Before he had inevitably woken himself up screaming, he was certain that he had dreamt about them, too. He had certainly drifted off to sleep, wondering what it might feel like to run his fingers through all of that hair when he should have been thinking about how to salvage the estate. Connie had a way of permeating a great many of his thoughts since they had been thrust together. Even now. His morning rides had been a place to strategise about the future of Ardleigh Manor or contemplate his guilt—but there would be no strategising or guilt today. His new wife was too much of a distraction.
By the time they reached the trees they were both a little breathless. The ridiculously small hat that she had pinned on the top of her tightly bound hair was slightly askew, several copper tendrils had sprung free of their pins and were beginning to curl in the damp morning air. Combined with the victorious grin that lit up her eyes, the overall effect was simply stunning. It fair took his breath away.
What did not make any sense to Aaron was the fact that she had agreed to marry that wastrel Deal purely because he had asked her. That little snippet she had inadvertently let slip had occupied his thoughts a great deal last night and he still could not understand why she would sell herself so short this morning. Surely other men had asked? Connie had caused quite a stir when she had first come out, he remembered. Every young buck had been positively gushing about how glorious she was. One or two compared her poetically to a Titian painting but, he recalled with sudden clarity, when he had first seen her all those years ago he had thought that she was more like Botticelli’s Birth of Venus, rising proudly out of a giant clam shell, red hair tumbling carelessly over her milky-white shoulders and looking positively ripe for seducing.
How was is possible that five years later such a fine specimen of womanhood was still on the marriage mart? Unless she had frightened all potential suitors off with her feigned haughtiness and uninterest. And it was feigned, he now knew. Connie used it as a disguise in much the same way he used his charm. He had seen her reach for the emotion last night when she had realised that her betrothal to Deal had been nothing more than a way of perpetuating the feud. He had watched her transform her features from anguish into indifference and had wanted to go to her and hold her, and tell her that she did not have to wear her mask with him. Except if he did that then she might expect him to do the same—a preposterous thought that he could never entertain. He had left then, knowing that it would be simpler if they both played the characters that made them feel safest, and had regretted it instantly.
The smiling creature riding next to him appeared not to be wearing her mask at this moment. Connie looked relaxed and happy to be outside. Aaron let her gloat about her victory as they rode around the trees to the empty fields behind, secretly pleased that he had made her happy with such a simple act.
‘Why are your crops not planted?’ she asked after a minute, taking in the acres and acres of nothingness.
‘A very good question, Connie, and one that I cannot answer. I suspect my father’s estate manager is an idiot.’
‘I do not know a great deal about farming, but surely if the man is an idiot your father should dismiss him and hire someone more competent?’
Aaron gave her a wry smile. If only things were that simple. ‘Unfortunately, my father will not hear a bad word against the fellow. Mr Thomas is credited with orchestrating the purchase of land next to your father’s estate. Therefore, he is a genius according to my father.’
‘Because nothing is more important than the feud.’ She understood instantly and gazed off into the distance. ‘My own father is much the same. His main priority always has been the feud, too. Nothing else matters quite so much. Not peace or harmony and definitely not daughters.’
Her face had clouded a little and he realised that she was thinking about her betrothal again, only this morning she was inclined to be more reasonable about it. That was another thing he had noticed about her. Her temper burned hot, but quickly disappeared. She did not hold a grudge very well and faced her own shortcomings head on. He envied that.
‘I did think that you knew that Deal’s land borders ours. I wasn’t trying to be cruel last night, Connie.’
She brushed his apology away with a swat of her green-gloved hand. ‘I should have realised it myself. The signs were there. Why else would a man like Deal agree to marry me? I am quite annoyed that it never occurred to me sooner.’ But she had been so desperate to be a wife and a mother that she had ignored her better judgement, preferring to fool herself into believing he might miraculously grow to love her one day. As if a beautiful man like that would find something attractive in a gangly, ginger-haired giant. Connie doubted she would ever forget the look of disgust that had passed across her fiancé’s golden features when he had explained why he had agreed to the betrothal. If ever she had needed clarification of how unappealing she was as a woman, then that had been it. Yet Aaron’s words had also wounded. Perhaps more so. What sort of a man would willingly want to bed a shrew like you? She would spare him that ordeal because he had been honourable in marrying her. They rode in silence a little longer, side by side, neither looking at the other.
‘For what it’s worth,’ he suddenly blurted with an irritated expression on his handsome face, ‘I am glad that you never married Deal.’
Connie stared resolutely ahead because she did not want him to see how much talking about it hurt. ‘I am sure you are. It would have been very inconvenient if my father’s plan had succeeded. You would be surrounded by Stuarts and my father would have the upper hand once again.’
‘Stop being daft, Connie!’
She could feel herself bristle at his harsh tone and was about to give him a set down when he surprised her.
‘I do not give two farthings if this estate is positively ringed by Stuarts. I keep telling you that the silly feud needs to stop—and that I refuse to play any part of it. What I meant was Deal is a toad of a man. He’s a gambling, narcissistic lecher. The man brags about his many conquests at White’s and shows no regard or respect for the poor women he has seduced. I have always found him to be quite odious. You deserve better than that, Connie. And it irritates me to hear you sell yourself short by claiming you agreed to marry him simply because he asked.’
He looked irritated and that irritation on her behalf was very flattering. In case he saw that, she encouraged her horse to trot ahead of his before she allowed herself a little smile. She could not remember another man, save her brother, ever coming to her defence before. A little part of her heart rejoiced at that.
They rounded another copse of trees and the sight beyond brought Connie up short.
Redbridge House.
She could see it plainly in the distance, so near that she could just about make out the wisps of smoke coming out of the four large chimneys on its roof. If all of the fires were lit, then that could only mean one thing. Her family were in residence. The wave of longing was so swift and sudden that she could not hide it as he pulled his horse up alongside.
‘You miss your family.’
‘I miss my mother and my brother.’ There was no point denying that. She did not care one whit about her spiteful, critical father.
‘Perhaps you should write to them? I am sure that they would be glad to hear from you.’
It occurred to Connie then that Aaron was not keeping tabs on her, else he would have known that she had already tried. ‘Then you do not know my father. I sent a letter a few days ago. It came back unopened.’
‘Your brother and mother might think differently. Perhaps you should write to one of them.’
Connie turned her horse abruptly away from the painful view. ‘I am sure my father would ensure that any letters would be intercepted before they got to the rest of my family. You were there, Aaron, when he said that I was dead to him. The man never backs down.’ Once again she saw a flash of pity in his eyes and decided to nip it in the bud. ‘Let us not talk about it any more. Discussing it is pointless and will only serve to spoil my ride.’
They meandered slowly back towards Ardleigh Manor, the mood somewhat more sombre than he had