And perhaps that was for the best. Lily had become pregnant by design – and in agreement with friends. She had way more to answer for than Susan had.
Pam Perry didn’t know the half. Innocently, she exclaimed, ‘Last week? Omigod, Susan. This is awful. What was she thinking?’ When Susan simply gave her a look, she said, ‘What are you going to do?’
‘I’m trying to figure that out.’
‘She’s keeping the baby? Of course she is. Lily loves kids, and there’s no way you’d make her abort it. So the guy has to come forward,’ Pam decided. ‘You have to find out who he is.’ When Susan said nothing, she added, ‘Well, some guy made this happen.’
‘Obviously,’ Susan replied, ‘but does his name matter?’
‘Absolutely.’
‘Wrong. It’s a woman’s body, a woman’s baby.’
‘You say that because you’re a single mom.’
‘I say it because I’m a realist,’ Susan insisted. ‘Even moms in traditional families do the brunt of the child-care. The buck stops here.’
‘Some of us see it differently,’ Pam argued. ‘The father has to share the responsibility.’
‘Maybe in an ideal world,’ Susan conceded. ‘You’re lucky, Pam. Not only is your husband a gem, but he’s from a wellknown family. Perrys don’t divorce, and they don’t go broke. But Tanner doesn’t change diapers or fold laundry or make school lunches, and that drives you nuts. Remember the time you and Tanner both had the flu? Who was crawling out of bed to take care of Abby?’
There was more to the story, of course. Pam did all of those things without complaint, though she could certainly afford a maid. But with one child and no other full-time job, these chores helped define her.
‘So, basically, you’re having another child yourself,’ Pam said. ‘Isn’t that the bottom line?’
Susan considered it, pressed her lips together, nodded.
‘You can’t do that,’ Pam argued. ‘You know the work. You have a whole other job now that is very demanding.’
‘What would you have me do?’ Susan asked. Frustrated, she rubbed her forehead with her fingertips. ‘She wants the baby, Pam. She’s heard the heartbeat. She knows the options. She wants the baby.’
‘And you’ll just let her have it?’
‘What can I do? Put yourself in my shoes. This has happened – past tense. It’s done. Maybe you can do better and talk with your daughter about not getting pregnant.’ There it was; the closest Susan could come to disclosing what she knew.
Pam frowned at the papers on the desk, then at Susan. ‘This is what you three were talking about at the barn last week. You told them. Why couldn’t you tell me?’
Susan felt another stab of anger. At Lily for getting pregnant? At Abby for outing her? At Pam for playing the victim? ‘They already knew,’ she explained. ‘Mary Kate had told Kate, and Jess had told Sunny, but clearly Abby hadn’t said anything to you, or you would have mentioned it. Has she yet?’
Pam raised her chin. ‘No, but she considers Lily one of her closest friends. She probably feels it wouldn’t be loyal.’
‘Loyal? Abby was the one who shouted it all over school!’ Pam looked startled, but Susan couldn’t stop. If Pam wanted to be a friend, she had to hear this. ‘Abby blurted it out yesterday in the hall filled with kids, so maybe you should be talking with her, not with me. But those moms who called you this morning didn’t tell you that, did they?’
‘No,’ Pam said, subdued. ‘They heard rumor. They know we’re friends, and since I’m on the School Board, they thought they were killing two birds with one stone.’
Susan felt a hitch at mention of the School Board. It had seven members. All were elected; most had served for years. At thirty-nine, Pam was the baby of the group, elected largely because of her name. The closest to her in age was the Board chair, Hillary Dunn, at fifty-five. The other five members were men, four of whom were particularly resistant to change. Susan had had to argue for hours, working them individually and as a group, before they gave the school clinic a green light.
They would all be upset when they learned Lily was pregnant. And when they heard about the other two girls?
But first things first. Susan was tempted to ask Pam the names of those who had called – only she could guess. Zaganack was a close community. Its members had a good thing going with Perry & Cass and knew it, and while some were open to innovation, others believed that you didn’t tamper with the status quo. Those were the ones who phoned Susan to complain about the slightest curriculum change. They were the ones who would have phoned Pam.
‘Were they calling to complain?’ Susan asked.
‘Mostly to know if it was true.’
‘And then to complain.’ When Pam didn’t deny it, she asked, ‘What did you tell them?’
‘I said I’d check it out – I tried to make light of it. When all three carried on, I said that if it was true, it was a private matter. Only it isn’t, Susan. This could really screw things up. For starters, there’s the PC Wool Mother’s Day promotion. Boy, does that take on new meaning. Lily will be big as a house.’
Susan had thought this herself, but it was offensive coming from Pam. ‘Were you planning to photograph her in profile for the catalogue cover?’
‘You know what I mean.’
‘No, I don’t. Our clients don’t have to know about Lily. What she does with her life has nothing to do with PC Wool.’
‘She knits for us.’
‘So do Mary Kate, Abby and Jess.’
‘They’re not pregnant,’ Pam pointed out.
Tell her, that little voice in Susan cried. Tell her out of friendship and concern. But her loyalty was to Kate and Sunny. Pam was a latecomer to the group and, given her role as a Perry, a sporadic member. That said, when she was with them, she was a devoted friend. The group gave her focus, which she craved. She loved belonging, which added to the guilt Susan felt in keeping silent.
‘What should I tell Tanner?’ Pam asked. ‘He’ll want to know who the father is.’
‘Tell him I don’t know.’
‘Hey,’ she drawled, ‘if it’s hard for me to believe that, he never will. Same with the School Board. They’ll be looking for a scapegoat when they hear about this. The principal’s daughter? I mean, it really puts me in a bad place. I recused myself when it came to voting on you for this job, but talk about conflict of interest. What am I supposed to do now?’
Wait till she hears about the others, Susan thought, and her uneasiness grew. ‘Buy me some time?’ she begged. ‘That’s all I ask. A little time.’
But Pam was no sooner out the door when Susan’s assistant, Rebecca, appeared. A capable woman with thick white hair, she was the school’s resident grandmother. ‘Dr Correlli’s on his way over. He asked if you had a few minutes to talk. I tried to tell him you were scheduled to observe sophomore English, but he said it was urgent.’ She was apologetic. ‘I’m sorry. Have you told him yet?’
‘Not me,’ Susan murmured, and tried to gear up, but there was only one thing she could imagine the superintendent wanted to discuss.
Phillip Correlli was a stocky man who often ran with the cross-country team to try to lose weight. Having risen through the ranks as Susan had, albeit in a different school system, he liked being with kids. Even more, he liked turning life’s trials into lessons – the one for the cross-country team being that if you ate badly, you gained weight.
He appeared