He tried his best to convince me the woman I was looking for simply did not exist on this planet, only in my dreams. But I had developed the faith to believe that if I were to begin living for God, one day He would provide for my need and desire to truly love and be loved. Dodie was out there, still in the distance. I didn’t realize that distance was quickly fading, as she was getting closer and closer to my sight!
Chapter Three
At Last! My Angel of Love Appears
The year was 2005, and I was in the early stages of once again becoming a Christian writer. In 2000, I began to write for God once more. By 2005, I would take new chapters received with me to the House of Prayer in Largo, Florida. There I would pray and meditate before the Lord, asking when I would read what I had written; He would reveal anything which was not of Him.
This was where I was when one day upon entering the foyer area where you were allowed to talk; I came across a lady pastor who was showing the House of Prayer to a few of the ladies in her church. Having introduced myself as a Christian author, I entered into conversation with the pastor, whose name I learned was Kara Lynne Brubaker, in hopes of perhaps obtaining an opportunity to come and speak in her church.
She had brought with her three ladies. But one in particular caught my eye and attention. She was without any doubt the most Beautiful woman my eyes had ever seen. Her eyes were aglow and full of the love of God, and her smile would brighten up the room. I was in awe of this woman; she literally took my breath away! Instantly, the desire to get to know her, date her, and maybe ask her to marry me flooded my thoughts.
I was in shock; as such a thing had never happened to me before. I had spent decades being cautious about allowing such thoughts to enter my mind. Now here I was feeling much like a love sick teen aged puppy. As her pastor and I spoke, my gaze kept focusing on this lovely lady who was standing behind her. “Try not to be too obvious” I was thinking to myself. “You don’t want the pastor to notice how distracted you are when she is speaking.” Then came the warning, “Joe, what are you thinking? A woman this Beautiful must be the wife of some millionaire. At this stage of the game, someone as Beautiful as this woman cannot be free. Joe, if you look at this woman lusting after her in your heart, you’ll be guilty of lusting after another mans’ wife!” (Just ask Jimmy Carter).
I wasn’t really “lusting” after her (I had foolishly done enough of that in my younger years). I was simply wishing somehow she could become my wife. But I was puzzled by my sudden desire. I had always been so cautious. I did not even know this woman, was she as beautiful a person inside as she was outside? Not knowing this, why was I wishing so badly that someday I could ask her to be my wife? Then I thought about how her husband might pose a problem with making my wishes come true.
It really got bad, as I almost shouted out loud to myself: STOP STARING AT THIS WOMAN! SURE, SHE’S THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN YOUR EYES HAVE EVER SEEN. BUT SHE MUST BE MARRIED, AND THAT MAKES IT WRONG FOR YOU TO STARE. BESIDES, THE PASTOR IS SURE TO NOTICE YOUR LACK OF ATTENTION TO HER, DURING HER PART OF THE CONVERSATION. SO…. STOP IT NOW!
Our conversation finally ended, but before it had, I discovered the name of this woman of such great beauty, it was Dolores M., and the name of the church she attended was Positive Impact Worldwide, in St. Petersburg. It was a long drive from where I was living in Seminole, but guess where I began attending church?
I enjoyed attending church at Positive Impact; Pastor Kara Lynn did a very good job of teaching from the Word. I also discovered that “Dodie” as she was called, was not married to a millionaire as I had supposed. She was divorced, and thankfully, that made her free game! Did I go after her! Trying my best not to be too obvious, I wanted to get her to thinking I was not a bad guy, so when I would ask her out she would be certain to say yes.
I was working on my book, 21st Century Psalms at the time. When I would get a new poem, I would make a copy to share with Dodie, and of course I made one for her sister, Pat, as well. I felt this way it would look innocent enough, and not reveal my true motive. When I finally asked her out, I wanted her to be eager to say yes.
Sometimes the best laid plans go awry! I did not know it until after we were married, but my efforts at reaching Dodie’s heart by sharing my writings with her, only had made her shy away. Why? She said she felt I was too “holy” a man for her. She said she believed she was “unworthy” to go out with me. As she later shared this story with me we both laughed at how wrong she had been. Dodie was the one far more “holier” than me. Dodie was perhaps the best example I have ever seen of one keeping the 11th Commandment. She truly loved others, just as Jesus loved her.
I kind of thought my plan on influencing Dodie was working, when after having had triple by-pass surgery at the VA hospital in Tampa, accompanying pastor Kara Lynn to see me was none other than Dodie. We had yet to date, but I felt hope that my plans were working. I must tell you that Dodie appeared to me to be at least 20 years younger than (62 year old) me. This kind of scared me when the thought of asking her on a date came up; what if she says, “Why would I want to go out with an old man like you?”
But one day shortly after my triple bypass surgery, I got my opportunity to ask Dodie to go out with me. I had to go the Bay Pines VA for a follow up visit. As I was not as yet supposed to drive far, Dodie on hearing of my appointment offered to drive me there. How could I refuse? I viewed this as my first big break. I would ask her to go with me to the soon coming State Fair in Tampa.
So on our way back from the VA I offered to take her to lunch on me. At first she refused. But when I said it was the least I could do to repay her for having taken me to the hospital, she agreed. She only wanted to go to the nearby Steak and Shake restaurant. We became seated in a booth and after we had ordered our food, I nervously made my move.
“Dodie, you know the State Fair is due to open next week. I would really be honored if you would let me take you to it?” I anxiously awaited her answer; but when I got it, my balloon full of hope quickly deflated. “I don’t think that would be a good idea Joe.” That was all she said to me, leaving the interpretation to my thought process. Of course my thought process was flawed. She is most likely thinking, “Why would I want to go out with an old guy like you?”
Shot down and deflated, it took me a long time to get the nerve to ask her out again (after we were married, I discovered what she was thinking). Dodie told me it was, “You just went through triple bi-pass, I don’t think you would be in good enough shape to walk all over the Fair grounds.” Her answer was based in wisdom and her sincere concern for my well being, while my thoughts were of my being too old for her. Before we got married, I found much to my surprise, Dodie was actually four years “older” than me. Can you believe that??? But to the end, she never looked it!
It took a couple of months, but the idea of trying again seemed like the thing to do. There was a church in Largo, called Aldersgate Methodist, which offered a free concert of country Gospel music on Saturday nights. Being poor, I thought this might work. So I asked Dodie if she would like to accompany me to one of the concerts. A group of really good, talented, professional grade musicians put on the concerts. Dodie said she would be happy to go with me. Halleluiah! Look out Dodie! I’m going to get you yet!
At the first concert, as we were walking toward the building, I tried awkwardly to put my arm around her shoulder. She kind of shied away from that idea. This made me worry a bit, but still, after the concert had ended I asked if she had liked it. When she said she had, I quickly asked if I could take her to the next one. Much to my delight, she agreed. I did not know it then, but the romance I had envisioned was starting to bloom!
Chapter Four
Cupids’ Arrows Fly in Old Town
We had twice attended the Gospel Opry, but not as official dates. Still on the way home after the last time, in confidence, Dodie told me that she had feelings for me. Things are beginning to look up. Maybe there is some hope for me! Anyway, this is what I was thinking when at church it was announced in Old Town, Florida, a church was going to be having an all night praise, prayer and worship service.
I had heard of such