all, but I couldn’t speak… and I couldn’t touch her because my arm had snapped in two.
‘Please,’ I begged, instead, ‘stay with me, Alice. I love you.’
She slowly cast her eyes onto me, holding my gaze, her own eyes wide as if she knew that once they closed it would be for ever.
‘She’s kicking.’ Her voice was barely a whisper but a flicker of a smile danced on her lips as she spoke. ‘Make them save her, Liam,’ she rasped. ‘I don’t care about me.’
‘No, Alice, please.’ The strangled pain in my voice echoed around the insides of the car, which already smelt like death. I was vaguely aware of the sirens, the men who were cutting open the roof and telling me that they were going to get us out of there.
‘Promise me.’ She choked, her spirit battling to stay in her body.
And I knew, I knew that the second I nodded my head, it would all be over.
I didn’t want to nod, but I knew I had to… for Alice.
‘Okay…’ I whispered, ‘I promise you.’
And just like that… Alice died.
Lana, 3.00 pm
The noise around me is deafening: telephones ringing, people shouting, music blaring. The late-afternoon sun is piercing through the window and threatening to burn out my eyeballs.
‘I’m so sorry to hear that, Liam.’
I don’t know what else to say and I’m too terrified to ask if the baby lived. I know it is possible for a baby at twenty-four weeks to survive, but how soon does that unborn baby need to be removed from its dead mother? The thought doesn’t even bear thinking about. I shiver involuntary and rub at my eyes. It is then that I remember Liam has a child. Elliott, I think he said. So the baby must have lived, but it was a boy? The thought momentarily fills me with joy, until I remember that Liam has spoken about his new wife, Jessica. Could Elliott be their child? I want to ask the questions but I’m suddenly terrified of the answers.
‘That’d better be a sale because you’ve been on that call for nearly thirty minutes now,’ Damien is snarling in my ear.
His rancid breath sweeps up my nostrils and makes me choke. I cover the mouthpiece with my hand. ‘I’m doing the best I can.’
‘Well, why aren’t they giving you their credit card yet?’ His sarcastic tone makes everyone look round. I realise my hands are clammy.
‘Commitment issues,’ I offer. If he notices my voice catch in my throat, he doesn’t say.
‘Well, use your alternative closes on them,’ he demands, before sauntering off back to his desk.
‘Liam, I’m sorry, are you still there?’ I kind of hope he’s not. Why did I get myself involved in this?
‘Your boss is kind of a wanker.’
I laugh despite the situation. ‘He’s definitely a wanker.’
‘You