StaWle Zosimov Wisewordski

Notes of a Russian homeless. Humorous stories


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his head, from shoulder to shoulder, right, left:

      – — Oh, oh, ah, ah!! – Madame Madame Ivanova snapped, stoned by medical morphine. – Doctor, oh dear doctor! – I pray in Christ, come up with something? Ouch… Ouch! Do not tell your husband?! He’s a cool bandit. What, and I went to Papua New Guinea alone.., Oaya, to write a thesis, Wow., About the local groups there., Yes!! Oh, bucks, bucks crying!! A piece of mowers ($ 1000), otherwise he is vulnerable, a killer of the sixth and highest level, he can kill my cornflower and you, maybe me.

      – — And I have to do with it? – surprised the doctor.

      – — Fuck him, soak, how to give a drink!!

      – — Madam, shut up, you need to save you, you have gusts below the navel and above the knees… Mdaaa.. Something we will consider scientific. Lena! Helen! – He called a young trainee, a local medical school., with the name Dandelion.

      Dandelion Lena, tightening her ass and coquettishly chatting with her around, leaned against the doctor.

      – — Yes, Putin Donald Trump. I’m ready…

      – — And why do you have the name Dandelion?

      – — And that, hehehe. – covered with a palm her long nose a red mop, which only paid off on the set-offs, but it looked like a virgin. – by type I was found in cabbage and I’m glad.

      The doctor looked around at her, not yet wrinkled, slim figure, and, expanding his eyes, took a deep breath of perfume, rattling his eyelashes.

      – — Wow, stealing, you will go to the emergency room, ask Mr. Ivanov. You will tell him when he responds that the birth took place in normal normal mode, but due to a mutation, the genes did not converge, and a black child was born. Do you get it?

      – — Yes, Mr. Comrade Putin Donald Trump. – and the nurse proudly disappeared into the doorway. It turns out in the emergency room and says:

      – — Hello, and who is Mr. Vasil Ivanov?

      He gets up and answers loudly:

      – -I AM!!!!

      She surveyed him from head to toe, with his neck to the limit, his massive muscles, especially in the area of shoulders and neck and frightened opened his eyes, mouth and nostrils from fear. After I staggered back and back flushed to the doctor.

      – -I, sir-comrade Putin, Donald trump, I’m afraid. It’s so big, strong and stupid. – And wept bitter tears. The doctor took the hem of his robe and wiped her eyes, smearing thick Lily-livered tears on her face, like a cleaner wipes the window with year-old dust. Confirmation of this he still breathe her in the brush, drove the flies, and tried to continue the grater, but Helen otfinowski ran into procedural and closed from the inside, fell asleep on the couch. If the corridor was not heard her pig snores, the local comrades, the sick would break the door lock, they wanted to wash.

      Body Ivanova stood out among expected, especially given the fact that he was the only one there, not counting the old rat under a nearby chair, gnawing the corner of the linoleum, modest munching. The doctor, horrified at the amounts expected, flustered. Thought inadvertently still fall under the hot hand and kicking a rat in the face, ran out from the emergency room.

      – -What to do, what to do? – He muttered under his breath and headed to his office. – In!!! – it dawned on him, and he lifted a telephone tube from his pocket, dialed the number, saving the phone. – OLE, OLE… Merkel?.. It’s me, Putin, Donald trump. Hey colleague, do you have any patient on now?

      Merkel, Theresa may, was his classmate and worked at a local medical detox.

      – -Is.., why? ‘said Teresa Merkel may,

      – -It came to me to declare the birth relative. Then pay off.

      I slept on hard beds and were preparing to exit. Frankly to say I vaguely remembered how I was taken to a detox, but already made plans for a hangover. Twenty minutes later I was transported under police escort to the hospital, unwittingly. I myself looked skinny since birth, in combination – a BUM (Seasoned Offspring of Worldly Life). My eyes were bulging like a frog. On the left chin and nose grew two gray warts. Of teeth I had only two rotten stump and four roots. The neck was profusely bulging Adam’s Apple, the rest seemed simple: set my bones covered with leather pouch and uncut dice complement the sights of my body.

      Placing your tip on the chair I tried to retire a forked silhouette of the doctor, who was in front of me.

      – -Hello, Vasya. – he greeted me.

      – -Yeah. “I said.

      – -Here, two hundred grams of pure alcohol! – he pushed a glass towards me. – But it should work. In General, come to the emergency room. Ask Mr. Ivanov. He will answer: “Me!”. Say, “had a normal delivery, but due to a mutation, the genes did not agree, and the baby was born black. Got it?”.

      I reached for the glass. The doctor is holding it up.

      – -Understand?

      – -Yes! – nervously rising from my soul, and I drained the glass. I put a white gown and cap and was kicked out of office. Good thing I had the Cup to drain. And putting the door admissions, old yeast let know.

      I came out and said, hiccuping.

      – -Who Is Ivanov? IR.

      – -I!!! – rattled in my ears.

      – -Hey, bro, had a normal delivery. – looking at him as the water tower, I went on, but the head is tired and I have a stiff neck and I lowered my gaze to his navel, aligning the head. – OK, IK there were IK, birth. Yeah! But you, your my Fucking water, right? And then the dirty child was born, IR, Gena called! My name is Bob. Understand?

      12 note

      Three Georgians Saakashvili…

      I hasten, I mean in the market, and I think that Apology is a hypocrisy to God and encouragement of Evil, because if you apologize once, it may like how to steal, kill and similar actions. We need to repent only to God and rely on His mercy, for only He has the right to forgive, and people pray for forgiveness in prayers, that is: Forgive us our debts, just as we forgive our debtors and do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from the Evil one. Therefore, it is easier not to commit evil intentions so as not to pray God for forgiveness. And the Apology to the offended is a passive drug addiction, which is still requested by the Soul consciousness to apologize, and therefore the reason for that. – I thought and began to remember what I was looking for and what I needed. He stopped, looked around – the collective farm market is already closing. Many collect slowly their various goods. Wheel loaders take away full carts on containers, and I stand and remember the reason for my presence here. A lot of thoughts come to my mind, and just when there is no pen at hand. And this time, my thoughts are how horses will accelerate into being, and who knows if I will remember them again, somewhere in my office, to fix them for eternity, and now I remember something else… I remembered and began to search at the pace that you need, because the market is closing, and before I can’t visit it because of the work to which I am anxious and conscientious. I look, the first Georgian is standing behind the counter, in front of him is a barrel and the inscription on it: “live fish!” I go up to him and ask. Our town is small and in connection with professional activities, I know almost every resident by name and surname. In short, I am addressing him by name.

      – — Hello, Genatsvale! I greeted him.

      – — Cabaret Jeba, brother! he replied joyfully.

      – — What, are you selling live fish?

      – — Yeah. – reluctantly he answered. Why reluctantly? And because he is my rival, he constantly pesters my wife. I looked into the barrel and asked.

      – —