Indians’ outfielder Shin-Soo Choo offering insights into Jered Weaver, who pitched a shutout against the Angels: “He was using his fastball early and then throwing his changeup and curveball in hitters’ counts. He was hitting the inside corner and the outside corner.”14
How did Jelena Jankovic blow three match points to nearly lose to Elena Dementieva in the finals of a women’s tennis event? “I couldn’t believe, you know, that I was able to win this match,” Jankovic said. “At 5–4 and three match points on my serve, I thought I was going to win right there. And then all of a sudden, she was going for broke on those points and she took her chances. It was tough for me to accept that I lost that game.”15
Both quotes allow readers to get inside an athlete’s head.
West Virginia football coach Bill Stewart relies on clichés in the following quote, which offers no insights into the team’s season: “It’s going to be a long grind,” Stewart said. “It’s going to be 12 hard-fought games, but it’s going to be great for college football and great for this league.”16 What will be the biggest challenge for the season? How will the team cope with a difficult schedule? Ask questions to solicit quotes that are worth reading.
And in the following quote, what exactly did Alabama football coach Nick Saban really say about his team’s preseason workout? “It was good to get the first scrimmage behind us. It was good to see guys go out there in competitive situations, and see who could step their game up. Obviously, those guys who have a little more experience, have more playing time behind them and a little more confidence usually have a better opportunity to be successful.”17 Saban says very little beyond the obvious.
Don’t waste space with quotes unless they offer new information, expert opinion—or are entertaining. At times, you may even want to lead with an entertaining quote:
▸ Miami coach Pat Riley after his team, then 11–46, won, to end an 11-game losing streak: “I feel like a mosquito in a nudist colony. I know what to do. I just don’t know where to start.”18
▸ Boston Celtics coach Doc Rivers when asked how many more games Kevin Garnett would miss with a strained abdominal muscle: “You know Doc’s a nickname, correct?”19
▸ PGA Tour player Rory Sabbatini: “Lick the lollipop of mediocrity once and you’ll suck forever.”20
▸ Bowling Green football coach Gregg Brandon after his team lost 63–7 to Tulsa in the GMAC Bowl: “I don’t know what happened. We were out of it before we were in it.”21
Language
Paint a picture. Let readers see what happened. Don’t write that a tailback scored on a 25-yard run, something anybody can write from reading a box score. Instead, show how the tailback made it into the end zone.
Let readers see key passes: “The key play was Cutler’s 38-yard pass to lanky receiver Devin Aromashodu. Cutler perfectly placed the pass as Aromashodu stretched out in front of Giants cornerback Bruce Johnson. It gave the Bears first-and-goal from the 1.”22
Vivid language also enables readers to visualize key plays like this: “That’s when Stroughter, the 233rd pick in April, took over. He took a kickoff at the 5, spun out of some tackles and raced down the sideline until he was pushed out of bounds at the Jaguars 20. Two plays later, McCown fired a 17-yard touchdown to tight end Jerramy Stevens.”23
Notice the active verbs used in both passages above—stretched, raced, pushed and fired. These verbs enable the reader to more clearly imagine what happened. Avoid passive voice—avoid using was, were, is, and are, because the resulting wordier constructions often replace or weaken more visual verbs.
In addition, vary sentences for style and length. Mix longer sentences with shorter ones. Insert phrases and clauses at the beginning, middle, and end of sentences—although not all at once. Don’t lull readers to sleep with sentences that all sound the same, sort of like the tide rhythmically slapping against the side of a dock. On the other hand, too many short, rapid-fire sentences can jolt readers. Take chances, try different punctuation: Do whatever it takes to grab readers’ attention (and retain it throughout the story).
Story Scan: Breaking Down A Game Story
On deadline, sports writers rarely have time to develop a longer theme-based story. Instead, they address key plays, trends, and stats, while recording who won and lost. Later versions of the story, something Associated Press calls “write-thrus,” may include a feature approach, telling the story behind the final outcome. That’s always a good idea. Readers can get the basic information from many sources, so look for stories that reveal something more about the game. Matt Daniels, at the time a senior at Eastern Illinois University, wrote the following story for The Daily Eastern News after a football game.
But, first, let’s review some elements in all stories—characters, setting, plot, and point of view, all driven by conflict. In sports, the larger conflict is clear—one team wants to defeat another. But what about those smaller conflicts? The rookie offensive guard matched up against the all-conference defensive end. The quarterback playing against the team that once cut him, thinking he was too old. The volleyball libero diving for kill shots with a broken left wrist. The golfer with a degenerative leg ailment struggling to play during the final holes. Or in the story below, a rookie running back forced to play after the star runner gets injured in a key conference game. The stories are endless if you do the research and cover a beat diligently.
HEADLINE: Adeniji Gives Warrior Effort
BYLINE: Matt Daniels, Eastern Illinois University
Alternative Game Approaches
Landof10.com is one of several media entities that offers alternative story formats built around either questions or a list of things learned. These types of stories can run alone or supplement additional coverage; they can also run on deadline or for a print edition a few days afterward.
Scott Dochterman, who covers Iowa athletics for this Cox News vertical, says the format offers a quick synopsis and enables writers to expand on important but overlooked sequences, such as an 8–0 run late in the second half that might encumber a narrative—especially if the run did not greatly affect the final outcome.
“In the new media world, we report an instant recap to provide insight into what just happened,” says Dochterman. He continues,
This is helpful for people who want a quick synopsis immediately following the game without the narrative. Then we provide a transcript of what the coach said following the game. In many ways, this is important for fans who want an unfiltered version with context of the coach’s news conference. Say the basketball coach didn’t call a timeout in the waning seconds and his or her team took a poor shot. The fans want to know why. This quickly gives them that perspective. After providing the quick analysis and transcript, then I delve into a narrative that often revolves around the game’s big-picture meaning.
You could also develop