“Thanks,” she said and pulled the blanket tighter. “The fire feels good. You have a lot of stuff in that bag of tricks.”
“I have wilderness survival skills training and am a tactical paramedic.”
“Wow,” she said, sounding impressed. “I usually don’t meet a lot of paramedics with that level of training in an urban setting.”
“Well, when I got my certifications, I was preparing for a different life than being an urban EMT. Of course, fate sometimes has a way of kicking you in your soft spot.” He snapped the lid shut on his first-aid kit.
“I hear you,” she said. “I never thought in a million years that I would be here, in Austin, and living on an old cattle ranch.”
“Where did you expect to be?” he asked.
She cocked an eyebrow. “If I tell you, then you have to tell me about this different so-called life you were preparing for. Tit for tat.”
“Tit for tat?” he asked.
“Yeah, I’m not going to give you my life story without something in return. Just know that it stays between us.”
“Deal,” he said, because they had to kill time somehow and the rain was starting up again something fierce. At least he knew that Lucy was safe, so he didn’t have to worry about that. And he wouldn’t mind getting to know Dr. Fraser better. He admired her and she was a closed book. “So, where did you expect to be? How has your life gone sideways?”
“I got divorced,” she said. “And we worked together in San Diego and I couldn’t stand seeing him all the time, so I came here.”
“There’s more to it than that.”
“What do you mean?” she asked carefully.
“San Diego is a large city. You transfer to another hospital—you don’t pick up everything and move a couple of states away.”
Sandra sighed. “Fine. I couldn’t have kids... He didn’t want to adopt. It was a hard and emotional breakup and I knew to put it properly behind me I’d have to leave.”
“So why Austin?”
“I was adopted and grew up with my parents in San Diego, but I was born here. Since my adoptive parents are gone, I thought I would come home. Besides, a few months ago my ex remarried and is having the biological family he always wanted.”
“And you desperately wanted kids,” he said softly.
She nodded and he could see the tears in her eyes. “I did, but it wasn’t meant to be. I can’t get pregnant. Trust me, we tried, and I went through a lot of procedures. He found someone else who gave him the kids I couldn’t.”
“Now I get it.”
“You get what?” she asked.
“Why you moved from San Diego and why you bought an old cattle ranch in the middle of nowhere.” He reached into his bag and dug out a couple of granola bars. He tossed her one.
“You get that?” she teased, opening her granola bar and taking a bite.
“I think so, and I see the appeal. Living in a city is not at all how I planned my life.” He leaned back against the wall. “I wanted to be an air paramedic in Alaska.”
She raised her eyebrows. “Wow, that sounds adventurous and explains the wilderness training.”
“It was going to be.” He smiled. “Of course, then my high-school girlfriend got pregnant when we were twenty-one, so we got married and both became paramedics. There wasn’t much work in North Carolina and with a baby we couldn’t pursue our dreams of Alaska right away. I took a job in Austin...” He trailed off because it was hard even now to talk about Jenny. It brought back all those memories. All their hopes and dreams that never saw fruition.
He never talked about this with anyone. Ever. Those were his hopes and dreams. Their hopes and dreams, Jenny’s and his.
He never shared Jenny with anyone but her parents, Sally, and Lucy; Jenny and their plans he kept locked away. It was easier to cope with the grief that way.
Is it?
“What happened?” Sandra asked softly.
“My wife died of cancer five years ago.” And he fought back the tears that were threatening to fall. Even after all this time, admitting it was hard.
“I’m so sorry.”
Kody nodded. “At least I have my daughter, Lucy. I have a piece of my wife still.”
“So, Alaska is on hold?”
He nodded. “My late wife’s parents followed us from North Carolina to Austin and are a huge help to me with Lucy. I could never take Lucy away from them.”
“I never knew you had a child.”
“You never asked.”
“No. I suppose I didn’t, but I haven’t made a lot of friends here in Austin,” she admitted.
“You will.”
A strange looked passed briefly over her face. “We’ll see.”
“Well, I’m your friend.”
“Are you?” she asked.
“Of course. I don’t talk about my personal life with just anyone.”
What he didn’t say was that he didn’t share any of this with anyone. He wasn’t even sure why he was telling Sandra all of this. Maybe because she’d let down her guard too and it felt good to let it all out. He’d been bottling it up for so long.
“Well, there are flying paramedics in Texas. Perhaps you can get your license?”
Kody scrubbed a hand over his face. “It’s costly and you need to invest a lot of time in learning to fly. Perhaps one day. Right now, Lucy needs me.”
“You’re a good dad.” She smiled at him, her brown eyes twinkling in the flickering firelight. “I misjudged you.”
“How?” he asked.
“You were this fun-loving, charismatic guy. Men I know like that often play the field.”
He was shocked. “I’ve never been a player. There’s only been Jenny, and a handful of dates I went on about a year ago that went nowhere. That’s hardly playboy material.”
“I understand that now,” she said. “And I’m glad you’re not. Guys like that aren’t good for the heart.” She blushed. “What I mean is...”
He chuckled. “I understand. Still, it does secretly please me you thought I was charming enough to be a player.”
And it did. It made his pulse quicken in anticipation that she thought he was something of a bad boy. That she thought of him like that. That she thought about him more than just as a paramedic who annoyed her.
Sandra smiled at him; there was a dimple in her cheek and her chocolate-brown eyes lit with a sparkle he’d never seen. It made him feel warm; it shook away the remnants of the pain that were threatening to take over. The grief that he’d learned to compartmentalize in the last five years since Jenny slipped away.
“You have a beautiful smile, Sandra. Really beautiful,” he whispered.
“Thanks.”
“You should smile more.”
“Why? Because I’m only pretty when I smile?”
“No! No, you’re beautiful all the time. I’ve always thought so. I just like it when you smile at me.”
And before he knew what he was doing he reached out to touch her face. She let out a little sigh and she leaned forward, kissing him and