Both showered him with motherly love. When Fāṭimah died some fifty years later, the Prophet, who was the ruler of Arabia, personally attended to her preparation of burial. Expressing his grief for her loss, he said:
May God shower His mercy on you, mother. You were to me a mother after I had lost my mother: you went hungry so that I could have enough to eat; you gave me clothes that you were in more need of; you denied yourself the good things of life so that I could enjoy them; and you sought only God’s reward for all that.3
Umm Ayman was a slave woman from Abyssinia who belonged to his father ʿAbdullāh. According to the traditions of the time, she belonged to him after his father’s death. Yet, in Islamic tradition, she is never referred to as a slave, rather, she is always described as his nursemaid. She was a kindly woman who witnessed his childhood from the moment of his birth. She was his only companion when his mother died on the return journey from Madinah when he was only six years of age. She brought him back to his grandfather, who instructed her to look after Muhammad and to never let him out of her sight. She needed no incentive to do that, for the child was dear to her. When he grew up, Muhammad acknowledged her role and reciprocated her kindness. On his marriage to Khadījah, when he was twenty-five, Muhammad set her free. He was later to give her in marriage to Zayd ibn Ḥārithah, who was the dearest man to him. She gave Zayd a son, named Usāmah, whom the Prophet loved as his own child. When Muhammad (peace be upon him) became God’s Messenger, Umm Ayman and her family were among the early converts to Islam. She continued to enjoy his kindness to his last days. He used to say of her: “Umm Ayman is the last of my family, and she was to me a mother after my mother had passed away.”4
In his upbringing, then, Muhammad suffered the loss of his immediate relatives who cared most for him: his parents and grandfather. Yet, he was never away from a family home where he received love, kindness and motherly care. There were many women to love Muhammad and care for him, as he had six paternal aunts who were all kindly and loving.
When we look at Muhammad’s childhood and upbringing, we will not fail to notice that the guiding hand of God was always there to ensure that he did not lack what was necessary for a fine start in life. He lost his dear ones, but he did not lack tenderly love. The question is: how did his particular situation affect his character? For one thing, having to deal with the occurrence of death at such an early age would surely have led him to question the meaning of life. For another, living in an uncle’s home full of cousins would have given him the feeling of being an addition to the family, but not belonging to it. He would have a more detached outlook at whatever affected the family. As he grew up, this would make him more independent in his way of thinking and would broaden his outlook, as he would differentiate between Abū Ṭālib and his other uncles. Moreover, it gave him a more conscious vision of his place in the family and in his tribe. Thus, we see him clinging to his uncle Abū Ṭālib as he embarked on a business trip to Syria. He requested that he travel with his uncle, although it was unusual for a boy to join such a trip at that age. Abū Ṭālib would not hear of it at first, yet not much persuasion was needed and the twelve-year-old boy undertook his first long journey.
Ḥalīmah, his wet nurse, reported that she felt a blessing coming into her family from the moment she took Muhammad from his mother. That blessing manifested itself in the provisions of the family. Bedouins lived on the produce of their sheep, camels and cows. Even in hard times, when grazing was a hard task, her cattle seemed to produce plenty of milk for the family. She associated that with having that fine baby. For this reason, she wanted to keep him beyond the normal term. Abū Ṭālib felt the same. He noticed that when Muhammad joined the family dinner, everyone ate their fill and a little extra was usually left. When Muhammad was absent, the food was hardly enough. Hence, if Muhammad was late, the meal would be delayed until he had arrived. This was merely a subtle observation, as there was no tangible element to it, and Muhammad was not afforded a special status in consequence. Life in his uncle’s home merely went on as usual.
Plenty of stories exist to indicate that the people around Muhammad realized that he was destined for a significant role. One report states, for example, that on his trip to Syria he was recognized by a Christian monk who questioned him closely. The monk advised Muhammad’s uncle to take special care of him and offered a warning that Muhammad must not be recognized by Jews. However, we have no means to confirm the authenticity of such reports. The events were certainly not mentioned by the Prophet, as he ultimately assumed his role as God’s Messenger. Hence, these stories should be taken for what they are worth, and should have no part in the formation of our understanding of Muhammad’s character.
On the other hand, the women who looked after Muhammad during his early life certainly influenced his outlook. Āminah, Ḥalīmah, Umm Ayman and Fāṭimah bint Asad all gave him unmitigated love. This enabled him to understand the role of women in life. His society ill-treated women and gave them a status that was inferior to that of men. In the hierarchy of that society, a slave woman was of a very low status indeed. A wet nurse was not much higher, except for the fact that she was a free woman. In fact, all women were considered to be inferior. In his early years, Muhammad was looked after by two women of lowly status: Ḥalīmah and Umm Ayman. He realized that he owed them much love. Hence, it was not difficult for him later, as God’s Messenger, to stress women’s equal status. To his last day, he advocated women’s rights in every form. He often repeated his warnings against denying orphans and women their rights, as these represented two of the weakest elements in human society.
Muhammad lived with his uncle until he became an adult. Despite his honourable position in Makkah, Abū Ṭālib was a man of limited means. Times were tough, and apparently he was not very successful in business. In addition to this, he had a large family. Therefore, when Muhammad came back to Makkah with his uncle after their business trip to Syria, Muhammad felt that he had to do something to ease his uncle’s burden. He wanted to work, but there was little to do in Makkah at the time. Makkah had no agriculture, as the city was encircled by mountains and very little rain fell at any time. Nor was it deemed respectable for a free Arab – let alone one belonging to a distinguished family – to undertake any manual jobs, as these belonged to slaves and servants. Makkah prospered because of two factors: trade and the status of the Kaʿbah at its centre. The Kaʿbah attracted visitors throughout the year, but at the time of the annual pilgrimage, people came in their thousands. What was there for an adolescent to do, then? The only employment a teenager could have in Makkah at the time, without casting a blemish on his standing, was to be a shepherd. So, Muhammad worked as a shepherd, bringing in a small wage that helped his uncle’s family finances.
A shepherd’s occupation allows much time for contemplation and reflection. As he took his sheep to graze, Muhammad’s only duty was to watch them, ensuring that none went astray or was stolen by a passing Bedouin. Such a job fitted very well with Muhammad’s docile temperament and his position in a family home, in which he stood somewhat apart. He did not speak about those years, and did not tell us in which directions his thoughts took him. He has, however, told us something very significant: that all past Prophets spent some time in their early lives as shepherds. Is the job particularly suitable as preparation for the role of a Prophet? Camel attendants speak of their herd as a community in which every single camel has his own distinctive character. Does this apply to sheep as well? A shepherd endowed with insight and intelligence would be able to look at his flock as individuals and identify them by their special features. Contemplation and reflection would enable such a shepherd to carry that to the wider community and reflect on what distinguishes and influences human characters. Perhaps it is this opportunity to reflect on man, life, aims and destiny that makes a shepherd’s job particularly suitable as preparation for a Prophet’s future role.
The role of a Prophet is a very special one. No human experience can make a person ready to assume it. No instructor or institution can provide training for it. Since God chooses the individuals who undertake this task, He provides them with the necessary preparation. Without such help, preparation and guidance, no one can meet the requirements of the task or successfully undertake it. Muhammad’s preparation for his future task started in his early days. He once explained his exceptional mastery of the Arabic tongue, stating that he had two very good elements contributing to it: belonging to the Quraysh and spending his early years among the Saʿd ibn Bakr tribe. Thus,