he went to class, it wasn’t until he graduated that he realized school was the only place he saw them. As the months passed, he found himself with too many hours on his hands and nothing to do. He began leaving the hotel during the day to wander through the mall, and for the first time in more than two years, he began to really notice other men. He reverted to his childhood hobby of observing and making up stories about men who appealed to him.
At Venus Video, he could check out Hey Boy, who wore faded jeans and had biceps that threatened to rip the seams of his plaid shirts. Derek liked to rent obscure movies from the top shelf just to make Hey Boy strain for them, causing his shirt to rise up and reveal his treasure trail.
Jade Eye Knight, slender and shy, worked the counter at Sirius Dogs and never got any of Derek’s lame innuendos about foot-longs, relish, or special sauce. Glute Guy bowled with a league on Wednesdays and had no idea that Derek sometimes followed him across the Earth level just to look at his amazing ass.
On his mall excursions, Derek often saw MCI Man, so named because he constantly talked on his cell phone through a headset while he went in and out of stores. MCI Man dressed as tastefully as Hunter and had steely gray eyes and flawless skin. Derek noticed that he wasn’t MCI Man’s only fan; he left a trail of lovelorn females wherever he went. On the single occasion that Derek got within five feet of MCI Man, he caught an appealing scent that he’d never been able to find in any men’s fragrance department.
The only one of them that Derek knew was gay was Lube Job, an employee with a blond ponytail at Satellite Drugs who’d gotten his nickname when he’d recommended a better brand of lubricant to Derek while admonishing him to always be safe. Lube Job was too serious and hardworking to flirt, but he didn’t seem to mind Derek’s loitering among the magazines and greeting cards as a way of watching him.
On nights when Hunter had to entertain hotel guests, Derek went online and talked to men all over the country. He entertained his online friends with stories about his Mall Men. If they occasionally flirted with him, he reassured himself that anonymity and distance made it harmless. He never talked about his personal life, but one night in a chat room, a man happened to mention that he worked the night shift at a hotel. Derek stared at his monitor with dismay when it appeared that almost every man there had a story of tricking with a hotel employee. The transient nature of hotels provided the perfect setting.
Derek had signed off and gone to the one place he was always assured of privacy when he needed to think: the roof of the Congreve. He stared at the stars and faced some hard facts about his relationship. Hunter had a career and an entire life that didn’t include Derek. Derek had only Hunter. Hunter paid the bills, made the decisions, and never offered any promises about fidelity or a future. Derek had allowed himself to become dependent on Hunter and made his lover his entire life. Not only was that bad for him, but sooner or later, Hunter would surely tire of being with a man who had so little to offer him.
Derek decided it was time for a change, and the first thing he needed was a job. He sent out résumés online and filled out applications at several places in the mall. Unwilling to take any more help from Hunter, he didn’t tell him he was even looking for a job until he received the offer from Drayden’s.
He’d been so excited that he made a rare visit to Hunter’s office on the executive floor of the hotel. Hunter sat back in his leather chair and heard Derek out, occasionally tapping a finger on his lower lip, a familiar signal that he wasn’t happy. Derek was confused, having expected Hunter to be proud of him for showing initiative.
“If you need more money—”
“No, you’re always generous,” Derek said. “I understood that you wanted to help me when I was in school. But now I need to start taking care of myself.” He waited for some declaration of Hunter’s feelings. Even anger would have been more welcome than his silent perusal.
“I’ll cancel your flight to Miami. You obviously won’t be able to go if you’re starting a new job.”
Your flight, Derek heard loud and clear. Not our flight. So Hunter intended to go even if Derek couldn’t go with him. Hurt, Derek said, “How long will you be gone?”
“A week. That was the plan.” Hunter’s expression indicated that if there was nothing else, Derek was dismissed.
“Have a great time,” was all Derek managed to say before he turned and left the office.
He didn’t understand why Hunter had reacted so coldly, and he felt unjustly accused of something, although he wasn’t sure of what. He decided not to go to their apartment. A few hours away from him might give Hunter time to adjust to the news about the Drayden’s job, or at least to compose his thoughts so that he could tell Derek why he didn’t like the idea.
Derek went to Patti’s Pages, where he spent over three hundred dollars on biographies ranging from Ann-Margret to Zelda Fitzgerald. Then he ate a solitary dinner in the Jupiter Lounge and had a couple of cosmopolitans at the bar afterward.
When he went home, Hunter wasn’t there. Derek watched the clock; as the hours passed, he began to get angry. He knew Hunter was staying away on purpose, something Derek saw as an unnecessary power play, a reminder that Hunter would always have the upper hand in any contest between them. He decided to fight back by not waiting up. He was asleep when Hunter got into bed and woke him with soft kisses on the nape of his neck.
“Derek, wake up. I need you,” Hunter whispered.
Derek turned into Hunter’s arms, too sleepy to hold on to his anger. After they made love, Derek drifted off again. When he awoke, it was morning and Hunter wasn’t in bed. Derek walked through their apartment, but it was empty. With a groan of frustration, he called Riley, Hunter’s assistant.
“Is Hunter in the hotel?”
“He was driven to O’Hare airport about an hour ago,” Riley said.
“Did he leave a message for me?”
“Not with me,” Riley said.
“I’ll call him later in Miami,” Derek said, trying to sound nonchalant. The last thing he needed was the hotel staff gossiping about whether he was being dumped.
It was Hunter who called first. Derek could hear crowd noise through the phone, and he asked, “Where are you?”
“The airport,” Hunter said.
“In Miami?”
“In Los Angeles. Change of plans. The manager of the Sydney Congreve was fired. The old man’s sending me to Australia.”
“Australia! How long will you be gone?”
“I’m not sure, Derek. I would suspect anywhere from six to twelve weeks. It’s a shame you couldn’t come with me. Australia would be quite an adventure for you.”
The silence on the line stretched between them. Hunter wasn’t going to unbend enough to ask Derek to decline the position at Drayden’s. Derek wasn’t going to halt his baby steps toward a sense of independence. They’d reached an impasse.
“Come home soon,” Derek said.
“I’ll be in touch.”
The days that followed were the loneliest of Derek’s life. Hunter’s absence forced him to acknowledge that he no longer had friends who could support him through a bad time. It was a grim reminder of how things would be if Hunter was finished with him, which seemed likely. When he expressed those fears to Juanita, she shook her head and said, “Mr. Hunter is not tired of you. You’re tired of yourself. It’s time for you to make a life of your own. Not without him. But something that is yours, apart from him.”
All of that was weighing on Derek when he began his new job at Drayden’s, but he was determined to make the best of things. Not only would he be earning his own money, but he hoped to make friends. Vienna had seemed to fulfill that hope. She was funny and nice, and she’d immediately introduced him to Davii. Derek was a little intimidated by Davii’s bold attitude and good looks, but he yearned to have another gay friend like the