over again that night. He never once defended Carolyn or told his daughter that she needed help. It was something Carolyn filed in her mental Rolodex. The hurt she felt was almost tangible.
All of that was in the past, Carolyn told herself now. Just like all the other hurts she’d suffered at the hands of her children and her husband, Carolyn had swallowed this hurt like it was a hard marble. Seeing Donna now—her cheeks rosy, her body filled out in all the right places, her hair shiny—made Carolyn warm inside. Donna had taken the best of Carolyn’s and Ernest’s features. She stood almost six feet tall and was built like a runway model. She had long, slender legs, a small waist, and small breasts. Donna had exquisite thick jet-black hair and Ernest’s hazel eyes—the only one of their children to inherit them. She had also inherited Carolyn’s high cheekbones and perfect nose, and with Ernest’s prominent chin, her face was striking. From the time she was a small child, Donna had turned heads everywhere she went. She was more of a showstopper than both of her parents, to say the least.
Carolyn finally relinquished her grasp on Donna and gave her a good once-over. Carolyn smiled wide; she thought her daughter looked perfect. Donna was dressed conservatively in a maroon Donna Karan sheath dress that Rebecca had picked out, a pair of kitten-heeled Jimmy Choos, and a simple cardigan to top off her look. Donna finally looked like a wealthy young woman should. Carolyn was satisfied, but she still couldn’t say she was so proud to say that Donna was her daughter. It had always been a struggle to be a mother to Donna. Carolyn squeezed Donna and grabbed for Donna’s hand, hoping to get a return show of affection. But Donna impolitely let her arms hang limply at her sides. Carolyn knew right away that her daughter was in rare form . . . as usual. It was the norm for Donna to treat Carolyn like she had no regard for her at all. Still, Carolyn reached out again and took her daughter’s hand.
“How’s Daddy? Is he really too sick to come?” Donna asked petulantly.
Carolyn released her daughter’s hand quickly. She looked at Donna seriously. She wanted to scream in Donna’s face and say, “I am here for you! Isn’t that enough! Isn’t anything I do ever enough!” But Carolyn kept her thoughts to herself, and she kept smiling and kept doing what she did best—pretending.
“Oh, Donna, darling, this is your day. Don’t worry about him. You look so good, so healthy now,” Carolyn replied sympathetically. She cracked a phony smile and hugged her daughter again, hoping they could move off the subject of Ernest. “You are simply stunning. I can’t say that enough,” she added, flashing her plastic smile again. Nothing seemed to faze Donna.
“I guess you would say I look good now since you haven’t seen me in nine months. All you have to compare it to is the way I looked when you forced me into this hellhole,” Donna replied sharply as she squirmed out of her mother’s stifling embrace.
Carolyn felt like someone had slapped her across the face. She inhaled. It was taking all she had to keep it together now. Carolyn ignored the comment. She already felt awful enough about not visiting, but she’d figured that Donna needed time away without the influence of her parents. She also thought her spoiled child would understand about Ernest being sick.
Carolyn had also been afraid that if she visited, Donna would ask her questions about her father’s condition, which had steadily deteriorated over the months. Carolyn had always tried to shelter her children from anything negative about their father: sickness, his cheating, his bad business deals . . . everything. But Carolyn’s sugarcoating of Ernest’s indiscretions had only made her kids see her as the bad guy and Ernest as the hero in their lives. The past nine months had been no different. Ernest had been ailing, and Carolyn had covered it up. Pretending, faking like her life was still picture perfect, had become like a full-time job for Carolyn. But she had reached a point where she could hide Ernest’s illness any longer.
“So, are you ready to go home? You must be excited to get back to life. There are so many good things waiting for you. Whatever you want, you can have,” Carolyn singsonged, changing the subject while fidgeting with her newly purchased monstrous twelve-carat canary diamond ring. It was one of many things she’d purchased recently. Another thing she did when she was unhappy was making big purchases.
“Yeah, going home. I can hardly wait to get back to that life. I’ll see you after the ceremony,” Donna droned gruffly before stomping away from her mother.
Carolyn looked around to see if anyone had noticed the strained interaction between them. She smiled weakly at a couple that had been watching. Carolyn’s cheeks flamed when she noticed them. She wondered how much of the conversation they had overheard.
“Our children. We have to love them,” Carolyn chortled before averting her eyes away from the gawking pair. She turned her face away and dabbed at the tears threatening to drop from her eyes. Even her baby girl hated her. Carolyn couldn’t win for trying. Nothing ever seemed good enough.
* * *
Carolyn and Donna’s ride from the rehabilitation center was tense and silent. Donna brooded the entire ride, and Carolyn tried to please her, as usual. It was as if a joyous occasion had not just happened. The pomp and circumstance of Donna’s rehab graduation had faded quicker than an eclipse of the sun. In an effort to break the silence, Carolyn tried to make small talk about the weather, Donna’s clothes, her new cell phone. When that didn’t work, Carolyn told Donna how proud she was of her accomplishments—getting clean and sober in nine months, winning an award for her artwork in rehab, and finally getting her GED. Carolyn told Donna that she imagined it hadn’t been easy.
Donna ignored her mother, for the most part, though she dropped a vicious insult in response here and there. It wasn’t lost on either of them how many times Carolyn’s cell phone buzzed and interrupted their tense exchange. After the third time, Donna even raised an eyebrow at her mother and said, “Why don’t you stop pretending to be interested in speaking to me and just answer your phone? I already heard that your favorite was coming home. I’m sure you can’t wait. I’m sure you have lots of things planned for the two of you.”
Carolyn’s cheeks flamed at her daughter’s comment. “No one of you is more important than the others. I have three children, not just one,” Carolyn replied. It didn’t make a difference. She was clearly not going to convince Donna. “Why don’t you tell me something new about you?” she added.
Donna rolled her eyes and kept her pursed lips shut tight.
“Okay, then, do you want me to tell you what’s been going on with me?” Carolyn asked.
Again, Donna rolled her eyes and gave her mother the silent treatment. The stalemate went on for several minutes. Finally, too exasperated to continue practically begging her daughter to talk to her, Carolyn gave up. Donna rudely put her earphones in and turned the volume up so loud, Carolyn could hear every curse word in the lyrics of the rap music her daughter listened to. Donna also took to texting incessantly on her new cell phone, one of the luxuries she had missed while locked up in that place.
Defeated, Carolyn resorted to watching the passing scenery outside the Bentley’s darkly tinted windows. She secretly wished she were someplace else. She could think of a million things she would rather be doing than taking her daughter’s abuse. Carolyn’s mind drifted to things she found pleasurable.
When the car went up the winding road leading to the house, Donna yanked her earphones out of her ears and bolted upright in her seat.
“I’m not going to the summer house. I’m going to Chicago, to the Gold Coast condo,” she announced brusquely.
Carolyn’s eyebrows shot up, and her pulse sped up. Donna had been practically living alone at their Gold Coast condo when she disappeared and ultimately got herself in trouble. Carolyn didn’t think it was a good idea for her to go back to that environment so soon. Carolyn wanted Rebecca to keep an eye on Donna.
“Donna, please,” Carolyn said as calmly as she could, given the circumstances. “Your father is asking for everyone to be here. Everyone. He missed you so much. He is looking forward to seeing you. And I want to catch up. You can go to the condo another day.” As Carolyn tried to reason with Donna, she touched her daughter’s