my rock, always my saving grace, always the one I called when I needed advice. You traveled the world, fell in love not once, but twice. You lived a beautiful life that so few get to experience. It is my deepest regret that I didn’t get to share my second book with you, but even deeper regret that your beautiful life came to an end so soon. My sky is darker without you here; even though I know your soul is still near, the void tears a hole that cannot be explained, other than maybe a feeling of being lost as a part of me seeks to connect with that special place—a place where the soul meets body, where a deep part of me knows that you still live on. Death is not the end, but the beginning. A resurrection into a new plane of existence where I know you are free at last.
Seth Mason. I am always so blown away by how handsome, considerate, mature, and intelligent you are. Losing Grandpa was your first real experience with death and I’ll never forget the regrets you expressed about how you wish you had tried to spend more time with him. It was an eye opener for me, because in my grief I never expected you to have those kinds of regrets. I expected sadness because he was your only Grandfather, but I didn’t expect you to feel regrets about something out of your control. Please remember, for the rest of your life, in each situation we do the best we can with the tools that we have. Everything happens for a reason and things have a way of working themselves out. Even if we don’t agree with it or understand why, it reminds us that the little things in life are what matters, like spending time together, talking, eating at the table, enjoying family. When we let other things in life stand in the way, we miss out on what
really matters. We are blessed in the fact that we get a chance to do things differently. You are one of the few things in this life of mine that I would never do any differently, because being your mother is the best thing I have ever done. I love you and I hope you continue with your inspiration to write.
Christian Kane. In the year preceding the release of this second book I have had the pleasure of getting to know you on a more personal level. You have rapidly become one of the most amazing people I have met in a long, long time. You have shocked me with the generosity of your spirit, your amazing support of the first JUNKIE book “Broken Wings,” and you were the first friend to call me the day you heard my father had passed away. Not only did you call me, you reminded me of a better place that my father was in. You counseled me; you reminded me that dwelling on what happened is not the right move, that what I needed to do is focus on the better place he was in. The support you have shown me means more to me than I can ever put into words. You are a beautiful person, with a beautiful heart and soul. Thank you.
Robin Penninger. I want to thank you for helping me with the book covers and film poster art. You are an amazing designer and elevate everything you touch.
Little Knittle. You are more than just a step-son. You’re a friend, confidant, and fine young man. I am very proud to have been a part of your life.
Jeanette Thomas. You are an amazing woman. You have been through so much this past year and have remained strong every step of the way. It was amazing to see your relationship with my father, and the way his eyes lit up when you walked into the room. I am grateful that you and I have remained friends in the wake of his life.
The Henslee Family. We have been through a lot this year, I love every single one of you. As the ghosts of our ancestors recently told me in a dream, we need to worry about each other – not the ones who have passed. LIFE IS FOR THE LIVING and Christmas, is for Dave Wongs in Stockton, CA– let’s keep the tradition going!
Patty Nealy. You are my rock and I thank god everyday to have you in my life.
Mary Brewer. Although we really don’t know each other, we have become friends and your friendship has helped me in many ways. Thank you very much, Mary, I hope that we meet one of these days.
Cindy Bell. I have watched you support the JUNKIE film, and books since day one. You never stop and your efforts have not gone unnoticed. Thank you!
Karen Ritter. The work you are trying to do truly is “the great work.” Your story needs to be told and I thank you so much for trusting some of it to me. Even if I have not been as responsive as I’d like to be, you and the stories of the children in need are on my heart. Keep on keeping on!
Creator. Thank you for giving me the voice to write these Junkie books and more. This year has been a tough one full of surreal adulting experiences. I learned that the things in life I thought I wanted and needed. The things in life I was praying for were the wrong things. I had already written this book an entire year before I learned that. I was waiting to release it because I wanted to release the film first. As I prepared to finalize and release it, I read it. I was shocked to learn that the things my character was learning, were exactly the things I needed to learn. I was shocked as I followed my character processing his grief and loss. It was hard. I was faced with the reality that I have not processed my own grief and loss. It was then that I felt it was appropriate to incorporate the five stages of grief into this novel. Life is a hell of a journey, thank you for the blessings. Aho.
Orlando Gibbons. First Set of Madrigals and Motets in Five Parts “The Silver Swan” written in 1610 is one of my fondest memories of choir. Thank you for this amazing contribution to the musical world. Christopher Hatton. First Set of Madrigals and Motets in Five Parts “The Silver Swan” written in 1610 is one of my fondest memories of choir. Thank you for this amazing contribution to the musical world.
I
Denial
The body is a vessel to carry our spirits through this journey called life. Like it or hate it, it is ours until it has expired. Each day offers an opportunity to do something new, make a different choice, or choose to remain the same – even if it is already too late.
Each Day a New Beginning
The darkness consumes me as I pass through a dark tunnel, interrupted by brief intervals of flashing lights that leave tracers in their wake. I feel so lost and confused. Where
the hell am I?
Blinding light rips through the darkness, sending a sharp pain through my forehead and pressing my eyes into my skull. The skull- cracking headache is relieved by the emergence of beauty, Emily Corbin, holding our beautiful new baby girl Penelope.
This, this is the day. We have dreamed of this day for a long, long time. Our little Penelope, the most beautiful, ethereal creature to ever grace this world with her presence, the brightest star in the world—well, since her mommy Emily was born.
Shit, we’re in the delivery room. This day, the day we dreamed of for so long, is also a day I’ve been running from for even longer.
CLEAR!
There’s a man nearby, I can hear his voice resonate all around me—no, wait, it’s coming through the speakers built into the walls of the hospital room. “Consequences; life is about consequences. And the best part is, each day offers us a chance to do it all over again. Each day offers us a new beginning, and a new hope.”
CLEAR!
His voice reminds me of when I was a kid and we went to Church every Sunday. Of course, Emily was there too.
The nurse steps up to check Emily Corbin’s vitals. “How are we feeling, Mommy?” she said. I can barely hear her as I stand here, mesmerized by the fact that Emily and I have finally arrived.
CLEAR!
This, this right here, this is the moment that she and I have been waiting for since we were practically in diapers. We grew up together. Watching fireflies. Catching trout. Square dancing. Town parades. You name it, we did it. Our families had lived next to each other for generations. Hell, I’ve known Emily for as long as I can remember.
A heart rate monitor beeps.
I remember the day I met her like it was yesterday. I’d been out wrangling cattle with my dad, then he let me go swimming down at the creek. She