to Chester’s kindness, she gambled it away. Alberta played at the high-stakes tiddlywinks tables at the casinos of Monte Carlo. Within a week the woman had lost everything she had. Thousands upon thousands of pounds. Next she sneaked into her brother’s study and pinched his chequebook. Forging his signature, Alberta secretly stole all the money out of Chester’s bank account. Within days she had lost her brother’s money too. Every last penny. The family was plunged into terrible debt, from which it was impossible to recover.
As a result, Chester was forced to sell all the possessions he possibly could. Antiques, paintings, fur coats, even his beloved wife’s diamond engagement ring, all went to auction houses so Lord Saxby could fight to keep the family home. A home that had been in the Saxby family for centuries. Like any great house, Saxby Hall employed an army of staff to keep it running – a cook, a gardener, a nanny, a chauffeur and a platoon of maids. However, with all the money squandered by Alberta, they simply couldn’t be paid any more. The bank demanded they all be fired immediately. So with a heavy heart Chester had to let them go.
Except one. The ancient butler, Gibbon.
Lord Saxby tried to give Gibbon his notice a dozen times or more. However, the servant was so old, just short of a hundred, that he had become very deaf and blind. As a result it was impossible to tell him to go. Even if you shouted right into his ear, the poor old soul wouldn’t hear a thing. Gibbon had worked for the Saxbys for generations. He had been in service for them for so long, he had become part of the family. Chester had grown up with Gibbon looking after him, and loved him dearly, like he was an eccentric old uncle. Secretly he was overjoyed that Gibbon stayed at the house, not least because he was sure the ancient butler had nowhere else to go.
So Gibbon continued to roam Saxby Hall carrying on with his duties, though in a totally topsy-turvy way. Gibbon would:
– Mow the carpet with a lawnmower.
– Bring in a tray piled high with dirty socks and announce, “Afternoon tea, m’lord.”
– Iron the plants.
– Water the sofa.
– Bang a gong in the middle of the night to announce, “Dinner is served.”
– Serve a boiled billiards ball in an egg cup at breakfast.
– Polish the grass.
– Boil your shoes.
– Pick up the lampshade and say “Saxby Ball, who is speaking please?” as if it was a telephone.
– Take the rug for a walk.
– Put the chicken to roast in the boot of the Rolls Royce.
Stella’s mother and father worked tirelessly, day and night, to care for the house and grounds, but Saxby Hall was just too big for them. Inevitably it fell into disrepair. Soon they had a huge house they couldn’t afford to heat or light, and an old Rolls Royce they could barely afford to run. Through his considerable charm Chester, now Lord Saxby, just managed to keep the angry bank manager in London at bay.
When Stella was born he was determined that his daughter would one day inherit this great house, as he had from his father. Of course his sister Alberta had shown she couldn’t be trusted with Saxby Hall, so Chester made sure his wishes were crystal clear in his will.
The Will of Lord Saxby of Saxby Hall.
I, Lord Chester Mandrake Saxby, do hereby leave the family home, Saxby Hall, to my daughter Stella Amber Saxby. In the event of Stella’s untimely passing, the house should be sold and all the money given to the poor. It is my express wish that my sister, Alberta Hettie Dorothea Pansy Colin Saxby, should not inherit the house, as she will only gamble it away playing tiddlywinks. To ensure this does not happen, the deeds of ownership to Saxby Hall have been concealed in the house, somewhere my sister Alberta will never ever find them.
Signed the day of Monday 1st of January 1921
Lord Chester Mandrake Saxby
Lord Saxby kept this will top secret from his sister. If she ever read it, it would be sure to plunge her into a terrible rage.
The Great Bavarian Mountain Owl
Now how did Aunt Alberta come to have a Great Bavarian Mountain Owl as a pet, I hear you ask. To answer that, I’ll need to take you back in time once more, to before young Stella was born.
Soon after Alberta had lost all the family’s money at the tiddlywinks tables of Monte Carlo, Europe was thrust into war. Chester joined the army as an officer, and was awarded a chestful of medals for his bravery on the battlefields of France. Meanwhile his sister also enlisted, and found herself fighting in the forests of Bavaria as a machine-gunner. Unusually for someone who was British, she chose to fight on the German side. Alberta’s only reason was that she ‘preferred the German uniforms’. She felt she looked smokin’ hot in one of the German army’s spiked helmets, called Pickelhauben. You can judge for yourselves…
One thing she had often done as a child was to steal rare birds’ eggs. Alberta knew that the Great Bavarian Mountain Owl was one of the rarest birds in the world. So when she spotted one nesting in the forest where she was posted she climbed the tree and stole the egg out of its nest. Then she sat on it until it hatched, and named the little owlet ‘Wagner’, after her favourite German composer.*
The war ended soon after. Alberta had been fighting for the losing side, and the prospect of being sent to a prisoner-of-war camp did not appeal. So she stole a Zeppelin, one of the huge German military airships. With the little owlet Wagner safely under her arm, she took to the air. At first all went well, she piloted the Zeppelin hundreds