so he did the only thing he knew how to do. He attacked and yelled back: “How can you guys laugh and joke around? Didn’t you hear what I heard today? Khrushchev said, ‘Soviet kids are better and smarter than we are.’”
That didn’t make an impression on anyone. Everyone continued to laugh as though nothing had happened. He heard one of the kids say, “So what? Who cares? Lighten up, Bruce.”
“Who cares? That’s the problem. I care,” replied an angry Bruce.
He felt sick and was disgusted by his friends’ reactions. “Don’t they get it? Didn’t they even listen to what was said today? They should be getting ready for battle instead of laughing and joking. What’s wrong with them?”
He was still angry with Khrushchev and didn’t understand why no one else was. After his outburst and confrontation everyone on the bus decided to leave him alone and it grew quiet. No one wanted to make him any angrier than he already was. The ride home was very subdued.
Feeling desperate, alone and isolated, surrounded by silence and in a state of mind he couldn’t explain he thought, “Maybe Khrushchev was right. I can see the problem clearly and I don’t understand why others can’t. It’s a chilling thought and I don’t want to believe it. I don’t know what I’m going to do or how I’m going to do it, but I will do something.”
The seeds of his mission sprouted and began to grow. He was ready to take action even though his ideas still weren’t clear. “I’m on my own and there isn’t any help coming from anyone. I don’t care if I have to do it by myself. There’s no going back even if my friends won’t listen. I won’t give up!” he promised himself.
In spite of the resistance and opposition that Bruce perceived he decided to go forward even though it seemed like an impossible task. He put the panic attacks and fear behind him and with his head down he took the next step. Bruce felt alone in his quest yet he felt strong and determined to do something. His mission began to take shape. An act of one is all it would take and he was willing and driven to move forward even though the details of his mission weren’t totally clear yet.
A DEFINING MOMENT
The third and last significant event that helped Bruce clarify his mission occurred during the same year, just before homecoming weekend and during football practice. Practice seemed to take on a life of its own. It was almost dark and the practice should have been over an hour earlier. Everyone was exhausted from running sprints. The field lights were on and you could see rain and snow swirling in the glow of the lights. A heavy mist enfolded the field and everything appeared gloomy. The air felt heavy as though fog had been swirling on the ground.
It seemed to the players that practice wasn’t going to end at any time soon. The team kick-off return specialist pulled a hamstring muscle and limped off the field. Instead of ending practice the Coach called Bruce over and said, “Get back there and return kick-offs. He won’t be playing tomorrow.”
You could hear moans coming from all of the players. They were ready to hit the locker room and call it a day. It was Friday night. Practice had already run over one and a half hours. Everyone had stuff to do to get ready for tomorrow’s homecoming game and dance. The Coach didn’t care. He had a personal grudge against Chatham High School, the team they were scheduled to play the next day. They were another archrival and had won the prior year’s game. Coach didn’t want a repeat performance and he wanted to make sure the players understood how important this game was. “Get back on the field and kick that ball!”
Bruce couldn’t believe what the Coach asked him to do. He was angry and felt betrayed. He thought, “What? He’s kidding, right? Does this guy hate me? Why can’t someone else run back kicks? What’s wrong with the running backs sitting on the bench? Tight ends don’t run back kicks. I hate running back kicks!”
Practice was especially tough and Coach seemed unusually hard. Unsatisfied he kept yelling for more and better play: “Get out there. Play full out. No slacking off.”
Bruce was a leader on the team and considered himself a team player. Although he didn’t agree with Coach he ran to get into position and all he could think about was, “We’ve just finished running wind sprints and some of us are probably dehydrated. We’re all exhausted and heaving our guts out. What is he thinking? He’s obviously in a bad mood.”
The field was harder to see but Bruce got in position and took the next kick-off. He fought off tacklers and returned the ball to the twenty-five yard line. The next thing he heard was the Coach screaming, “That’s not good enough. We will never beat Chatham if you continue to play like that. Do it again, as though you mean it this time!”
Bruce couldn’t believe what he heard but he got ready for the next kick-off. He made the catch and took it one yard deep into the end zone so he dropped to his knee. The Coach went berserk and yelled, “We’re not out here till six o’clock in the dark to take knees in the end zone. Now run it back!”
“Man, what’s going on? I can’t do anything right. This isn’t even what I do. I don’t return kick-offs or play special teams.”
Bruce focused and was ready for the next kick-off. “I had better run with it,” he thought.
He caught it on the five-yard line and began to run up the right sideline. He made it to the forty-yard line, and then cut to the middle, running down the left sideline. He thought, “I’m going all the way into the end zone. The way looks clear.”
Suddenly he realized the kicker came out of nowhere and grabbed his shoulder pads. He was slowing down. Bruce tried to shake him off but before he could, he saw a wall of tacklers ready to hit him. All of a sudden there was a loud snap. It was heard echoing across the field. Bruce was furious. He felt his leg go numb and then he had a huge rush of pain! He was down and writhing on the field.
He was angry and in pain. “I’m a really good player, a wide receiver and linebacker. I don’t play on special teams. Tomorrow is a big and important game and now I’m hurt. Thanks a lot, Coach!” he thought.
The Coach and trainers finally arrived on the field. “Don’t move, Bruce. Get off of him slowly,” his Coach yelled.
Bruce heard the trainer say, “It’s a bad break, Coach. He needs to get to the hospital now! Get the life squad out here, NOW!”
A BLESSING IN DISGUISE
Just like that, in a flash, Bruce’s world and life changed in one single moment. His leg was broken in two places. No homecoming game or dance for Bruce. No football scouts from Cornell University to see him play in this important game either. It was a major setback. All he could see for the foreseeable future was surgery, pain and traction in the hospital for a few days, then lots of recovery time that included crutches and no football!
It was Friday night by the time he got to the hospital when he was told he needed surgery. His Mom was with him as he went into surgery. Everything was a blur as he came out of surgery.
When he woke up Saturday morning his Mom was with him and stayed for most of the day. He was in a lot of pain and had nothing but time on his hands, time to think. He was angry with the Coach and thought, “I still don’t understand what happened at practice yesterday. Now, because of the Coach I’m missing the biggest rival game and won’t be going to the homecoming dance with my girlfriend. What was he thinking? Here I am lying in a hospital bed and my football career is over. What’s up with that? This is like some bad dream because of my dumb Coach. I’m done. What am I going to do now? My whole sense of identity and purpose is gone. I’ve got to start over.”
He continued to think, “My father’s still out of town, but maybe it’s okay for now. I’m not ready for a fight with my old man. He’s going to really be angry!”