Bernardine Evaristo

Girl, Woman, Other


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the space of a week

      she’d become their sole source of happiness as they moved to assert their authority over her autonomy, by any means necessary

      sulks, tears, accusations of selfishness and heartlessness

      Amma learnt to head all women off, to state her intentions upfront, to never sleep with the same person twice, or pushing it, thrice

      even when she wanted to

      sex was a simple, harmless, human pleasure and until her late thirties she got a lot of it

      how many were there? one hundred, another fifty? surely not more than that?

      a couple of friends suggested she try therapy to help her settle down, she replied she was practically a virgin compared to male rock stars who boasted conquests of thousands and were admired for it

      did anyone tell them to go and get psychoanalysed?

      unfortunately one or two of her earlier conquests have been harassing her on social media of late where the past is just waiting to smack you in the face

      like the woman who posted that Amma had been her first when they slept together thirty-five years ago and had been so trashed she vomited all over her

      it was so traumatic I never got over it, she wailed

      or the woman who chased her up Regent Street shouting at her for not returning her calls from around the same time

      who do you think you are, you pretentious show-off theatre luvvie? you’re nothing, that’s what you are, nothing

      you must be off your meds, love, Amma shouted back, before escaping into the subterranean warren of Topshop

      Amma long ago lost interest in bed-hopping; over time she began to crave the intimacy that comes from being emotionally, although not exclusively, close to another person

      non-monogamous relationships are her thing, or is it called polyamory now? as Yazz describes it, which as far as she can tell is non-monogamy in all but name, child

      there’s Dolores, a graphic designer based in Brighton, and Jackie, an occupational therapist in Highgate

      they’ve been in the picture seven and three years respectively and are both independent women who have full lives (and children) outside of their relationship with her

      they’re not clingy or needy or jealous or possessive, and they actually like each other so yes, sometimes they indulge in a little ménage à trois

      upon occasion

      (Yazz would be horrified if she knew this)

      the middle-aged Amma sometimes feels nostalgic for her younger days, remembers the only time she and Dominique went on a pilgrimage to the legendary Gateways

      hidden down a Chelsea basement in the last years of its fifty-year existence

      it was almost empty, two middle-aged women stood at the bar wearing men’s haircuts and suits and looking as if they’d walked straight out of the pages of The Well of Loneliness

      the dance floor was dimly lit, and two very old and very small women, one in a black suit, the other in a forties-style dress, danced cheek-to-cheek to Dusty Springfield singing ‘The Look of Love’

      and there wasn’t even a glittery disco ball spinning from the middle of the ceiling, sprinkling stardust on to them.

      3

      Amma throws her coffee in a bin and walks directly towards the theatre, past the concrete skateboarding area emblazoned with graffiti

      it’s way too early for the youngsters to begin their death-defying leaps and twists without helmets or protective knee pads

      the young, who are so fearless

      like Yazz, who goes out cycling without a helmet

      who storms off when her mother tells her that wearing a helmet might be the difference between

      a/ getting a headache

      b/ learning to talk again

      she enters the stage door, greets the security guard, Bob, who wishes her well for tonight, makes her way through the corridors and up the stairs and eventually on to the cavernous stage

      she looks out at the empty, auditory wilderness of the fan-shaped auditorium, modelled on the Greek amphitheatres that ensured everyone in the audience had an uninterrupted view of the action

      over a thousand people will fill the seats this very evening

      so many people gathered to see her production is quite unbelievable

      the entire run almost sold out before a single review has been filed

      how’s that for demand for something quite different?

      The Last Amazon of Dahomey, written and directed by Amma Bonsu

      where in the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries women warriors served the king

      women who lived in the king’s compound and were supplied with food and female slaves

      who left the palace preceded by a slave girl ringing a bell warning men to look away or be killed

      who became the palace guard because men couldn’t be trusted not to chop off the king’s head or castrate him with a cutlass while he slept

      who were trained to climb naked over thorny acacia branches to toughen up

      who were sent into the hazardous forest for nine days to survive on their own

      who were crack shots with muskets and could behead and disembowel their enemies with ease

      who fought the Yoruba next door and the French who came to colonize

      who grew to an army of six thousand, all formally married to the king

      who were not otherwise permitted sexual relations and any male child born to them was killed off

      on first hearing about this Amma decided they must have been at it among themselves because wasn’t that the case when the sexes are segregated?

      and the idea of her play was born

      the last Amazon is Nawi, who enters the stage as a vulnerable teenage bride presented to the king; unable to bear his child, she’s cast out of his bedchamber and forced to join his female combat troops where she survives the hazardous induction and rises up the ranks through her powerful physicality and cunning battle strategies to become a legendary Amazon general who shocked foreign observers with her fearless ferocity

      Amma shows Nawi’s loyalty to her many women lovers long after she tires of them, making sure the king assigns them lightweight domestic duties rather than kick them out of the compound to a life of destitution

      at the end of the play, old and alone, Nawi reconnects with her past lovers, who fade in and out as spectres, courtesy of holograms

      she relives the wars where she made her name, including the ones the king instigated to provide captors for the abolished slave trade in the Americas, with outlaw slave ships outrunning the blockades in order to do business with him

      she’s proud of her achievements

      video projections show her battles in action, thunderous armies of charging Amazons brandishing muskets and machetes

      hollering and swelling towards the audience

      spine-chilling, terrifying

      in the end

      there is Nawi’s death

      lights slowly fading

      to blackout

      Amma wishes Dominique could have flown