Then my neighbour Yakob said:
‘Speak to us about defeat.’
And he answered:
* * *
Does a leaf, when it falls from the tree in winter, feel defeated by the cold?
The tree says to the leaf: ‘That’s the cycle of life. You may think you’re going to die, but you live on in me. It’s thanks to you that I’m alive, because I can breathe. It’s also thanks to you that I have felt loved, because I was able to give shade to the weary traveller. Your sap is in my sap; we are one thing.’
Does a man who spent years preparing to climb the highest mountain in the world feel defeated when, on reaching that mountain, he discovers that nature has cloaked the summit in storm clouds? The man says to the mountain: ‘You don’t want me this time, but the weather will change and, one day, I will make it to the top. Meanwhile, you’ll still be here waiting for me.’
Does a young man, rejected by his first love, declare that love does not exist? The young man says to himself: ‘I’ll find someone better able to understand what I feel. And then I will be happy for the rest of my days.’
In the cycle of nature there is no such thing as victory or defeat: there is only movement.
The winter struggles to reign supreme, but, in the end, it is obliged to accept spring’s victory, which brings with it flowers and happiness.
The summer would like to make its warm days last for ever, because it believes that warmth is good for the Earth, but, in the end, it has to accept the arrival of autumn, which will allow the Earth to rest.
The gazelle eats the grass and is devoured by the lion. It isn’t a matter of who is the strongest, but God’s way of showing us the cycle of death and resurrection.
And within that cycle there are neither winners nor losers, there are only stages that must be gone through. When the human heart understands this, it is free and able to accept difficult times and not be deceived by moments of glory.
Both will pass. One will succeed the other. And the cycle will continue until we liberate ourselves from the flesh and find the Divine Energy.
Therefore, when the fighter is in the arena – whether by his own choice or because unfathomable destiny has placed him there – may his spirit be filled with joy at the prospect of the fight ahead. If he holds on to his dignity and his honour, then, even if he loses the fight, he will never be defeated, because his soul will remain intact.
And he will blame no one for what is happening to him. Ever since he fell in love for the first time and was rejected, he has known that this did not put an end to his ability to love. What is true in love is also true in war.
Losing a battle or losing everything we thought we possessed will bring us moments of sadness, but when those moments pass we will discover the hidden strength that exists in each of us, a strength that will surprise us and increase our self-respect.
We will look around and say to ourselves: ‘I survived.’ And we will be cheered by our words.
Only those who fail to recognise that inner strength will say ‘I lost’, and be sad.
Others, even though they are suffering because they were defeated and feel humiliated by the things the winners are saying about them, will allow themselves to shed a few tears, but never succumb to self-pity. They know that this is merely a pause in the fighting and that, for the moment, they are at a disadvantage.
They listen to the beating of their own heart. They’re aware of being tense and afraid. They consider their life and discover that, despite the fear, their faith is still alive in their soul, driving them onward.
They try to work out what they did wrong and what they did right. They take advantage of this moment of defeat to rest, heal their wounds, devise new strategies and equip themselves better.
Then the day dawns when a new battle knocks on their door. They are still afraid, but they have to act – either that or remain for ever lying on the ground. They get up and face their opponent, remembering the suffering they have endured and which they no longer wish to endure.
Their previous defeat means that this time they must win, because they don’t want to suffer the same pain again.
But if victory is not theirs this time, it will be the next time. And if not the next time, then the time after that. The important thing is to get back on your feet.
Only he who gives up is defeated. Everyone else is victorious.
And the day will come when those difficult moments are merely stories to be told proudly to those who will listen, and they will listen respectfully and learn three important things:
Wait patiently for the right moment to act.
Do not let the next opportunity slip by you.
Take pride in your scars.
Scars are medals branded on the flesh, and your enemies will be frightened by them because they are proof of your long experience of battle. Often this will lead them to seek dialogue and to avoid conflict.
Scars speak more loudly than the sword that caused them.
‘Describe the defeated ones,’ asked a merchant, when he saw that the Copt had finished speaking.
And he answered:
* * *
The defeated are those who never fail.
Defeat means that we lose a particular battle or war. Failure does not allow us to go on fighting.
Defeat comes when we fail to get something we very much want. Failure does not allow us to dream. Its motto is: ‘Expect nothing and you won’t be disappointed.’
Defeat ends when we launch into another battle. Failure has no end: it is a lifetime choice.
Defeat is for those who, despite their fears, live with enthusiasm and faith.
Defeat is for the valiant. Only they will know the honour of losing and the joy of winning.
I am not here to tell you that defeat is part of life: we all know that. Only the defeated know Love. Because it is in the realm of love that we fight our first battles – and generally lose.
I am here to tell you that there are people who have never been defeated.
They are the ones who never fought.
They managed to avoid scars, humiliations, feelings of helplessness, as well as those moments when even warriors doubt the existence of God.
Such people can say with pride: ‘I never lost a battle.’ On the other hand, they will never be able to say: ‘I won a battle.’
Not that they care. They live in a universe in which they believe they are invulnerable; they close their eyes to injustices and to suffering; they feel safe because they do not have to deal with the daily challenges faced by those who risk stepping out beyond their own boundaries.
They have never heard the words ‘Goodbye’ or ‘I’ve come back. Embrace me with the fervour of someone who, having lost me, has found me again.’
Those who were never defeated seem happy and superior, masters of a truth they never had to lift a finger to achieve. They are always on the side of the strong. They’re like hyenas, who only eat the leavings of lions.
They teach their children: ‘Don’t get