who are ready or willing to commit. I am stumped and disappointed about this.”
Nevertheless, Sonya is resolute in her advice to other women. “Stay true to yourself, no matter what the situation,” she emphasizes. “Integrity is my favorite word. Never let others dictate who you are and what you think. Don’t ‘dumb’ down for someone.” She acknowledges that she sees some of her friends do this and it saddens her.
“The thing I like best about myself is that I am non-judgmental,” she says. “I may not approve of or like something you do, but I respect your choice. And more than anything, I know, for sure, that I have been so blessed. If I don’t give back, then my blessings have been wasted. Be yourself. Don’t hide your light.”
Sonya has shed the light of health education to countless people, male and female, adults and youth. She is indeed blessed, and a blessing.
Karolyn Ali
“Ground yourself in some form of spirituality. Love yourself and go forward.”
I met Academy Award-Nominee Karolyn Ali when my son, Simon, was hired as an intern at Amaru Entertainment in Santa Monica, CA. Amaru represented the estate of the late rap star, Tupac Shakur, and it was a college student’s dream to work in such a setting. Karolyn was kind as well as strict with her new intern. And I, as Simon’s mother, was grateful for her guidance and direction for this teenager who was so excited to be working in the music industry.
I got to know Karolyn during the time Simon worked for her and found her to be as beautiful in her spirit as she is in her physical appearance, with her long, flowing hair, and her regal presence. She remained a mentor to Simon throughout his college career, having written a recommendation for him when he applied to The Berklee College of Music, and taking his phone calls from Boston when he was at Berklee College studying music business. She was also inspiring to me in the process of writing this book, offering her encouragement when I was challenged or feeling like Sisyphus, of Greek mythology, endlessly rolling the great stone up the mountain, only to have it roll down again. Karolyn was helpful from beginning to end. Early on she agreed to chant, in her tradition, for the best outcome for all concerned with the project.
Karolyn Ali was born Carolyn Jeannette Brown in Washington, D.C to parents who soon divorced. Her mother, Jennie, moved with her two daughters to Cambridge, Massachusetts, where they lived for a time with their great-aunt. She describes this period as hard for them, but they made it work; and eventually settled into what she describes as a comfortable life in Springfield, Massachusetts revolving around school and the Baptist Church.
Karolyn and her younger sister really had little relationship with their own father, but came to deeply appreciate their stepfather, Hammie Golden, who came into their lives when Karolyn was thirteen. Together, they regularly experienced family outings to a different New England city or landmark every Sunday and Karolyn speaks of her mother, Jennie, and stepfather with great fondness and respect. Hammie, or “Pop” as they called him, “was an uneducated Southern gentleman with a heap of common sense and a big heart…a beautiful man,” Karolyn says. He was a decorated Army soldier, who loved animals and loved to fish. He loved bringing his catch home for his family and the neighbors, too. Although both her parents worked full time, their jobs were menial with low income. But, Karolyn explains, “We didn’t know we were poor. For Blacks at that time to have a home and two parents together and with jobs, well, that was rich.” Eventually, her stepfather owned his own dry-cleaning business where Karolyn worked part time.
Unlike her younger sister, Daa’iyah—a linguist with a Master’s degree in Education, French and Spanish—Karolyn, regrets that she did not identify herself as an academic. She says that as a youngster, she knew she was endowed with the work ethic and just couldn’t wait to join the workforce, starting with a job at the public library when she was fifteen. She worked through junior college and held a dream of having her own business. Within six months of receiving her Associate of Science degree, United Airlines hired her as their thirteenth black flight attendant. “My mother was an emotional wreck over me flying for a living. What did we know about airplanes? Black people didn’t fly.”
It was 1965 and because of issues of segregation and prejudice, Blacks were not welcome in the South. United Airlines did not require their African American crewmembers to fly south of the Mason-Dixon line, but Karolyn says she thought, “I’m not going to let that fear keep me from doing my job.” And so she accepted flight schedules from her Chicago domicile to all destinations. She served many dignitaries and well-known people, including Duke Ellington, Senator Everett Dirksen, Richard Nixon’s presidential campaign press plane and Muhammad Ali. Of the latter, she says they became friends after a turbulent flight between New York City and Chicago, where The Champ became so fearful that he accidentally pulled the shade off the window. His first comment to the fair-skinned Karolyn was, “Are you passin”?” He was referring to her position as a black flight attendant and meant that he wondered if she was trying to pass for a white person. After the flight, he and Howard Bingham gave her a ride home. They have remained friends for forty years.
During her stint as a “stewardess,” Karolyn maximized her days off by modeling. Shortly thereafter, she was discovered by Ebony magazine for their ’67 national Fashion Fair. United granted her a leave of absence to join the fashion tour where she held the distinct privilege of closing the show each night as the show’s “bride.” Her groom was Richard Roundtree. On her return to the airline Karolyn was selected into United’s management training program and groomed for various management positions. Her first assignment was as an appearance counselor for flight attendants who were all women at the time; teaching trainees about grooming guidelines, which included wearing girdles, and strict weight control. From that position, she moved on to be an in-flight supervisor, anonymously evaluating crewmembers on random flights and writing reports regarding issues of safety and quality control.
It was around this time that Karolyn married John Ali who was introduced to her by The Champ and Howard. While she enjoyed being treated like a princess by John, the confines of a traditional marriage did not suit her ambitious professional goals. Karolyn got a divorce and continued her climb up United’s corporate ladder and beyond.
Ultimately, Karolyn was appointed Director of In-flight Services Training. She designed and wrote training manuals for In-flight safety and dining services, including galley and serving procedures, menus, service-ware —all the most minute details of In-flight service. She was one of the few black women in management, and says it was a fabulous experience that prepared her for corporate life and allowed her to travel the world.
Karolyn began mingling with popular recording artists and took another brief leave of absence from United to explore the entertainment industry. She was invited to join Bob Marley’s management and music publishing company taking up residencies in London, Jamaica, New York and Los Angeles.
But, in contrast to her “charmed life” with her family and at United, Karolyn’s personal life was marred by a devastating relationship with an abusive man—a “Jekyll and Hyde.” She had to literally run for her life, slipping away from their digs in the middle of the night and begging the doorman not to reveal seeing her. She took a bus home to her parents, who sheltered her and nurtured her back to health. This experience, though a dark chapter, planted a seed of a dream, which she still holds, of one day creating a documentary for and about abused women. Its purpose will be educational and, hopefully, preventive, as it will encourage women to keep their power and not give it up to any man. She laments that “in the name of love,” so many good women are filled with drugs and then emotionally and physically beaten by men who claim to care about them. This is a theme that many of the women I interviewed echoed, and I look forward to Karolyn’s dream coming to fruition. “I became empowered through determination,” Karolyn says today. “My naiveté was gone after the experience of physical abuse, and I simply took an attitude of no fear.”
Strengthened and reinvigorated, Karolyn bounced back in New York as the Executive Assistant to Bennie Ashburn, manager of The Commodores, which included Lionel Richie. She traveled the world promoting their image and reputation,