adding other names to the list. The sun beat down from overhead as they worked through their final plans, the ranchers and hired helpers moving the cattle into position around them.
Later in the day, when the group stopped to water the cattle and have a meal, Joseph had a chance to pull Carey aside. “I can’t believe Casey actually went through with it,” he started, stirring his fork absentmindedly around on his tin plate.
“Went through with what? Getting married? Why not? Miranda seems like a great girl. I mean, she’d have to be, not to run screaming away from the bunch of us.” He nudged his younger brother jokingly with his shoulder.
“Oh, no. I didn’t mean Miranda. She seems really incredible,” Joseph interrupted, realizing how his words could be taken. “I don’t know, the whole thing just seemed so weird. I mean, come on. Who meets a stranger on the Internet and gets married? It’s a little creepy, don’t you think?”
Carey looked out over the resting herd and the workers standing at ease in a wide formation around the group. He’d grown up with these very ranch hands, most of whom actually lived on the Carson Hill Ranch because of its distance from the nearest town. Carey and his five brothers had even gone to school on the ranch, along with a handful of other kids whose families lived on the 800,000-acre property year-round.
“Well, when you put it that way, it is kind of weird, I suppose, but how else was Casey supposed to find a wife?” he asked his younger brother. “This isn’t exactly a hotbed of social activity out where we are, and the days of placing a newspaper ad for a wife are kind of over.”
“Right. So, is that what you’re gonna do? Click a few buttons on a computer and order a wife instead? Maybe have her shipped overnight delivery?” Joseph teased. Carey knew his brother was only kidding, but that thought had bothered him, too. Now that his dad had successfully married off one of his sons with his crazy plan of creating dating profiles behind their backs and pretending to be the twins for the purposes of emailing back, it could mean he’d be on the warpath to repeat his success.
“No, I don’t think so. It sure worked out well enough for Casey, but what if he just got lucky? I just can’t see myself talking to some girl through a computer screen and thinking that means true love,” Carey conceded, going back to paying full attention to his dinner plate. “Guess I’ll have to go looking for a girl the old-fashioned way.”
“Oh, that’s nice. You mean the local whorehouse?” Joseph asked with a wide-eyed, innocent expression that hid the semi-cruel sense of humor underneath.
“You watch your mouth,” Carey cautioned in a sterner voice, shoving his brother painfully in the shoulder with both hands. Joseph must have forgotten that only days ago, two runaways had shown up on the ranch, having escaped from one of the worst offenders in the town. At that very moment, they were holed up in an outbuilding some 200 acres from the main house of Carson Hill, suffering through the pains of withdrawal.
“Oh, crap,” Joseph said, recognizing from Carey’s expression what he’d just implied. “I wasn’t thinking about them. You have to believe me, Carey, I was only kidding. I was just running my stupid mouth.”
“It’s okay, but you have to be more careful. What if that kind of talk got back to those poor girls? I’m not stupid and I’m not a completely inexperienced kid…I know some of these guys have already met with those girls once or twice before, if not more often. You can’t go talking about them like that, especially with these guys around.”
“I know! I said I was sorry, I really am,” the younger brother continued, a look of guilt crossing his face.
“It’s all right. I know you didn’t mean anything. Just be more careful. Come on, let’s finish up. It looks like we’re ready to move out.” Carey and Joseph joined the line of ranchers and vacationers who brought their lunch dishes back to the rolling kitchen truck before heading back to their assigned positions within the drive. Although a modern cattle drive hardly even looked like what the cowboys of the Old West endured, what with retrofitted kitchens on wheels doing all the cooking, a medical truck providing support, and even an extra vehicle or two meeting the group at different points along the way in case anyone needed anything, Bernard did his best to keep some of that original spirit alive. That’s why every year, people paid good money to join the drive, “city people”, who spent a week or two with the group just to get away from their busy lives and smartphones for a little while. Helping move thirty or forty thousand cows from one state to another may not have been as glamorous as a trip to the Caribbean or a ski vacation but people still signed up, year after year, hoping to get away from it all and carve out just a small portion of peace and quiet while still being a part of something big.
This drive was no different. If Carey bothered to look hard enough, he could have started to pick out some of the differences among their guests, but who was he kidding? They were all the same, at least on the surface. They all had lives and jobs that didn’t involve ranching or working the land, and they all had money to burn to pretend like they wanted to live like this. He knew from experience that every one of them would be hopping on the plane in a few days, eager to get back to the land of modern plumbing and central heating. There wasn’t much point in learning anything more than their first names, and even that information was only useful for calling out to one of them if they were about to do something dumb.
Carey swung up in the saddle and steered his horse to the lead team, ready to swap out with anyone who might need a break for a little while. Leading was stressful, especially because the rest of society didn’t care too much for the old ways. Lead riders had to watch out for all kinds of dangers like speeding cars and eighteen-wheelers and alert the rest of the group, so there was no daydreaming up front.
“Hey, Jeff, I’ll come on up here for a while if anyone wants to take a rest along the sides of the pack,” Carey offered, coming up close to one of the professional drovers, who was hired every year just for the duration of events like this one.
“Yeah, right,” Jeff said with a pleasant laugh. “You just want to get away from those city people. You’re not fooling anyone with this ‘I’m here to help’ act you’re putting on!”
“I’m telling you, Jeff. I don’t know if I can take it anymore!” Carey laughed along quietly, looking around to make sure no one overheard them. “I’ve put up with these yahoos every year, and even after I think I’ve heard it all, somehow, the next crop has someone even worse. Remember that guy who brought his own gun on the trip and was mad when Dad made him leave it locked in the safe? Like we were going to need to deputize him and ride out with a posse against Black Bart to save Miss Polly from the train tracks, or something.” Jeff laughed at Carey’s description, slapping his thigh with his reins as he roared. “This time, we have two girls who have no business out here, one who’s scared of every little shadow and one who thinks all men were put on this planet for her to hate.”
“Oh, sounds like you’re already getting along great with the ladies, huh?” Jeff joked, pointing out that Carey’s twin had just gotten married, leaving plenty of room for him to find a girl of his own.
“Don’t start on me. I can already feel Dad breathing down my neck. Not that I would ever wish Casey or Miranda anything but the best but deep down, I was kind of hoping Dad would realize he should have stayed out of it if they didn’t patch things up like they did. Now that he’s tasted matchmaking success, it’s like I can feel his eyes on me, like he has a giant bull’s eye on my back for his Cupid’s arrow.”
“Yeah, I wish I had something helpful to say there, buddy, but I’m sure you’re right. He’s gonna be on you to get married next!” Jeff grinned as he spoke, obviously not anywhere near as sympathetic as his words should have been. They rode along in silence for a few more minutes, one smiling in triumph, the other hanging his head. “You know, there is one thing you can do. The only way to head off your dad’s ideas of romance is to beat him to the punch.”
“What do you mean?” Carey asked, hope coloring his voice.
“Well, find your own girl without his help. Maybe then he’ll leave you alone.