Gemma Fox

Caught in the Act


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not have time for people?’

      Jan bristled. ‘I do have time for people,’ she protested. ‘I just don’t have time for the sort you wake up with in the morning. I lived with people and I went out with guys at college. And then about ten years ago I was part of a group that set up workshops in India and more recently in Africa. They’re both run cooperatively and they print and export fabric. It has re ally taken off and that takes up a lot of my time and energy, and to be honest I never seem to have the time for all that, you know, bunny-slippers and kissy-face stuff. I’ve got two Burmese cats called Lucifer and Diablo, and yes, before you say anything, yes, they are my surrogate children and yes, I do spoil them. And that’s about it re ally.’

      ‘Sounds a bit dull,’ Netty growled. ‘I like a man in my life. I’ve always enjoyed the exquisite pain that only a re ally bad relationship can bring.’

      Jan grinned. ‘I’ve spent a lot of time in India and the Far East, sourcing silk and fabrics, and trust me, when it comes to pain, there’s nothing beats amoebic dysentery.’

      Netty snorted.

      ‘Right,’ said Jan, with barely a pause for breath, ‘now then, Mr Can’t-get-a-Word-in-Edgeways boy. Your shout. Off you go. Let’s have it.’

      They all looked at Adie, who held up his hands in surrender. ‘OK, I’m not fighting it, I’ll come quietly. I went to uni straight from school. Got a pretty shitty degree and then I didn’t re ally know what I wanted to do so I went travelling and did all sorts of stuff. I went to Australia, Bali; worked in bars, played guitar, grew my hair, smoked a lot of dope.’ He laughed. ‘And I suppose I finally grew up. While I was in Thailand I met someone, we travelled together for a couple of years and then when we came back we decided to try and give it a go and we’ve been together ever since—I suppose that must be nearly fifteen years or so now.’

      ‘Someone?’ asked Jan pointedly.

      Adie nodded. ‘Yup. We bought a re ally nice place in Tunbridge Wells. I own a shop—I sell clothes—and…’

      Carol was aware that they were all hanging on his every word now.

      ‘And you’re happy?’ said Netty suspiciously.

      He grinned. ‘Blissfully, and before you make any kind of sarky remark about it, no one is more surprised than me.’

      Jan made a funny little noise in the back of her throat that might have been disbelief but could equally well have been disgust.

      ‘re ally?’ said Carol.

      He nodded. ‘Yes, re ally. My partner is a GP and I can feel all sorts of middle-aged angst creeping up on me. I’ve started writing letters to the broadsheets complaining about young people, falling moral standards and litter in the street.’

      ‘Oh my God, you’ve grown up to be Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells,’ said Carol with a giggle.

      He grinned. ‘Not exactly. Actually, I’ve grown up to be Gay of Tunbridge Wells. My partner, Mike, said that if I get any more conservative he’s going to buy me driving gloves and an Argyll sweater for Christmas.’

      Carol looked at him. There was a brief moment when the waves parted, and then the sea closed back over the gap with no great sense of revelation, nor anything unexpected being revealed, just an acceptance of what had—at some level—always been obvious.

      ‘How was it at the pub?’ Diana was in the dining room, hunched over a box of what looked like Christmas decorations, her whereabouts signposted from the main hall by a number of cards and home-made banners, that read: ‘BELVEDERE SCHOOL REUNION—THIS WAY’ in a confident bold italic hand that suggested they had been written by someone with a lot of experience at impromptu crowd direction.

      ‘Great, you should have come. We ate, we drank, we were merry, but Carol here had a fit of conscience and decided it was too cruel to leave you with all the work, and actually she is most probably right. Here, give me that bunting,’ said Adie. Grabbing one end, he clambered up onto a stepladder. ‘Have you got any drawing pins?’

      ‘Well, of course I have,’ Diana said, sounding terribly affronted.

      Carol laughed; as if Diana would be the kind of event planner who would arrive without every eventuality covered. It felt so good to be back with them all; why had they left it so long before meeting up? So many years…too many years.

      ‘Why didn’t you ask us to help you with all this? We wouldn’t have minded,’ said Netty, pulling out a huge bag of balloons and a thing that looked like a cardboard bicycle pump from one of the boxes. ‘Do these things actually work?’ she said to no one in particular, as she tipped the balloons out in a heap onto the table and then pumped the tube thing furiously into mid-air.

      ‘No, but they make a great noise if you put your finger over the end,’ said Adie from the top of the stepladder. ‘Like a big wet fart.’

      ‘Oh well, that’s re ally helpful,’ growled Netty.

      ‘Here,’ said Jan, ‘let me,’ and started to stretch the balloons vigorously with all the zeal of a woman on a mission.

      Diana seemed a bit stunned by their manic activity. ‘Are you sure you don’t mind?’

      ‘Come off it, you can’t do it all on your own,’ Carol snorted. ‘And besides, you asked me to pitch in, I seem to remember.’

      But before she could say anything else, Adie said, ‘Yeah, Di, lighten up. We’re all more than happy to muck in, aren’t we, folks?’

      Everyone looked at him and pulled faces and groaned jokingly. Adie scowled, but unperturbed, unrolled a great string of flags that spelled out welcome in a dozen different languages.

      Carol took hold of the cord of the flags and pulled it across the room, wondering how likely it was that she could convince them that any enquiry about who else had arrived since they had been down the pub was purely casual. Just as she was about to speak Jan threw down the balloon she had been torturing and snapped, ‘You’re always so fucking flippant, aren’t you, Adie? Mr Quickwit. So sure of yourself.’

      Everyone looked at her; he hadn’t said anything for the best part of two minutes.

      Adie was stunned. ‘What on earth is the matter with you?’ he said gently.

      Jan flipped a stray hand across her face as if swatting away a fly, her eyes bright with tears. ‘Nothing,’ she growled crossly. ‘Nothing at bloody all. I’m just pissed off with you always assuming you’re master of ceremonies, Mr I’m so bloody funny.’

      Carol stared at her.

      ‘I don’t know what you mean,’ Adie began, looking bemused.

      Jan sighed. ‘Why am I not surprised?’

      ‘Hello, anyone home?’ called a loud male voice from out in the hallway, diverting everyone’s attention away from Jan. Seconds later a vaguely familiar face appeared round the door and then there was another; two more of the backstage crew appeared in the doorway as Diana headed off to greet the first two, and then there was another and another.

      Callista Haze and George Bearman were amongst the flurry of newcomers, and all at once it seemed as if there was a roomful of people, the round of hellos and whoops taking the attention away from Jan, who picked up another balloon.

      ‘You sure you’re all right?’ Carol said in an undertone. ‘I mean, we all know how frustrating balloon-blowing can be.’

      ‘Yes, I’m fine.’ Jan sniffed back the tears. ‘Don’t mind me.’

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