pain and loss. I like to call this “living life to the fullest.” In the midst of profound change, I return to the sanctuary of the wonderful moment and eventually touch the great joy within. I owe this to my practice. Happiness is a state of grace I experience most of the time, regardless of whether I am supplied with what I “think” that I need.
The happiness you feel through enlightenment is not something you might experience in some lifetime to come. It is attainable in the next breath, as you sit and then serve others. The only fee required is to pay attention.
Chop wood, carry water. What is the sound of one hand clapping? The long-sought-after experience of enlightenment among seekers is at times considered out of reach, attainable by only the disciplined sages of the Far East.
In my early studies, I assumed that only years of practice, consisting of hours of meditation each day, or even an inevitable expedition to the peaks of the Himalayas penetrating the ashram of a wizened or withering guru, were the ways to capture this elusive experience. I discovered a different truth altogether as I began to actually practice meditation. Enlightenment is available to everyone.
I do a daily practice of meditation as part of my working Step Eleven. It doesn’t include sitting upon a meditation cushion praying for enlightenment. Rather, I sit and observe what arises, always returning to my breath. This simple act of coming back to the moment again, and then again, is my practice. The doorway to enlightenment is not the entrance to a cave, but the simplicity of being in and staying in the moment. Enlightenment is not a mirage, nor is it a game show that we somehow “win.” Enlightenment is a life choice, if not a vocation.
Anyone who has experienced joy or bliss arising from within, for no worldly reason, can attest to the fact that they had no power in manipulating this experience. This is where the paradox comes into play. It is suggested to meditate every day, and yet we are told to expect nothing, that even this actual craving for enlightenment can cause more separation and greater suffering. We just sit and observe thoughts, paying attention to the sensations that arise, placing no labels or expectations on them.
The experience Bill W. (the founder of AA) had in his hospital room seemed to come out of nowhere. There were no days of extended meditation that preceded this event. When Eckhart Tolle, author of The Power of Now, awoke and was suddenly struck by enlightenment, he found himself sitting on park benches with feelings of bliss for the next two years. These experiences seem more like a gift than something people can consciously orchestrate in their lives. These examples of enlightenment are as personal as they are universal. Anecdotes such as these are proof positive that miracles are real because they forever alter the life of the recipient.
Enlightenment can seem like a random awakening, a strangely delivered gift. And those who are truly enlightened seem equally gracious in sharing how they came into contact with this experience. So it seems that enlightenment is based not on selfish evolution, but rather on a clarion call sent out to those who will listen.
There’s an abundance of spiritual books describing enlightenment and transcendental states of consciousness; some recount different levels the soul must experience to obtain complete freedom. Such writings often leave the reader longing for an experience that seems to be kept behind lock and key, forever hidden in some mystery school or discipline practiced in a far-off land.
When grace snatches me out of the hands of ego, and I find myself present, I cannot deny feeling grace’s presence. It’s like landing in the lap of the divine. The joy and bliss that arise in that moment cannot be described with mere words. Is there more to enlightenment than being caught up in the moment? Maybe, maybe not.
After forty-plus years of practice, I’m drawn to the simplicity of being present; I will remain open to the possibility that there is more. Perhaps my patience is an indication that I have glimpsed enlightenment. My duty now is to continue the practice and help shine a light for others to see.
Living each moment of the day with mindfulness is the switch that, when flipped, awakens the spirit, preparing us for enlightenment, which can come at any moment. We never know when enlightenment will strike. But it seems that it is a reality, and we must be in the present moment to receive its life-altering grace.
Metta is the practice of sending loving kindness to oneself and others. It teaches us a deep compassion for life. Being mindful of loving kindness can promote forgiveness to those it is directed toward. In the teachings of the Buddha, metta is a form of prayer; just as you are directed to pray for others, sending loving kindness creates the same container (conditions) to work within.
I have always been told when praying for self or others to follow it with the words Thy will be done. This neutralizes the request and carries with it the acknowledgment that I may not know what is good for others or even myself. When sending out metta, we always start with the word may: May I experience a life of love or May others experience joy within. The use of the word may takes the demand out of the request, thus becoming the neutralizer.
Metta can be your whole meditation practice. It differs from mindfulness, where we observe thoughts that arise and continually return to our breath. Sending out loving kindness is an action-based meditation. When I lead a meditation sitting, I let people know that I will ring the bell to signal the group that the remaining minutes will be spent practicing metta. I find that ending my meditation in this way provides a lovely balance to my practice.
When on retreat, you may find yourself practicing many times a day, for many days in a row. Some retreats have walking meditation times; this physicality, combined with mindfulness, breaks up the practice of sitting all day on the meditation cushion. Bringing metta into your meditative practice can help feelings that arise from long periods of sitting. Feelings about life situations can and do arise; we can feel our hearts empty out. Feelings of despondency can appear, and we can use metta to send loving kindness, for example, “May my heart be filled with love and compassion,” or “May I be led to right understanding of what is.”
When sitting upon the meditation cushion for long periods, we may send love to our cramped legs and aching bodies. Our egos can tell us that if we don’t move and stretch we will never walk again, but by sending love and appreciation to our body temple we can work through our physical pains. We see and then experience the sensations of the impermanence of our thoughts.
Metta and prayer are both essential principles that should be called upon with routine frequency as we move through a life that seems to lash out at us with chaos and doubt. To watch the news in today’s world will bring tears to the eyes of many, sometimes followed by feelings of powerlessness to reach out and help so many in need. Practicing metta teaches us to embrace compassion; we learn to put love into action, with opportunities arriving in each moment.
There are many ways to be of service to a life that is starved, sometimes by giving money, sometimes by giving your time, but always by silently sending out loving kindness to the hearts of others. Close your eyes now. Someone in your life needs compassion; maybe it’s you. Silently project the words May love be felt within the heart.
Just as entering the twelve-step arena can ruin the “enjoyment” of using, practicing mindfulness meditation can “ruin” living in the past or the future. The daily practice of Step Eleven can eventually become our most important moment of the day. The goal is to carry those moments of mindfulness with