of his mouth and a thick, gold rope chain hangs from around his neck. They’re so played out. He also has the nerve to be wearing a bright orange shirt with the collar flipped up, like he’s Elvis, and a pair of cream-colored khaki pants. I want to throw up!
He introduces himself as Jimmy, and he extends his hand. I stand there and just look at him. I’m not shaking his hand. I don’t want to touch him. I look over at Sasha. She knows the deal. I want to strangle her for hooking me up with some horrendous looking shit like him. I don’t want to be seen anywhere in public with him.
“What the fuck is that?” I whisper in her ear after pulling her to the side.
“Jimmy…”
“I’m not going out. Shit, I don’t even wanna be seen with him. That niggah is so ugly I’m about to throw up,” I warn.
“C’mon, Shana, just chill. You ain’t gotta fuck him; just keep him company. He’s a nice guy.”
Now, she knows better. As much as we be hanging out together and dissing ugly muthafuckas like him…is her mind warped? Cell and his friend look like something out of Swamp Thing.
She pleads and begs, but I refuse to give in. Fuck a promise. He makes me shiver every time I turn around and look at him…he’s just so ugly. Cell and Jimmy stand next to the truck, talking and waiting. Sasha goes as far as offering me fifty dollars. Then she offers me a hundred. I agree to the hundred, and she slips it to me on the low. I take a deep breath, exhale and walk back over to the truck.
“Y’all ready?” Cell asks.
“Yeah, we’re cool,” Sasha says.
Jimmy—Mr. Too Ugly—tries to be a gentleman and opens the passenger door for me. I give him a nasty look and let myself in through the other door. Cell looks back at me and then over at Sasha. Jimmy enters the truck last and manages to smile at me. I sit as close to the door as I can.
Cell suggests that we go out to this nightclub in Brooklyn called The Jackpot. It’s becoming one of the more popular night spots. He has friends there that will let us all in for free—no long lines, no waiting. I outright refuse to go; the Jackpot is a well-known spot. Everybody goes there, and I do mean everybody. Unfortunately, my refusal is overruled by a three-to-one vote.
Mr. Too Ugly is trying to make conversation. He keeps glancing over at me and smiling. “You go to school?” he asks. His voice and speech are so ugly. I ignore him and just stare out the window. Sasha looks back at me, and I give her a counterfeit smile, while thinking, yeah bitch, you’re gonna get yours. “You got a man?” Mr. Too Ugly is still smiling and trying to be friendly. I go on ignoring him, asking Cell to turn up the radio a little. As I continue staring out the window, I can feel his eyes trying to undress me. It gives me goose bumps, just thinking about him seeing me naked. “You’re so beautiful.”
I don’t respond. He tries to put his hand on my knee. I turn and glare at him like he’s crazy, and I quickly smack it away. “Don’t touch me,” I say in a harsh tone.
Sasha and Cell are chillin’ up front, while I’m in the back seat trying to tame a wild animal.
“You don’t speak?” he asks.
“Only if interested,” I spit back.
I’ve already said six words too many to him. Why me? Mr. Too Ugly starts making conversation with his boy up front. I guess he’s beginning to get the picture. I cross my legs and try to isolate myself from everyone in the truck as much as I can. As soon as we get to the club, I’m ditching Sasha, Cell and The Creature From the Black Lagoon.
We pull up in front of the club. There are so many people outside it looks like the Grammys. I’m so embarrassed. I can’t be seen with him—not in this fucking lifetime. Cell parks the car and everyone gets out except me.
“C’mon, Shana,” Sasha says.
Cell and Jimmy look at me, and I catch a serious attitude.
“What’s up with your girl?” Cell asks Sasha.
“Shana, what’s the matter? You coming or what?”
“What the fuck do you mean, what’s the matter? You know what the deal is, bitch,” I protest.
Sasha’s face tightens and her eyes become slits. Cell and Jimmy look at each other and then glance back at me. “I think y’all two ladies need to sort this out in private. Jimmy and I will be standing at the corner,” Cell says. They walk slowly toward the corner, and Sasha’s focus is now totally on me.
“Get the fuck out the car, bitch!” she snaps.
“I know you not about to trip!” I bark.
“No, I’m not gonna trip, but why the fuck you gotta be embarrassing me like this? All I’m asking is for you to just keep him company. You act like I want you to give him the world, bitch. You can keep your stingy pussy to yourself.”
I don’t say anything back to Sasha; I just stare at her and slowly step out of the truck. She looks at me and walks away. I follow her. Cell and Jimmy are at the corner waiting for us. When we get to the corner, Sasha walks off with Cell and Jimmy remains standing there. He’s still smiling, and it’s getting on my damn nerves. I want to smack that fucking disgusting grin off his face. I guess he’s expecting to walk side-by-side with me into the club. But I just hurry by him and catch up with Cell and Sasha. We get in with no problem. I turn slightly around, and there’s Mr. Too Ugly, already breathing down the back of my neck. I move away.
The Jackpot is jam-packed. And of course, the deejay just so happens to be playing It’s A Groove Thang by Zhane. This was my jam back in the day. I start dancing and grooving, and then I feel this figure pushing up behind me, grinding against me. I turn around, and I see Mr. Too Ugly again. I quickly stop dancing and walk away; he done fucked up my flow now. He follows me and asks, “Can I buy you a drink?”
“No!” I shout. I continue to try my best to get the fuck away from him. I can’t be seen with him up in here; there are too many cuties around. He tries to follow me, but I evade him by sneaking into the women’s bathroom. I’m getting frustrated. I can’t get my party on with this ugly muthafucka following me around all night. And shit, no matter how nasty and rude I am to him, he still doesn’t get the picture. Maybe he really is slow or retarded.
I lay low in the bathroom for about five minutes before heading back out to the party. I’m just not feeling it anymore. I know that once that ugly muthafucka sees me, he’s going to start hounding me again. And if he does, I’ve decided that I’m gonna curse him out so dirty and nasty and embarrass him in front of everyone in the club. I bet he’ll finally get the hint then. He doesn’t know who he’s fucking with…but the club is so crowded I might not run into him again.
I go to the bar and order myself a drink. Maybe I should’ve let him buy me one; at least he would have been good for something. But it wouldn’t have been worth it; he would have probably thought that I was starting to like him.
The deejay is definitely doing his thing—one nice jam after another. Right now he’s playing Cream by Wu Tang Clan. Them my niggahs right there. The cutest and illest one—to me—is my niggah, Method Man.
I feel somebody’s hand grab my arm from behind. I think it’s Mr. Too Ugly, so I turn around and prepare to smack him, but I see a light-skinned cutie with baby brown eyes and braids instead.
“How you doing, love?” he asks.
“Fine.” He’s more flamboyant than rough, but he’s still cute. We make our way to the dance floor, where he pulls me in front of him and starts grinding up on me. I can feel his dick getting hard in his slacks. It’s poking me repeatedly in the butt, and it’s starting to get annoying. I continue to dance with him, but when he squats down and tries to feel my crotch through my skirt, I proceed to put him in check. I grab his nuts tightly and make a fist, squeezing the living shit out of them.
“Niggah,