the living room floor we ate pizza and chatted. Time together. Time to get to know each other! A special time!
Once things were in place, I jumped on the piano bench and cranked a few tunes to see if I still had the touch. Robert knew how important music and the piano were to my life and he made sure both were available to me.
There was much to learn. A new a marriage, a new community, a new lifestyle, no friends to meet and chat with, no family to rely on, two boys to get acquainted with and integrate them into our life, and a new name, Eicholz. Thinking about new names, my friends and others had called me Marti. Now that I was starting anew, perhaps Martha Ruth didn’t suit me in my new existence. Become Marti Eicholz and make it truly a new beginning. And so it was, I became Marti Eicholz. For a moment I felt overwhelmed.
One thing we decided is that I would not seek a school position. There was much to get accustomed to, even a new driver’s license. The laws in California were somewhat different than Indiana’s laws and it had been awhile since I had taken a driver’s test, so I had to study up!
The phone rang and it was a woman wanting to stop by and welcome me to the community. What a gracious gesture! Of course, I was delighted to welcome her into my new home and share a cup of coffee. It would be fun meeting someone in the area, since the only people I knew were Robert’s colleagues and staff. Trudy arrived. She was friendly, outgoing and enthusiastic about sharing her knowledge of the neighborhood and surrounding community. She presented me with a basket of gifts and coupons from local merchants. She introduced me to the cultural activities available nearby, plus the monthly program for newcomers, just like me, to meet and expand their network of friends. Monthly luncheons, bridge games, book clubs, a couples potluck, walks and chats. This spirit of warm hospitality welcomed me and I wanted to participate. What a great opportunity!
Robert was pleased that I had made contact with someone outside the office. For so many years he had been engaged in long intense writing schedules and travel that a social life other than work-related was non-existent.
We discussed, as a couple, the importance of expanding and reaching out to others. We enjoyed each other and our time together that it would be easy to isolate ourselves. We did have much love for each other, but we also had much love to give. We analyzed our interests. Robert was a life master at bridge. I didn’t play. I grew up in a family and religious environment that did not condone card playing. Now that had changed, so bridge was a possibility if I would take lessons. Robert played golf. Robert had played golf with his son Alan. In the very early days I had played golf with my former husband Jim, so golf was a possibility if I would work on my game. And now we could participate in some of the newcomer events, meeting others in a similar situation as we were…new to the community. We had a start. We would let things unfold naturally.
Robert was looking forward to me accompanying him on his business trips. He wanted me at his side. Fall was approaching and we were off to Europe for several weeks. Robert would be working with the Defense of Education (DOE) programs. Our escorts took exceptional care and attention to our needs and our pleasures.
Germany was our first stop. The food, the music, the beer, and the incredible scenery made for an unforgettable experience. A tour through Italy let us know that this was a special region of the world that we would want to return many times. It totally captivated us.
Spending time in London and Paris was special, especially, when you are guided and cared for with the best hospitality can offer. You savor wonderful moments of being given the finest another can offer. All we needed to do was wake up, be aware of the love being bestowed upon us, breathe and accept it all with gratitude. Thanksgiving had arrived early and it was delicious.
The wedding, Hawaii, Europe---it had been some kind of a beginning. Now back in California, with Robert in the office with his daily routine. I was settled in to the community, exploring grocery stores, the nest of cities all connected to each other with seemingly no boundaries. Menlo Park, Atherton, Palo Alto, Woodside, Mountain View all touched and where did one begin and another end? A good map and time to navigate and investigate turned into a great adventure, as I realized that so much was available within a short distance. The Stanford University campus was within walking distance. The Stanford Shopping Center and the Old Barn Complex were intriguing stops for a lunch, coffee, or browsing. There was no need to rush, just relax, enjoy because I had dedicated a lifetime to this life.
Robert was continuing his writing projects. His office was close to the apartment, so driving to and from work was not a chore. He had structure in his life. A structured life was comfortable and necessary for his writing and creative process. He had much to accomplish and he needed discipline to accomplish the defined goals.
But he was also disciplined in caring for his physical needs, not just his mental and work-related situations. He would awaken early, go jogging, eat a healthy breakfast, and most days we made love before going to the office. We made incredible love, absolutely melting together.
Since I was not working, the structure in my life had radically changed. All of my life I had gotten up in the morning and rushed off to classes, my classroom or to the office. Now my mornings were free to get acquainted with the community, to work on the apartment, to shop for the evening meal. In fact, for years I had even been tied up in the evening so the evening meal was not my responsibility. My days had been transformed. I discovered the finest market in the area with fresh meats and seafood, a produce department displaying the best from the farmer’s gardens. Not far was a wine shop with knowledgeable connoisseurs, astute judges in matters of art and taste and willing to share their expertise with me. I had so much to learn.
THE FIRST HOLIDAY SEASON
Thanksgiving and Christmas were just around the corner, so the festivities of the season occupied much of my time.
As I found myself getting ready for my first Thanksgiving holiday with my new family, Robert, Bob and Alan, I thought about all of the bounty of the past year. I fell into a more reflective mode, mulling over the blessings I had received throughout the past 12 months. I was grateful for my excellent health, for my wonderful husband and family, for the sense of purpose that continued to develop within me as I grew older, for having everything I needed to be comfortable and the constant stimulation I felt in my new surroundings. Thinking about these blessings was a terrific way to jump-start my spirit into a state of well-being.
Alan was pleased with the Thanksgiving dinner. He was so delighted that he wanted me to fix that kind of dinner for some of his friends. That recognition and request could not have made me more delighted and accepted.
Coming from Indiana, I often experienced dark, cold days in winter. The sun would shine less, blessing the Southern Hemisphere for six months. The days would grow progressively shorter with each passing week. This changed with the winter solstice December 21, the shortest day of the entire year, and the days would begin to grow longer. This lengthening seemed imperceptible at first, because the weather was often gloomy and wet. I didn’t see much of the sun during this time of year to tell whether it was here for an instant or two more than it was yesterday.
Ancient people were much more in tune with these celestial rhythms, however, and many traditional cultures feared that the sun would disappear forever during winter. What proof was there, after all, that the days wouldn’t just keep getting shorter and shorter forever, until humankind lived in a permanent darkness? So they created sacred rituals in the depth of winter, to encourage the return of the sun.
We see this in almost every culture around the world, except for those located near the equator, where seasons do not vary throughout the year. The further north (or south) you go from the equator, the greater the importance of an equinox celebration. This is because ancient people understood the connection between light and life itself at a visceral level. Without light: starvation, cold and death.
Now living in California, yes, there were mild minor seasonal changes, but the sun shined