Karen Mueller Bryson

Retro Geeks


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Molly. Hey, Ally. Did you hear voting for prom theme starts today?”

      Molly and Ally replied to Kimmie simultaneously. “We heard.”

      “Don't forget to vote. Every vote counts, you know.”

      “We know,” Molly and Ally countered.

      Kimmie handed Molly a flyer then trotted away. The flyer read: Pick Caribbean Pirates for prom theme.

      “A pirate-themed prom?” Molly scoffed. “Lame.”

      Molly crushed the flyer into a ball and tossed it over her shoulder. It landed on a nerdy freshman’s head. The girls then continued to their lockers to gather their gear for their first class. The pair took every class together. They had since seventh grade.

      The 4-H King, Tucker Reed, in the requisite cowboy boots, flannel shirt and Wranglers, approached the duo. Tucker was a bit of a hottie, even if he was a cowboy.

      “Voting for prom theme starts today. I thought you ladies should know,” he said.

      “We know,” Molly said briskly. She had no time for totally uncool cowboys.

      Tucker winked at Ally and she gave him a big smile. Sensing impending danger of the flirtation kind, Molly edged between the two.

      “We'll get our votes in,” Molly said. “Don't worry.”

      “Only one month till prom,” Tucker reminded them.

      Tucker tried to get closer to Ally but Molly blocked him.

      “You probably already have a date for the occasion,” Tucker said to Ally but hoped the opposite.

      Molly cut in before Ally could respond. “We really have to get to class.”

      Molly slammed both lockers shut simultaneously, jarring both Ally and Tucker. As Molly grabbed Ally by the arm and dragged her down the hall, Ally turned and gave Tucker a wistful look.

      “Don't forget to get those votes in,” Tucker said as Ally disappeared into homeroom.

      Once they were in class, Molly gave Ally her most vicious of looks. It was definitely an if-looks-could-kill look, or maybe worse, an if-looks-could-spontaneously-combust-a-person-and-turn-her-to-ash-on-the-spot look.

      “What was that all about?” Molly screeched.

      “What do you mean?” Ally replied.

      Molly took a seat in the front row and Ally sat down next to her.

      “You were practically falling all over that hick,” Molly continued not holding back any of the disdain she felt for Tucker.

      “He's kind of cute,” Ally admitted.

      “He's completely country. He wears Wranglers. And cowboy boots!”

      Second period, Molly and Ally found themselves standing at a lab table, staring in horror at the dead pig they were assigned to dissect. There were very few things in high school more disgusting than dissection lab.

      “What are we supposed to do with this thing?” Molly whined, poking the dead pig with her pencil.

      “Do you think we should try to dissect it?” Ally asked.

      “Gag me,” Molly said making a vomiting gesture. “I think I'm going to barf.”

      Dylan Tanaka, an introspective boy of Asian-American descent, approached the girls' table.

      “It looks like you could use some help with your dissection,” he said.

      “What was your first clue?” Molly said coyly.

      “You haven't even sliced your pig open yet.”

      Molly stared at the beastly carcass. “It's just too gross for words.”

      Dylan lifted the dissection knife and cut the pig from head to tail as Molly and Ally both covered their eyes in disgust.

      “If you don't observe the dissection,” Dylan said. “It kind of defeats the purpose of the exercise.”

      Molly and Ally slowly uncovered their eyes as Dylan continued to slice and dice. “Prom's only a few weeks away,” he said as he did his dirty work.

      Dylan held up one of the pig's organs for the girls to inspect. “This is the liver.”

      The girls gagged as Dylan placed the liver back in the pig. “I heard they're going with a live band this year instead of a deejay.”

      Dylan held up another organ for the girls to see. “This is the heart. But you probably already guessed that.”

      The girls gave each other a look of dread. The sight of the ghastly pig corpse, now in pieces all over the table, was even worse than they had imagined.

      Dylan, who planned to be a physician one day, enjoyed biology and was happy to help his crush, Molly, and her BFF complete their dissection. He continued, “I heard we're voting for prom theme today.”

      Dylan pulled up the pig's intestines for the girls to see. “The intestines, of course.”

      The girls gagged once again. The intestines looked like the school cafeteria’s pasta delight.

      “Prom should be quite a romantic evening for the right couple,” Dylan remarked as he gazed longingly at Molly.

      But the girls could not take their eyes off of the horror show that was the dissected pig.

      CHAPTER FOUR: ONE THING LEADS TO ANOTHER

      When the lunch bell finally rang, hungry teens rushed into the cafeteria. At the far end of the room, Molly and Ally sat by themselves eating their incredibly nutritious lunches: vanilla ice cream cones with chocolate sprinkles.

      When Ollie approached their table with a tray piled high with appalling cafeteria food, Ally glared at her brother and pointed to the end of the table. Ollie shuffled over and sat in exile in his corner of the table. He heaved a heavy sigh and stared at his tray. Ollie didn’t really want to sit with his sister but his friends had been assigned to an earlier lunch period. Sitting with Ally and Molly was one step above eating alone.

      “We still haven't managed to get rid of him,” Ally said.

      “He looks like a sad puppy-dog,” Molly observed.

      “Please don't encourage him,” Ally continued. “The only way he stays is if we pretend he's not with us.”

      “You're not being a very good big sister,” Molly said, trying to make her feel guilty but not succeeding.

      “I am, too,” Ally said. “I'm letting him sit at our table.”

      “Barely.”

      “He's close enough.”

      Meanwhile, at the other end of the cafeteria, two senior football players, twins Tank and Hank, carried in two tables, which Elisa and Megan then readied with voting boxes, ballots, pens, etc.

      Back at Molly’s and Ally's table, Molly said, “Oh, look, they're setting up the voting for prom theme,” then rolled her eyes.

      “Maybe we'll actually get to go this year,” Ally said wistfully.

      “If we can get dates,” Molly reminded her.

      Ollie's big head was suddenly right next to Molly’s. “You'll always have a prom date as long as I'm around,” he said and grinned.

      Ally scoffed at the utter absurdity of the idea. “She didn't want to go with you to junior prom last year. What makes you think she'd go with you this year?”

      Molly and Ally didn’t get to go to their junior prom because none of the boys their own age invited them. They didn’t want to miss senior prom but going with little Ollie was not going to cut it.

      “Maybe she’ll consider me as a potential date