say sorry if something very bad has happened. So I knew right then what the pain in my stomach was. And I saw the policeman leave and the hat was in his hand but not on his chest any more like the Bad News had been in there and set free. And I saw Mum and she saw me but didnt see me properly and she went to the corner of the hall by the radiator and sat down in a ball and cried and shook her head in her hands and said No no no no no and everywhere round us looked the same but bigger and I wanted to go and tell her it was OK but that would have been a lie and so I just sat there and did nothing.
The Terrors
Dads Ghost came back later on when everyone had left the Pub and I was in my bedroom.
Dads Ghost flickered on and at first he looked like he was in too much pain to speak but then he said Philip dont be scared of me.
I said Im not.
He said I have to tell you someth
He flickered out and then came back.
He said It wasnt an accident.
I said What?
He said It wasnt an accident son.
I said What do you mean?
He said Look out of the window.
I said What?
He said Look out of the window.
I got up out of the bed and I got inside the curtain and I looked out at the car park and the street light showed it was empty except for the Ka car.
He said Can you see them?
I said Who?
He said There by the Bottle Banks.
I looked at the three Bottle Banks that the Council made Dad put at the back of the car park.
I looked on the left side and there was a shopping trolley with a plastic bag trapped in one of the wheels and it was flapping in the wind like it wanted to escape.
He said To the right of them.
I looked on the other side of the Bottle Banks and I couldnt see anything just the wall with the concrete posts and the slab that was missing.
He said Theyre all there cant you see them?
I said Who?
He said The Club.
I said What Club?
He said The Dead Fathers Club.
I made my eyes hurt trying to see but it still looked like there was no one there.
I came out of the curtain and said Whats the Dead Fathers Club?
I asked the question too loud because I heard Mum roll over in the next room because she still wasnt sleeping and she said Philip?
I said Yes?
She said What are you doing?
I looked at Dads Ghost and he had his finger on his lips and he was shaking his head.
Dads Ghost said Mum cant know any of this.
I said nothing.
Mum said Try and get some sleep.
I said Yes.
And then Mum said Night.
And I said Night.
And I didnt say anything else I just listened to Dads Ghost tell me about the Dead Fathers Club.
The Dead Fathers Club are ghosts of Dads in Newark who meet near the Pub because most of them went there because it is the oldest Pub in town.
They dont meet inside because ghosts flicker out more easily inside than outside and it makes no difference when you are a ghost because you dont feel the cold and your legs dont get tired from standing up.
I said in a whisper so Mum couldnt hear Are there any Romans in the Dead Fathers Club?
Dads Ghost said Romans?
I nodded my head and said Roman soldiers?
He said No but theres a Victorian.
I said Oh.
Victorians werent as good as Romans but Dads Ghost looked sad that I wasnt interested in the Victorian so I said Whats his name?
Dads Ghost said No one knows his name so they just call him the Victorian.
I said Why dont they ask his name?
Dads Ghost said He doesnt speak.
I got into bed and I said Did someone chop out his tongue?
He said No they didnt.
Dads Ghost didnt say anything for a bit he just stood there and I just watched him and I saw my fish tank inside his stomach.
Then Dads Ghost said The Terrors got to him.
I said The Terrors?
Dads Ghost said They get to every ghost in the end.
I pulled up my duvet and said What are the Terrors?
He then said what the Terrors were and when he told me I felt my blood go cold inside my body and after he told me Dads Ghost flickered out a bit and I saw his face screaming in the flicker but I couldnt hear the scream.
Then he said Most ghosts suffer on their own but its easier if you can talk to others.
I said Is that why theres the Club?
And I think he said Yes but I dont know because he flickered out and went into the Terrors and I said Dad? Dad? Dad? but he didnt come back.
Mum said Philip?
I didnt say anything I just went under the duvet but I couldnt get to sleep.
Guppy Number Six
It was early in the morning and I was thinking about what Dads Ghost meant when he said it wasnt an accident. I wanted him to come back and tell me but he didnt. I looked out of the window at the Bottle Banks but he wasnt there and so I just sat on the end of my bed looking at my tropical fish.
I was just thinking it must be weird living in a tank just swimming and waiting for food to drop down. I didnt know if it was nice or not nice being a fish in a tank doing nothing. I thought it must be nice because they dont fight each other they all get on. The Neons and the Guppies and the Mollies and the Angelfish. They never bite each other. I kept looking and I thought something was wrong something was weird and I counted the Guppies
and I kept looking for another big tail but it wasnt there so I lifted up the lid and felt the warmness of the water on my face. I saw the Guppy upside down on the water and it was white. That is what happens when Guppies die. The colour goes out of them so they are just bodies just white bodies. And the other fish were just swimming below not minding that they will one day be upside down and the colour all gone out of them and I asked in my head Where do the colours go? and I didnt know.
I got the net and fished out the Guppy and the net went in the water and the other fish were scared of the net and swam fast away from it and they had to turn round because the tank wasnt a river like the Amazon which is where they are from. I got the Guppy out and let the water drip down like rain like tears and I said Its OK the nets gone.
And all the other fish calmed down now the net was out and went back to normal.
I took the dripping net to the toilet and I pushed the Guppy out of it and flushed the chain and it was free out of its tank going to the river but not the Amazon and I put the net back next to the tank and I sniffed up all my snot and swallowed it. I heard Mum turn over in bed and then one minute later the phone rang and I ran downstairs to answer it in case Mum was asleep.
I picked up the phone and I said Hello.
The