The Most Important Question. Peep Vain

think so.

      I’ll say it again: You are in Restaurant la Vie. And everything is on the menu.

      Earlier, when I explained the Wheel of Life, you perhaps noticed that we dealt mainly with problem situations, where something was wrong or missing from your life. Maybe it was uninspiring for you. And even though I believe that there are very few people who experience no problems for extended periods of time, I still feel that the problem-centered approach is clearly not enough.

      Let me give you another, more exciting exercise to try out – still based on the Wheel of Life concept. In my seminars I call it the idea of “home.” It circles around a very simple question:

      If everything in your life was just the way you wanted and “just right,” then what would your life be like? I think this is one of the most useful and beautiful questions to help start dreaming. I encourage people to visualize and jot down their best imagination of a “just right” life, based on the parts of the Wheel of Life. Try to look, say, five to seven years into the future. The reason I call it “home” is because usually home is where everything is just right. Or even great. Jot down how circumstances would need to be in different parts of your life so that you’d be really satisfied with them. Dreaming in such a way is really quite practical. Give it a try!

      But to say “dream” or “dream big” isn’t quite enough. To dream well and have it work for you, you have got to do it in a way that eliminates any negative subconscious connotations. Positive dreams often have negative linings. Some people associate dreaming with something they want but will never get – unconsciously attaching it to hopelessness. Other people may find they’ve been habitually dreaming other people’s dreams and wonder why. To them, wishful dreaming or goal-setting may feel downright repulsive.

      I am not trying to depress you. My intent is the opposite – I want to encourage you to think of things, relationships and experiences that are out of your reach now, but that would bring you much satisfaction.

      To take it a step further, let me use a word that I have come to like lately – vision. That is partly what I referred to in the previous paragraph while talking about the concept of “home.” There is a fundamental difference, however. The thought of everything being close to ideal, or all right or in perfect order will probably fill you with warm and cozy feelings of comfort, perhaps will put a broad smile on your face. A compelling vision will make you feel differently. It will fill you with excitement and enthusiasm. It might put that lump in your throat like when you are facing an important challenge. It will make you get off your butt and take action.

      As a younger man, I had many such visions for my future. I believe that where I am today is largely a result of those visions. In recent years, approaching the arithmetic middle of my life, I have also experienced a lack of compelling future visions. I suppose that is one of the reasons I chose to undertake a vision quest in the Native American tradition just before I turned 44. It was a one of the best experiences of my life so far. Within an eight-day period, with a group of 10 people, I spent time in nature, discussing the challenges and choices of life. The central element of the vision quest was a 72-hour stretch during which I fasted alone in the wilderness without any normal distractions (such as a phone, iPod, computer, or books). Not even a watch. Just a notebook and a pen to keep track of your reflections.

      I came out out of the desert invigorated. My vision was not complete and did not stretch for the full period I was hoping for (the second half of my life). But it was great enough to help me make many very important changes within just a three-week period. There were many extremely important learnings and gains that I will not go into here. Let me just say again that having a vision really works – you’ve got have it. Otherwise you will perish in the rut of short-term goals and obligations.

      What is your vision for your life? Or at least for the next stage of your life?