If you’re anything like me, there are always aspects of your life or your personality that you’re working to improve. After all, nobody’s perfect—that’s part of the beauty of life. We all make mistakes, we all have bad habits, we all make bad choices sometimes, and that’s okay. In fact, that’s great! But if you do want to continue learning and improving, it’s probably not a great idea to just keep doing the same thing you’ve been doing for years. It’s time to try something new.
This is where affirmations come in. Affirmations are positive statements that you make out loud, every day, to help you shift your mindset in a positive and productive way. These statements can be about literally anything. For example, if you are trying to increase your self-confidence, you could say something like, “My self-confidence increases every day.” Or if, let’s say, you just had a bad breakup and you’re trying to shift your focus from your dating life (or lack thereof) to your career—then you could say to yourself, “I will focus on improving my job prospects,” or, “I am completely focused on my work.” It’s all about what changes you want to make—how you want to improve your mindset and, ultimately, your life.
Now, one of the main benefits of affirmations is that they help you to change how you think—over time. You won’t wake up one morning, say to yourself that you’re going to be happy from now on, and then have the best day of your life every day until you die. (Well, you probably won’t, anyway—I suppose anything is possible.) But if you commit to taking five minutes of your morning to stand in front of the mirror, look yourself in the eye, and tell yourself that you are a beautiful, capable person who will achieve all she is working for, you’ll find that after a couple of weeks, you’re actually starting to believe yourself. Maybe you’ll stop cringing every time you look in the mirror, or maybe you’ll start to notice all of the small steps you’re making toward your big goals—the steps that have been made easier now that you know, and I mean really know, that you’re capable of anything you set your mind to.
Affirmations aren’t magic spells. You can’t just say that you’re going to advance in your career and sit in your chair staring at a blank computer screen every day—you have to work your ass off and take advantage of the chance opportunities that come around. You can’t just tell yourself that you’re going to love your family members better and then proceed to ignore them every time they come near—you have to actually listen when they talk and respond patiently and kindly. What I’m saying is, if you don’t follow up on your affirmations with actions, not much in your life will really change. I mean, it makes sense. Empty words are useless. But affirmations are the first step to a better morning, to an improved mindset—to a you that you actually like to be around.
Every chapter of this book is full of mini-sections I like to call Affirmation Stations. Each station has a few examples of affirmations that you can use to start your journey toward self-improvement.
Now, not every affirmation is for every person. If your goal is to be happy single, for example, you shouldn’t say, “I will love my partner well”; rather, you should say, “I am happy and excited to be independent.” If you want to change your career or find a new job, you shouldn’t say, “I am happy at my job,”—you should say, “I am capable of making positive changes.” My recommendation is to pull out your old highlighters or some colorful pens and mark the affirmations that you want to use. Find sticky notes in your favorite color and post some of them on your bathroom mirror, on the bottom edge of your computer screen, or on your fridge. Only use the ones that reflect your own goals. And keep this book in a place you pass by every day, so that you can pull out new affirmations when your goals evolve and change—just as you do.
You may notice that most of the affirmations in this book start with something along the lines of “I am” or “I will,” not “I want to” or “I’ll try to.” That’s because in order to shift your mindset, you need to use strong words. If you say “I’ll try to be more positive,” you’re making it easier to avoid hard changes. If you say “I want to inspire others,” you’re repeating empty words. These statements don’t encourage you; they trap you in your old self. Because aren’t you already trying to be more positive? Yes, that’s why you picked up this book. Don’t you already know that you want to inspire others? Of course you do. There’s no thought-shifting there—no improvement.
When you say “I will be more positive,” though, you’re locking yourself into making that improvement. You’ve made a commitment to yourself, one that you aren’t going to take likely. When you say “I am inspiring others,” you remind yourself of the truth. You start to see your actions in a new way; you know they affect others positively. And you start to see yourself in a new light—you know the inspiration you are, the inspiration you were always meant to be.
It doesn’t matter if your chosen affirmations aren’t quite accurate yet. What matters is that they reflect your end goal—where you want to be, not where you see yourself now. They’re instruments of change, and they have to be a little sharper and more forceful than your natural language. So, as you continue your odyssey toward a positive mindset, an improved life, give yourself a leg up and say “I will.” Oh—and say it out loud. No one else has to be around when you do it, anyway, and even a whisper is a more powerful weapon against internal negativity and stagnancy than timid silence. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
The Art of Self-Affirmation:
Pick up the book, randomly open to a quote, and let those words be your guiding thought for the day. If you are REALLY resonating to this power-thought, keep using it every day and let it become your mantra.
Use these inspired ideas in speeches, on your bulletin board, in your email signature, as your Twitter handle, or on your social media. Hey, if it is your favorite ever Big Thought, get a tattoo on your inner wrist where you see it all the time and are reminded of your personal worth and of the great big, beautiful world we all live in.
Read a few and really “power up” for your day—sort of like getting a booster shot in word form. If you are getting ready to do a presentation, a sales pitch, an interview for your dream job, your next YouTube taping, or any very important date, this affirmation can be the wind in your sails.
Always remember this, you have to think happy to be happy! Xoxox
Just about a third of this book is made of words that I didn’t come up, with from women who are far more successful, well-known, and inspiring than I am. That’s not self-deprecation—I have my fair share of accomplishments—it’s just a fact. They’ve done a lot, and they’ve become a lot. I wanted to include them for a couple of reasons.
First, the more women whose words you and I can relate to, the less alone we’ll feel. This book is here to encourage and uplift you, and what better way to do that than to show you just how many women you can understand and connect with—women that you haven’t even met! These women represent people from all over the world, fighting for causes from a wide spectrum, racking up a myriad of unprecedented achievements. And they’re just like you: human beings who cried when they were born and worked hard every day since that first tear to get where they ended up. It really