signs, I couldn’t bring myself to do the sensible thing and get up and leave. I settled back in the booth and leaned forward, mirroring his posture.
“Okay. I’m thirty-five. My parents have both been dead for years, and I was an only child, so I’m all alone in this hard, cruel world. Still, I’ve survived. I’ve written two books that almost nobody has read. I thought I found the love of my life a few years ago, but he dumped me in September. So now I’m back on the market, and I’m not real happy about it. Is that enough for you?”
“Sorry to hear about your parents,” he said softly. “I lost my mother ten years ago, so I know what it’s like.”
“Yeah, well…” I shrugged. “It happens to everyone eventually. That’s why we have to make the most out of the time we have, right?”
“Right.”
“So, what about you?”
“Not much to tell. I’m twenty-nine years old and I dread turning thirty. Every penny I’ve ever earned is invested in the bar.”
“And you’re engaged.”
“Yeah. And I’m engaged. But can we talk about something else? What about the book you wrote?”
“Two books, actually. Have you heard of The Brewster Mall?”
He shook his head.
“Well, in that case, I’m sure you haven’t heard of Allentown Blues. That was my obligatory gay coming-of-age novel, but apparently nobody gives a damn about gay people coming of age in Allentown, Pennsylvania.”
“Cool,” said Frank, surprisingly excited to learn about my novels. “Is Allentown where you’re from?”
“I barely remember anymore. It was a long, long time ago.”
“So, what’s the deal with this guy who dumped you?” he asked. “He was gay, right?”
I laughed. “I make it my policy to only date other gay men. Life is complicated enough.”
That, at least, got a smile out of him.
“His name was—is—Ted. He’s an accountant. And let’s just say our personalities were apparently too far apart for us to be able to compensate for it with great sex. I like to look at things and let my imagination run wild, and he likes to look at things and see the bottom line.” I paused and sipped my coffee. “It could have been partly my fault, I suppose. Maybe I didn’t add up for him when he got to the bottom line. Although I’ll be damned if I know what kind of bottom line he sees in—”
I stopped myself, unable to miss the bitter edge creeping into my voice, but not soon enough. Frank looked at me expectantly. When it was clear I wasn’t going to finish the sentence without prompting, he asked, “Sees in what?”
I tried to shake away the bitterness. “Let’s just say he didn’t leave me for another accountant, okay?”
“He left you for someone else?”
“Yeah,” I confessed, letting the bitterness spew forth. “A twenty-three-year-old bleached bimbo.” I sighed. “Maybe Ted was going through a midlife crisis.”
Frank’s hand reached across the table and cautiously patted my arm. “I’m sorry.”
“Me, too.”
At that point, neither of us felt like talking anymore. We split the check and once again shared a cab to our respective apartments, but, exhausted from our emotional tour de force, we barely spoke.
When we stopped at his apartment, he said, “I hope you don’t mind, but I think I’m gonna pass on a good-night kiss tonight.”
I smiled for his benefit, but the minute the cab pulled away from the curb, it left my face.
When I called her at four in the morning, Denise wasn’t very happy with me.
“Why are you calling me in the middle of the night?” she asked.
“Can’t we just think of this as very early in the morning?”
“Andrew…”
“Sorry,” I said contritely. “But I can’t sleep.”
“I can,” was her terse reply. When I didn’t respond, she resigned. “Okay, what’s wrong?”
I didn’t want to tell her, because I knew that I was asking for a lecture. But I’d dialed the phone and let it ring and gone this far, so…
“I went to see Frank tonight.”
“Who?” she started to ask with a yawn, until the fog lifted and she snapped awake, screaming, “Oh, God, Drew! You didn’t! Please, tell me you didn’t!”
“I did. He called me, and I went down to Benedick’s to meet him.”
“With your dress on?”
“No. I’m back to living life as a man. And anyway, after we got reintroduced, we talked.”
“Oh, Drew…”
“I know…” I mumbled apologetically, then added, “He’s confused.”
“He’s confused?! Hell, I’m confused! What the hell were you—? Of course he’s confused! Is this some kind of late-breaking bulletin to you? There’s something wrong with him, and there’s something even more wrong with you if you—Oh, God! You didn’t sleep with him, did you?”
“No. My perfect record of not having sex with heterosexuals is unbroken.”
“Thank God for small favors.”
“We just talked. I think he’s doubting his sexuality.”
“Drew…”
“I don’t know what the deal is, but he’s supposed to marry this woman he says he doesn’t love.”
“Drew…”
“I don’t know what to do…”
“Drew…”
“I mean, I should at least help him get out of this engagement, right?”
“Drew…”
“It’s not like he loves her.”
“Drew…”
“And I don’t even care if he stays straight. I’m sure that we can just be friends.”
“Drew…”
“I mean, I’d expect a friend to stop me from marrying someone I didn’t love.”
“Drew…”
“How can I stand back and let him ruin his life? What kind of friend would I be?”
“Andrew!!!”
Denise’s scream finally caught my attention.
“Are you listening to yourself?” she asked harshly. “Have you heard a word that you’re saying? I’m your friend, Andrew, and I’m telling you to stay away from him! He’s not your friend, and you don’t have to save his life.”
“But—”
“He’s just another screwed-up person in New York City. One of about seven million.” Her tone softened. “Listen, Drew, you’re just a little bit vulnerable right now. But trust me: In a few months, you’ll be amazed that you ever thought about getting involved in this guy’s life. Put this behind you.”
“But—”
“He’s not your type, Drew. Maybe he liked you when he thought you were a woman, but you’re not a woman. So, get some sleep and stop thinking about this guy. Let him solve his own problems.”
I hated her logic. It always made