Deborah Gold

Counting Down


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      COUNTING DOWN

       COUNTING DOWN

      A Memoir of Foster Parenting and Beyond

       Deborah Gold

       Michael M.

      OHIO UNIVERSITY PRESS

      ATHENS, OHIO

      Ohio University Press, Athens, Ohio 45701

       ohioswallow.com

      © 2018 by Ohio University Press

      All rights reserved

      To obtain permission to quote, reprint, or otherwise reproduce or distribute material from Ohio University Press publications, please contact our rights and permissions department at (740) 593-1154 or (740) 593-4536 (fax).

      The essays listed below previously appeared in different form in the following publications:

      “Cleaning Up for DSS” appeared as “Cleaning Up for D.S.S.” in Water~Stone Review

      “Cody” appeared as “Cody, Age 14 (or 15, if you ask him)” in Gargoyle

      “DSS: Department of Social Services” appeared as “D.S.S.: Department of Social Services” in Hotel Amerika

      “Counting Down: Reunification” appeared as “Counting Down” in Press 53 Open Awards Anthology 2011 and, in abridged form, in Fostering Families Today magazine

      “She Said Yes” appeared in Floyd County Moonshine

      “Gel Pens” appeared in J Journal, literary journal of the John Jay College of Criminal Justice

      “The Pickup Line” appeared in abridged form as “The Pick-Up Line” in Fostering Families Today magazine

      All names and place names have been changed, along with many identifying details. This is my own recollection of events, which I’ve related to the best of my knowledge. I am grateful to all the family members and professionals who have supported these children and allowed them to become part of our lives.

      Printed in the United States of America

      Ohio University Press books are printed on acid-free paper

      28 27 26 25 24 23 22 21 20 19 18 5 4 3 2 1

      Library of Congress Control Number: 2017959985

      And it seemed as though in a little while the solution would be found, and then a new and glorious life would begin; and it was clear to both of them that the end was still far off, and that what was to be most complicated and difficult for them was only just beginning.

      —Anton Chekhov, The Lady with the Pet Dog

       Contents

      Mine & Yours, poem by Michael, age thirteen

       I. A Foster Family’s Initiation

       Zero to One Hundred

       The Questions

       II. Learning the Road

       DSS: Department of Social Services

      Dry Creek Drive: The Highway to Hell, essay by Michael

      The Poem of Hell on Earth, poem by Michael

       Counting Down: Reunification

       The Pickup Line

       Gel Pens

      In a Prison, essay by Michael

      What’s in Your Toolbox? poem by Michael

      A Fork in the Road, essay by Michael

       Cleaning Up for DSS

       She Said Yes

      Shepherd’s Way, essay by Michael

       III. Reading around the Curves

       Cody

       The Fast and the Furious, or Other Visions of Cody

       IV. Door to Door, House to House

      Halloween, essay by Michael

       Hallowtide

      Uncle Jonah, essay by Michael

      Make It Stop Now, poem by Michael

       Coda: Coin in the Air

       Mine & Yours

      —Michael, age thirteen

      In my life,

      we had to hide the knife.

      In your life,

      you grew up right.

      In my car,

      we couldn’t drive too far.

      In your car,

      you could probably go for a tour.

      In my kitchen,

      they talked of snitchin’.

      In your kitchen,

      all you could smell is chicken.

      Near the trees

      is where we grew the weed.

      Near your trees,

      you could hear the bees.

      On my land,

      there were lots