avoiding hard conversations, but she needed answers so she could begin to make sense of what had happened. Had he been stranded on some island this whole time? Only recently cured of amnesia? What had prevented him from contacting them?
She spoke each word carefully. “There is a headstone with your name on it a few plots from your dad’s.” She gestured toward him. “Yet here you are. How is that possible?”
He rubbed his hand up and down his jaw and traced it down the side of his neck. Blew out a long stream of air as he looked out across the ranch. “I’m so sorry.”
Cassidy latched onto his arm, seizing all of his attention. “What happened? It was as if you just vanished.”
“That’s because I wanted everyone to think I had.”
She jerked her hand away and took a step back. “Wait. You...you wanted us to think you were dead? On purpose?” Her voice rose.
He took a nervous half step toward her. “Let me explain.”
Her anger flared, hot and sharp. Late to the party, but very much there.
He had willingly forced them to live through five years of lies.
After all this time, I didn’t expect you to be here.
His words clicked into place. He had left and hadn’t wanted to see her ever again. He wasn’t happy she was here. He had wanted her to go on believing he was gone. A hot wave of embarrassment washed over her. She felt so foolish for flinging her arms around him moments ago, for her tears.
Wade didn’t want her. Maybe never had.
Cassidy willed strength into her body. She would stand tall and face this man. His lie—believing he was dead—had forced her to become resilient, tough and independent. Now he would have to deal with what he had done.
She lifted her chin. “You left me alone.”
“For your own good.”
“How could you?”
“Cassidy.” He put his hands up defensively. “Please, just hear me out.”
“You missed almost five years of your daughter’s life.” There. Now he knew. It wasn’t how she had wanted to confirm his suspicion but she couldn’t take it back now.
His gaze dropped to the toes of his shoes as if the brown leather encasing them was the most interesting thing he had ever seen. His hunched shoulders did nothing to stem her anger, though in any other situation they would have caused her ready compassion to spring forward. She waited for him to say something more, to explain himself. To offer some reason that might suddenly make what he had done okay.
As if anything could.
He glanced up, his gaze latching onto her face as if she was a lighthouse and he was a ship tossed in a storm. “I didn’t know. If only I’d known.”
Cassidy balled up her hands.
She would not feel bad for him. She would not pity this man who had misused and discarded her as if she had meant nothing.
As if she had not mattered.
Surely if he had loved her at all, he wouldn’t have faked his death. He wouldn’t have let her cry and mourn and grieve for him.
“Why?” she whispered. Tears pricked the corners of her eyes. “Why did you do it?”
Wade licked his lips. His hand shook right before he shoved it into his hair. “I thought... It was for the best, I promise. I did it for you.”
Cassidy reeled back. “Don’t you dare pin what you did on me. Not this. Not what you put them through.” She pointed at the house. At the place where Shannon and their mother had wept for months over him. At the home Rhett had left after he and his father had fought about who was to blame for Wade’s death. The entire Jarrett family lost their way for a while after they thought Wade had died.
Cassidy had almost lost herself in grief too.
She jammed her fingers against her chest. “Not after what you put me through.”
“Cass, hey.” He gently took hold of her arm as he stepped nearer. “I’m so sorry. You have no idea how sorry I am. I shouldn’t have—I’m making a complete mess of this. Of everything.”
She yanked her arm away from him. “Don’t you ever say you did it for me again, understand? You clearly did it for you and you alone, Wade. So you need to own what you did to everyone.”
His eyes widened. “That’s not what I meant. Let me ex—”
She held up a hand. Moments ago, she had wanted answers, but she no longer wanted to hear whatever lie he was trying to spin to shirk the blame.
He had never loved her. She hadn’t known until this second, but there it was. For the past five years, she had mourned a man who she had thought had been devoted to her. Who had struggled in life but loved her fiercely.
But Wade hadn’t.
He had left.
Turned and never thought of her again.
Cassidy closed her eyes as she gritted out, “Did you or did you not fake your death?”
“It’s not that simple.”
Oh, but it was.
Cassidy blinked away tears as she opened her eyes and lifted her chin. “Tell me, Wade. Were you held captive for the last five years? Hit your head and suffered from amnesia?” She already knew the answer, but he needed to understand what he had put his family through. He needed to see that he couldn’t just explain away the kind of pain he had inflicted. Comprehend how ridiculous any explanation he had to offer would be.
“Was there some tragic reason you were unable to access a phone or computer or carrier pigeon to send a message? No kindling for a smoke signal to tell us you were alive?” Her voice trembled, but she held steady. “Or was not telling us—not reaching out—a deliberate choice on your part?”
“Cass, please.” He held his hands out to her, palms up.
“It’s a simple yes or no answer, Wade. No need for long explanations. The phone number and address are the same, so that couldn’t have been the issue.”
“There’s a lot more to it than that.”
“Just answer me.” She ground out the words.
Wade sighed, defeated. “I didn’t reach out. It was a choice. I already told you that.”
“Then I don’t need to hear anything else,” she said.
And meant it.
He had chosen to let them hurt. To let her heart crumble to dust at the loss of him. To destroy his family. He had allowed them to believe and make decisions based on lies.
Nothing could make any of those things go away. Nothing ever would.
At one time in her life, she had fiercely loved this man. Loved the way his calloused fingers brushed the back of her neck or traced her arm right before his lips found hers. Loved the intensity in his eyes whenever they locked onto her face. Loved the caress in his voice whenever they talked together.
For her, their love had been a consuming force. Something that had shoved the rest of the world away. Something that had saved her from the suffocating pressure her parents had stacked on Cassidy her whole life.
Wade Jarrett had once been her everything, and it had been both wonderful and dangerous in turns.
But Cassidy Danvers had grown up. In the past five years, she had built a life where Wade didn’t exist. One where her happiness and success didn’t depend on him.
And it was a good life. A life she loved. A life in which she didn’t need him at all.
“Please,” he whispered.