Margaret Hawley

ALWAYS IS FOREVER


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I belonged to Brian heart and soul.

      “Brian, I’m concerned about Beverly. What are she and her friends going to think when they see us?”

      “Last night when I got home I called Beverly. I knew after our evening together and our kiss that it was over between Beverly and me. She seemed to take it nicely. We have never had anything serious going anyway. We just went to the school dances and ball games and a movie once in a while. Anyway, I don’t care what anyone thinks. You are the one I want, and I have you, right?”

      I hesitated a bit, not sure what I should say. “I guess that’s right.” I didn’t look Brian in the eyes when I answered. I wasn’t sure how to handle the feelings I was experiencing, feelings I had never felt before.

      “You guess? Aren’t you sure how you feel this morning, Marcie?”

      “I’m sure,” I replied timidly, not wanting all those wonderful feelings to be on open display, not even for Brian.

      “And how doyou feel, Marcie?”

      I was just about to answer when my friend, Diana, came up behind me.

      “Well, why are you two so sober-faced on such a beautiful morning?” Not waiting for an answer, she went on, “Marcie, did you get the answers to those History questions I talked to you about on the phone last night?”

      “Well, yes, I have them–” I began.

      “I have to have them right now because the test is first hour. Can you go with me to study hall so I can copy them down?”

      “Okay. There’s not a lot of time before the bell rings.” I looked at Brian and back at Diana. “I’ll talk to you later, Brian. Maybe I’ll see you in the cafeteria.” Giving Brian a lingering glance, I hurried off with Diana.

      “What were you two talking about so seriously when I came up?” Diana suspected something major was going on between us by the look on my face.

      “Oh, Diana, something wonderful happened to me last night! Brian came over, and we walked up to the Snack Shop. A strange and exciting feeling developed between us. He even kissed me, and this morning he told me he had called Beverly last night and broke up with her.”

      “Wow, that’s terrific, Marcie. Has he asked you out?”

      “Yes, he asked me out for Friday night. I can’t believe this is happening. Brian is only the cutest boy in our class, a football and basketball star, and he could have any girl he wanted. But he wants me! He wants me!”

      “Well, listen, come off Cloud 9 and give me those answers. We have to hurry.”

      “Okay. I have sure found out what you mean by Cloud 9.”

      CHAPTER 5

      As Brian had said, everyone soon realized I was his girl. Our dates were limited to a movie on weekends and an occasional dance, but every chance we had we were together at school. Seldom were we in a car, since neither was sixteen. Brian usually spent Saturday afternoon with me at my house. We would go for a walk or just sit on the couch holding hands, laughing, talking and listening to music. If no one was around, we would spend most of the time in each other’s arms, warmed and excited by innumerable kisses.

      When football season began, I would walk to the Snack Shop with my friends after the games. Brian would come by later and walk me home. Sometimes he and a friend with a date would pick me up in a car, and we would spend some time on a country road parked with the radio playing. After being in the back seat of the car for a while, holding each other closely as we shared long and passionate kisses, both our hearts would be pounding, and we would experience excitements neither one had known existed. We were unsure how to handle these sensations and often parted with confusion and a longing that consumed our whole beings.

      One night when Brian came by, we took a walk down to the river just outside of town. The moon was full, the air balmy, and soft music played on the radio we had brought long. A New Bulletin interrupted the music. There was a War going on in Korea, and the bulletin announced that President Truman had just fired General Douglas MacArthur. How can such a thing as a war be happening when we sit here on this beautiful night feeling so good and so happy? I asked myself. How could I ever stand to see Brian go off to fight in a war? My heart would break if he ever had to leave me like that.

      Sitting on the bank of the river, Brian pulled me over to him and gave me a warm and tender kiss. “Marcie, we’ve been going together for a while now, and there is something I want to ask you. I’ve been trying to find the right time all week.” He fidgeted with his watch, turning it on his wrist. Then shyly glancing at Marcie, he asked, “Marcie, would you be my exclusive girl, go steady with me, go only with me and no one else?”

      Without hesitation and so thrilled I could scarcely get my breath, I replied, “Oh, Brian, of course I will. You’re the only person I want to date, the only guy I want to be with.”

      “And I only want you, Marcie.” He hugged me tightly for a long moment. “I’m so glad you agreed. Now you are my girl–you belong only to me.”

      I had felt I was already Brian’s exclusive girl since neither one of us dated anyone else, but I was glad Brian wanted to make it official. Going steady meant he would give me his miniature gold football to wear on a chain around my neck. I had always envied the other girls in school who dated football players and had gold footballs dangling down the front of their sweaters.

      The gold footballs were given to the players as a token of their contribution to the football team, and the guys always gave them to their steady girls. Soon I would have one, and how proud I will be to wear it!

      The song, “Because Of You,” was softly playing over the radio. “Let’s listen to the words.” I whispered. Snuggling closer to Brian. “Because of you there’s a song in my heart...,” the singer crooned. “The moon and stars will say you’re mine, forever and never to part.”

      “That’s such a beautiful song. Let’s have it for Our Song,Brian. Whenever we hear it we can remember the night here on this river bank when we agreed to belong only to each other.”

      “I do like that song, and the words describe our feelings. It will be Our Song, and no matter where I am, I will think of you, Marcie, when I hear it played, even years from now when we are old and gray and still in love.”

      “Brian, do you know what soul mates are?”

      “No, I don’t think I do.”

      “Soul mates are two people who connect in their relationship, their feelings, their desires, in a way they could not connect with anyone else. When true soul mates find each other, they experience completeness, a warmth and joy that stays with them for their whole lives. Their relationship is very harmonious, each feeling what the other does about most things, and especially about their commitment and love for each other. Actually, it is rare for people to find their soul mates; only a lucky few do. Sometimes soul mates meet but, for one reason or another, their lives go in different directions, ending with each making a life with someone else. However, the memory of their soul mate is carried always in their hearts, and all those old feelings can be brought to the surface by a song, a fragrance, by many things.”

      “How do you know all of that? That’s not something you learn in school.”

      “I read about it in a magazine before we started dating. I was intrigued by what the article said and wondered if I would be one of the lucky ones to meet my soul mate. We can’t be sure we are soul mates; maybe we’re too young to know. I guess only time will tell. Do you think we are, Brian?”

      “What you just said could describe our feelings right now, but as you said, maybe it’s too early to know. I just know that you mean a lot to me, Marcie, that I like to be with you, and I hope those feelings continue.”

      We lay back on the cool ground, enjoying the nearness of our bodies. Rarely were we alone together since we didn’t drive, and my brother and sister were usually