Mother Theresia, called Adele Maria Theresia Bonzel, was accepted in Cologne in the boarding school.
Inquiries as to Aline’s classmates at that time were not made early enough to obtain particulars of the actions and experiences of the girls in the school. Although there are no extant facts, one can nevertheless state that this period must have had great significance in the development of the young girls. It was the first time Aline was away from the parental home and her native town for a long period of time. She had to adjust to unknown people in new surroundings and prove herself in a firmly organized environment. The tried tradition of the Ursulines laid great stress on cultural and character formation and true cultivation of piety. The constant association with religious women must have had great influence on the girls. It is true in all pensionats that the girls are deeply interested in the life of the religious; as much as possible they try to discover many of the so-called “conventual mysteries.”
Such interest often enough may have been only a romantic curiosity. But in the overall atmosphere of the pensionat many a vocation has been awakened. This seems also to have been the case with Aline. Although we know scarcely anything of her stay in Cologne, it is certain however that before she left the pensionat, she spoke to the superior of the Ursulines of her desire to become a religious. At that time her desire may not have been firm; it needed to mature. At all events the farewell words of the superior influenced and encouraged her to consider earnestly taking such a step. The consent of the mother however, was wanting. Aline also conferred with her confessor on this point. He reacted positively but counseled her not to act hastily, to wait some time in order to test the genuineness of her decision. Concerning this talk with her confessor we know from her friend, Emma Deimel, to whom she had entrusted it. Emma Deimel harbored like thoughts; she later entered the Carmelite Convent in Echt, Holland, and was invested as Sister Maria Walburga. The little information we have today of Aline’s youth came largely from her.
After Aline’s return to the parental home, the mother valued it most highly that her daughter become deeply involved in the social life of Olpe. What mother would not have had a like ambition? Before the critical eyes of relatives and acquaintances, her daughter should give evidence of her grace and charm in the refined manners she acquired at the pensionat. As Aline now had to participate in all the yearly festivals and amusements of Olpe and its surroundings, more than she herself liked, her mother must have had another design in this. She hoped that her daughter’s idea of the convent would pass over and prove to have been but a romantic enthusiasm resulting from the conventional atmosphere of the pensionat. If through experience in social activities, the daughter’s thoughts would be deflected from the convent and in consequence acquire a new interest, this indeed would be a highly prized method.
All this of course was not according to the thinking of Aline. She would have liked to enter a convent immediately. However, her inner nobility of character did not allow her to frown upon those festivities nor to enter them with a dejected countenance. Her cheerful and open disposition made it easy for her to participate with genuine joy. What the mother had hoped in her inmost heart, and here and there contrived, was happening to some degree: Aline had several offers of marriage, in itself an honor for a young girl. In jest, although clear and determined, she withdrew from the young men who persisted in their offers.
At her First Holy Communion, she had prayed: “O Lord, I am your victim; accept me entirely as your victim; do not reject me.” Soon after her return from the pensionat she experienced how our Lord accepted the oblation of herself as a victim. She was afflicted with a heart condition that lasted during her entire life. If a young person not yet twenty years of age be afflicted with a disease and experienced the infirmities of man in suffering and in pain, if he saw boundaries set to his energies, how do you think he would react? Many would complain, bearing the disease with an exhibition of suffering to evoke sympathy. Or, they would rest upon their misfortune unable to develop their capabilities and go through life in bitterness of heart. Again, others despairing would thrust themselves into all possible gratifications to glean something from life. Aline realized that God had accepted her offer. She saw in this, the affirmation that God had accepted her as his victim. It was not enough for her to bear this illness patiently, she also was prepared to follow Christ in an all-embracing surrender. Her cardiac condition was not the end of her endeavors, but in reality only its beginning. According to human estimation, she was scarcely equal to the tasks life set for her. As she bore her infirmity in the right spirit, she was able to accomplish much. Her strength was not an explosive energy, a reckless creative muse, with disquiet scheming. With a heart condition like hers, she would soon have come to the end of her capacity. But she lived and worked over fifty years with this ailment because she possessed the gift of expending her energy with serenity, wisdom, and tenacious regularity.
Throughout her entire life one can observe a display of these characteristics. They are clearly seen in the way she strove amidst all difficulties to enter the religious life. It was true of Aline, and in fact of all girls who attended the pensionat, that the social life experienced there was later preserved in close friendships. Several Olpe daughters had been with Aline in Cologne. They soon formed a unique circle whose objective was certainly not the revitalizing of an exhausted friendship. They united to venerate the Blessed Virgin Mary, a devotion endeared to them by the Ursulines. They formed a Marian Alliance of which Aline became the leader. The tasks undertaken by this alliance were the yearly decorating of the May altar, the assembling for prayer in honor of Mary, and the engaging in works of Christian charity and beneficence. This Marian Alliance was the initial realization of their later religious life, not only for Aline, but also for two of her friends. One was Emma Deimel referred to previously. The other was Regina Loeser. She was invested with Aline on December 20, 1860, but died prematurely on May 27, 1861.
Aline realized her call to the religious life very definitely at the age of nineteen and one-half. From March 28 to April 8, 1850, she took part in a parish mission in the neighboring town of Drolshagen, conducted by two extraordinary priests. Their names were known far and wide: Missionary Hillebrand and the Franciscan Father Kaspar Heimer. Aline made a general confession of her entire life to the leader, Missionary Hillebrand. She was so moved that her handkerchief was wet with the tears shed in the confessional. With her the missionaries accomplished their purpose completely. The method of the mission was set especially on stirring the feelings powerfully. The sermons resulted in a strong awakening of the emotions. Missionary Hillebrand must have been deeply impressed by Aline’s confession in which he was given a more penetrating glimpse into her soul than others were. The experienced director of souls perceived the genuine in Aline; he saw clearly that hers was a soul God had taken into his care in a special way. He offered her his wish to become the director of her soul and that she should contact him whenever he should be in the vicinity. That a missionary so much in demand should make this offer to her shows his concern for this chosen soul to walk in the way of God. He wished to be the instrument for fulfilling the will of God completely in her. Aline confided this offer to one of her friends. She followed the counsel of the confessor.
At the mission renewal, which usually took place the following year, she again confessed to Father Hillebrand and most likely also during the Olpe mission in 1851. The missionary realized that this penitent needed to be confirmed in her ideal to be able to withstand the great opposition her mother voiced to her entrance into religious life. It may be that he harbored the thought that the mother would relent if she were confronted with completed data in a positive way. Therefore after confession, Aline pronounced a vow of perpetual chastity. She went a step farther and soon after the mission entered the Franciscan Tertiaries of the world. Her name as a tertiary of St. Francis was her future name as a religious: Maria Theresia.
Thus interiorly she had bound herself completely. Now there was but one conclusion she could draw: as she had proceeded on this way and gave up all claims to marriage for the sake of heaven, she must endeavor to enter the religious state as soon as possible. But for this she needed the consent of her mother. She realized this permission would provoke much discussion. Most probably Missionary Hillebrand had counseled her after taking the vow of chastity to have a decisive talk with her mother and explain fully to her that she had destroyed all bridges behind her.
The exact day on which Aline had her discussion with her mother is not known, but it seems to have occurred toward