after they get you right where they need you to be....
I took a quick shower, put on some lotion, and got back into bed. I rubbed his chest as I rested my head on him. Whatever this was, I wanted to take my time so it could last were my thoughts before I dozed off.
Imani Gibson
I was happy the weekend was over. Today was Corey’s funeral, and even though we didn’t end on good terms, I still wanted to pay my respects. I got up and walked to Josiah’s room and peeped in on him. He was lying on his bed, playing on his phone. I knocked on the door before I pushed it open.
“Can I talk to you for a minute?” I said as I sat on the edge of his bed.
“What’s up?” He looked at me like I had interrupted him.
“Well, I know that I haven’t always been the best mom to you, but I did my best and made sure you never went without. What I’m trying to tell you is that my decisions were not always the best, but as your mother, I had to make moves so we could be all right.”
I paused.... I had to gather my thoughts.
“Ma, get it over wit’. All this sentimental stuff I ain’t tryin’a hear all that,” he said.
It took me by surprise. Why was Josiah acting like this?
“Boy, what I’m trying to say is that I’m sorry I lied to you about who your father is. I only wanted what’s best for you. The truth is that Corey was your real father, and he got killed the other day.”
“You lied to me because you’re a fucking whore. You didn’t do shit for me. You did it because you wanted to hold on to that bum-ass nigga. Now, you’re telling me that my real father is dead. So, I’ll never get a chance to talk to him or bond with him, because your dumb ass lied. I fucking hate you. I wish you wasn’t my mom.”
I sat there frozen as the words that came out of my son’s mouth pierced my soul. How could he say these things to me? I gave him life. Everything I did, I did for him. Tears filled my eyes and eventually flooded my face.
I reached over to touch him. I wanted to let him know that I was sorry. Sorry for robbing him of the chance to meet his father. Now, it will never happen.
“B-babyyyy—”
“Don’t touch me. You know when I was young, I looked up to you. You was everything to me, but now, I see that all that shit was a fantasy. You messing wit’ that woman’s husband, and you letting that nigga beat on you, and you still fuck with him. I swear, I can’t wait until I’m eighteen. I’m going to move far away from you.”
I continued crying. I tried to talk, but the words wouldn’t come out. After a moment, I got myself together, and then I spoke.
“First of all, you not goin’ be up in my shit disrespecting me. Regardless of what you might think, I am still your fucking mother. And for the record, Hassan was my man before that bitch got her paws on him. So, before you start speaking on some shit that you have no idea about, get your fucking facts straight,” I spat.
He stood up and stepped toward me. “Are you saying you want me out? Just say the word, Mother.”
I slapped him in the face. “Don’t you fucking try me, little boy.”
“Bitch, that’s the last time you will put your hands on me ever, I swear.” He stormed out of the room and walked out the front door, slamming it behind him.
“Noooo,” I dropped to my knees and screamed out.
Within a couple of months, I lost everything in my life. First, Hassan, then my unborn child, and now Josiah. He was all I had left. I got up and ran to the door to see if he was outside, but he was gone. My baby was gone.
* * *
After the incident with Josiah, I didn’t feel like going to Corey’s funeral. I had to push myself, though. At one point, we were cool, and this was the last time I would ever see him. I bought myself a nice black dress with some heels. I knew I had to be on my A-game because Corey’s other hoes might be there. I knew news traveled fast, so the fact that we had a baby together was public information.
I walked into the packed church and felt all eyes on me. I took a deep breath and continued walking up to the front so that I could take one last look at him. I don’t know why my eyes filled with tears as I stared at the dark, swollen figure in the casket. He had little or no resemblance to the Corey I knew. I figured the bullets from the gunshots did him like that. I wiped my eyes, turned, and walked away.
Throughout the entire service, you could hear screams, especially when the pastor was telling all those lies about “how great of a man he was.” Don’t get me wrong. I don’t think he was a bad dude, but he was far from the great person they were painting him to be. I couldn’t take any more of this, so I got up to leave. I tiptoed out with my head hung down low until I reached the front of the church.
“I have no idea why you would show your face up in here. You ain’t welcome.”
I lifted my head and noticed Corey’s dumb-ass sister, blocking my path.
“Listen, bitch, I came to show my respect to a friend. You need to chill out. You wouldn’t want to create a scene at your brother’s funeral.”
“You know what? You put my brother through so much shit—even on his deathbed. You have no shame to come up in here. You are not welcome here, so get the fuck out. I regret that my brother didn’t live longer, so he could find out that you wasn’t nothing but a whore.”
“You silly bitch, I ain’t did shit to him. I gave him some pussy, and he fell in love. Shit, I heard you on females. I promise, if I gave you this good pussy, you’d be sprung too. Now, let me get out of here before I show my ass.”
“You nasty ho. You fucked my brother and his boy, and just so you know, yes, I like clean bitches. Not a thirsty-ass ho like you. Now get yo’ ass on before I get you thrown out.” She walked back into the crowd.
I was furious that this bitch felt like she had the right to speak on some shit that she had no idea about.
“Rest in peace, Corey,” I mumbled, then walked down the steps and out into the pouring rain. I didn’t run for shelter, nor did I care about my newly sown in Malaysian weave. I took off my heels and walked slowly in the rain as it pounded down on my head. My tears mingled with the raindrops. I had no idea what I was crying about. I just knew that I was tired of all the shit that was going on in my life. I was ready to start over.
Chapter Eight
Destiny Clarke
The divorce papers were filed, and my lawyer informed me that Hassan was going to be served this week. We had so much evidence on him from the pictures that Spencer gave me to the evidence that the forensic accountant found. That bastard had money stashed away in different accounts in different countries. I couldn’t believe that after I helped him to get on his feet, he would hide some money from me, and how dumb was I for thinking that he was playing fair. Now, it all made sense. I used to wonder where all the money he made from the firm went. Now, I had the evidence in front of me. I was going to court with full ammunition against him. My lawyer was asking for half of everything he got while we were married. Also, he asked for alimony. It’s only fair that I get what belongs to me. After all, it was my money that helped him.
After I left the lawyer’s office, I stopped at the fish market and grabbed some fresh whiting. I hadn’t cooked in a while, and Amaiya called me out on that earlier. To be honest, I used to love cooking for Hassan, but now that we’re done, I hated to even go into the kitchen. My daughter brought me back to reality, though. She was more important, and even though she often fixed her own meals, once in a while, Mommy got to throw down in the kitchen for her.
It was a warm day outside, so after I finished cooking, I decided to do some spring cleaning. I started with my room. I was ready to turn over a new leaf, so getting rid of everything that belonged