Driven Class America. Cory Psy.D. Ash

callous and accepted that I was a reflection of my circumstance instead of reflecting determination on my circumstances. I accepted set back for a couple of months. Then I decided to break out of my funk. I had to change.

      Chapter 4 - Excuse Me for a Minute

      My desire to change led me to my parents in Germany. I never told them why, and they did not ask. Nevertheless, I had to tell Erica. I could not explain it, but I just needed some time. I was not leaving her and Eric, but I was not helping them in this condition. I was a failure with limited options, and relapse triggers everywhere I turned. I made the trip to Germany my dad picked me up in Frankfurt.

      It was a two hour drive that evening from the airport to my dad’s house. He asked me about my plans. I told him that in high school, I took the Armed Services Vocational Aptitude Battery, and I scored high enough to get a great job in the military but I needed time to think about exactly what that meant. I wanted to do something that I enjoyed doing like programming so I had to see what the Air Force had to offer.

      Months passed by without any environmental triggers for relapse. I was cured. Not so fast I had one last test. I had found new friends in Germany, who mentioned going to Amsterdam, Holland and sampling the vast amount of weed there. That day I had solved the problem. Weed wasn’t this disastrous drug that does terrible things to people. Heck I had started smoking cigarettes then, like that was the lesser of the two evils. No, the problem was the effect weed had on me. From there on out it was behind me. My break from real life and responsibility was interrupted. I took this as a sign that I cannot live like an ostrich with my head in the sand; I am what I chose to be. I chose to be weed free and pry opportunity from the kung fu grip of my circumstances. I leapt into my next move.

      I did not go to Amsterdam that weekend. The next week I was in the Air Force recruiter’s office with my dad. The recruiter had my scores, and he asked me what I "wanted to do." I said, "I am pretty good with computers," which I was but there was no bonus. I needed a job yes, but I needed a quick fix. A couple thousand dollar bonus would get me on my way and ease the transition for me and my family. So we found the career field with the highest enlistment bonus, it was called Avionics Technician. I signed all the papers except those listing my dependents. I told him I would sign them in a few weeks.

      I called Erica and made arrangements to get back to Columbus. She and Eric picked me up in Atlanta. We drove to her mother’s house, and her family barbecued. I caught up on everything that I had missed. When Erica's dad Chuck and I were alone I asked him if I could marry his daughter, he said yes. It was her mom, Battle Axe Val I called her, which would be the challenge. I would have preferred not to ask, but I had to. See Val was a holy roller, Bible thumper, and a tough parent. She had no problems letting me know, in no uncertain terms, what kind of man she thought I would turn out to be.

      I needed her blessings. I needed to do the right thing by her and make my wife an honest woman. I kept at over about two days. Val wasn’t easy to convince of my capabilities or determination to provide. I thought to myself, I had envisioned this going a lot different! First I had to get the scriptures then subjected to testing of sorts of life pop quiz questions. And I had better not had side-stepped any of her questions. I thought is this the same lady whom I thought I knew? It almost made her mad that I did not know all the answers. Even so, it was all I had. Finally, she gave in. My mother in law and I were off to a rocky start. I planned to work on the relationship later but for now it would have to do.

      Our marriage almost did not happen. We were determined and on May 15, 2001 a day after my 20^th Birthday Erica and I were married. We had a small ceremony at the courthouse in Columbus. That day could not have been more beautiful. I was nervous and a bit sweaty. This was the closest I had ever been to passing out. The judge asked me to swear or affirm, before God and Men that I would take this woman as my lawfully wedded wife for better or for worst….etc. etc . I agreed, thinking that if she is here with now at this time and place, she has seen the worst. I vowed to do better that day starting with being her husband. Our family and friends gathered afterwards. I rationalized that we will celebrate our marriage later when we are more able and capable.

      Two days later I was back at Hartsfield International Airport Atlanta. We were saying our good byes when Erica looked at me and said, “I did not think you were coming back. But...I am glad you did. You had 18 months to get yourself together than I would have had to move on.” I said “really so I had another year. Why did not you tell me?" It was hardest telling my son so long for now. But it did not matter to him, though he was a momma’s boy. I told him, “one day he would have a sister who will drink chocolate milk like daddy and not that strawberry crap that he and mom likes! But for now dad has to go to work.” We loved, laughed, and hugged.