I wish I could have used someone else besides Ralph. He’s really a good guy, if something of a buffoon. This is really going to hurt him … his pride I mean. He was really trying to woo me in his own way. He’s a man’s man though and has no inkling how to treat a woman … none.”
He let the silence leak in again and watched the road. He saw her look in his direction a few times, but she didn’t speak.
He tried to scenario the situation, but a deep calm permeated him and wouldn’t let him think with the urgency that normally guided his rationale. Maybe it was the smell and warmth of the truck. Maybe it was her perfume. He waited.
Finally Agent Denzine said, “Are you hungry?I am … let’s stop and eat something.”
She looked at him and he nodded his assent. They pulled off as if she knew where she was going. A small café in a small strip mall shopping center seemed to be a safe place to relax, although he’d never fully relaxed since undertaking his mission. She seemed hungry for conversation as much as food. He thought she may need some confirmation even though she wouldn’t, or couldn’t accept it outwardly.
He thanked her for her assistance. She reiterated her stand with regard to his mission.
Then he stuck his neck out and said, “Have you ever been married Jen?”
“God no; who would have me with these huge fake boobs and these lips? I’m not even thirty years old and I feel like an old maid hooker.” She grinned unconvincingly.
“You … are a beautiful woman Jen.” She immediately looked in her coffee cup, but kept quiet. Continuing, “Besides that, you’re intelligent and physical enough to have made it through Quantico. Not many ladies do what you’ve done. It sounds trite, but there is someone for everyone. I had mine and I know about what I talk.”
She smiled weakly, looked at him directly and said, “Thank you. There hasn’t been much time to see to my needs during my career. Despite what some people think I’m basically still a good Catholic girl with a man and kids on my mind some of the time. That may be why I feel so driven to get you to a safe haven; so maybe more people can have what my parents had. That and to rescue you from Julie.” She chuckled.
“Rescue me from Julie or the other way around.”
“I think you know what I mean. Julie is smitten. She cried when I told her you were leaving. She tried to make it out the door, but I stopped her. Did you ever have kids?”
“No, my wife had Crone’s and she couldn’t have any. If I‘d had any I would have wanted them to be like Julie and Duncan … and you.”
Jen said, “I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean … .”
“Look … its water under my bridge. Is Julie really going to take care of Teddy?”
“Sure she will. You know she will. She and her brother are great kids.”
“Yeah, and you know her brother is not a kid. He’s your age and a member of the National Guard. He’s intelligent; he’s running his father’s business and could be a great leader someday. I’ll bet he’d go back to college if you asked him.”
She smiled appreciatively at him, “I think it’s time we headed out. You need to quit match making. You’re not much good at it.”
Once they hit U.S. Highway ninety five, he asked where they were going. She admitted she was just going on a hunch, but that as long as they stayed in the north of the country, they might have less chance of being intercepted.
The conversation was small and simple. It was as if both were making plans for some future event or were afraid of the answer to questions that might be asked. After an extremely long period of silence and thoughtfully forming her question she asked, “What prompted you to start your trek, or calling or whatever this mission it is you’re on?” She looked at him, grinned a little nervously and waited.
“I’m not so sure I hadn’t been thinking about it for years, but not too long after Linda, my wife, died I had an extremely vivid dream. I dreamed I was a past President of the United States. I was standing naked in a line behind several other naked men. It was me, but it wasn’t me you know. I couldn’t see the other faces and they wouldn’t turn around, but I knew they were former Presidents. We were standing before God, waiting to be judged. I was nervous because I knew I’d probably done some bad things.
“Soon, I was standing right before God and he was hard to look at. I wondered where my Secret Service people were and where all my admirers were and where all the people who’d told me what to do over the years were. No one was there with me; just me; alone! I was as frightened as a child. I looked for Linda, but she wouldn’t or couldn’t come. Dreams usually don’t make any sense ... but I believe they can be an outlet sometimes. Perhaps I was just missing Linda so much that it was a method of seeking her. Anyway, God asked me what I’d done with my life after he gave it to me. I told him I’d been President of the United States.
“Then he asked what I’d done that was worthwhile. I was dumbfounded. I started to tell him again, but I couldn’t say it. I couldn’t physically open my mouth to say it. I panicked and opened my mouth to talk about the good things that I’d done as President. No words would come out. God then asked what I’d done for my fellow men and women. I then easily told him about what I’d done as a child and a young adult in my church and community. I related the things I’d done later as an adult and prior to running for political office. When I tried to tell him about what I considered the good things I accomplished as a politician, again my voice would not come. God didn’t seem concerned or confused about my inability to speak. It was then I realized he was making me mute.
“I thought about the good things I’d done as a politician, and while I was thinking about them, God said they weren’t good things if I did them with selfishness in my heart. Then it hit me that everything I’d done in politics was for my own benefit. Everything that I’d rationalized to be good for other people had actually been calculated to keep me in office and in power. Absolute power corrupts absolutely, and is exactly the case for ninety percent of people. We conversed in my consciousness or my mind for a while and then God said I didn’t belong with him. That was the most profoundly defeating and sad thing I’d ever heard. I started to cry, but I couldn’t argue. Words wouldn’t come to me. I started falling toward earth, and earth opened up and I kept falling and I felt the heat from hell and I woke up crying like a baby.”
Tears streaked Agent Denzine’s face, but she didn’t say a word. She understood fully and kept driving.
After an hour or so without a meaningful word between them she said, “I’m the one who put the ad in the paper about your speech today.” She didn’t look at him.
He turned to her and quietly said, “Thank you very much Jenetta.”
14.
By the time they reached Coeur d’Alene, it was late and the back roads and slow traffic had worn them out. She asked if it would be okay to spend the night on the south side of town. He knew little about Coeur d’Alene except it was beautiful and hard to pronounce. He agreed to a stop and soon they were in front of a small, but beautiful English Tudor nestled in about five acres of meticulously kept foliage. She told him to wait and went to the porch. She was met at the front door by an older man who hugged her and then motioned for the walker to come in. She introduced the man as her uncle and gave his name as Ike Larson, lieutenant colonel, USMC retired. He was one of the good men the walker preferred not to meet.
He was greeted with dignity and kindness. He found that Ike’s wife had died the year before. He offered his condolences and they were accepted. Ike didn’t ask many questions. He gave the walker an upstairs bedroom across from his. Jen had the downstairs bedroom. Ike and Jen fixed a great dinner while the walker checked the outside of the house for “rat holes” that