see her then but had a lot of work to do for his exams.
It seems ages since I saw you, Shirley. I miss talking to you and letters aren’t quite the same, are they? Still, I’ve got an idea for the long summer holiday – if you can get your father to agree. I’ve been planning it for a while, but I’ll tell you at Christmas…
Shirley felt a bit let down. She’d thought they would have at least two weeks together at Christmas and she’d lined up several trips to museums and also some good films she’d thought Richard would like. It was too cold to wander the streets at this time of the year and sitting in cafés wasn’t her idea of fun, though it was one way to keep warm and be together.
They couldn’t go to Richard’s home often; his mother didn’t like Shirley much, because, for some reason, she’d blamed her when Richard’s sister died of chicken pox. Mrs Kent thought her little girl had caught it from him being in contact with Robin – and she hated it that her son had chosen to be a doctor and not go to work straight out of school. However, Richard’s father had encouraged him and provided him with some of the money he needed, though he was working part-time in a bar to fund his life at medical school. Unlike Mrs Kent, Shirley’s mother would have let them have the front room to sit and talk by a fire, but her father had a habit of walking in on them and asking a lot of questions. So, they visited art galleries and museums and went to the pictures, where they could sit and hold hands in the warm.
Shirley smiled as she finished her latest letter. Richard was full of what he was doing, of the friends he’d made and of the way some of them got drunk at night and played lots of pranks on each other. Shirley thought his life sounded like fun, even though he always ended his letter by saying how much he wished she was there with him at his school and hoping she would pass her exams and go to the same place, though by the time she got there he would probably be close to taking his finals and moving on.
A sigh left her because when she arrived at the school, Richard would probably be working full-time as a junior doctor in a hospital and there was no telling where that would be. He might have to go anywhere to get a post – perhaps back to London, while she was in Eastbourne. It was a pity he was nearly four years older. If she’d been that bit closer in age, they could have done their training together… Although Richard had always behaved as if she were nearer his age, looking out for her when she was in senior school until he’d left for college.
Shirley was thoughtful. Their relationship was based on friendship and caring. Shirley had comforted him when his mother blamed him for bringing home the disease that killed his sister, the same illness she’d lost her darling brother Robin to. Shirley had believed she was responsible for Robin’s death until Richard told her about his own loss. Her beloved gran had tried to tell her it wasn’t her fault and that Robin had caught the disease from one of the neighbour’s children, but Shirley had seen her mother’s grief and blamed herself. They’d all been helpless to save their families and that was one of the reasons why Shirley wanted so badly to become a doctor – so that perhaps she could save children and stop their loved ones feeling the way she and Mum had…
Shirley remembered that time as filled with grief – first Robin and then, a few months later, Gran. She hated people dying and longed to make them well again. Being a doctor was important to her and Richard understood that – he knew they couldn’t be more than friends until they’d both passed their exams and she sometimes wondered if that was asking too much of him. He was, after all, that bit older and must meet lots of pretty girls at medical school and in the bar where he worked some nights.
Richard had mentioned a girl named Katie. She also worked in the bar, serving drinks. Her boyfriend was in the Army and, according to Richard, his new friend was hoping to become engaged at Christmas.
Katie says Ricky asked her before he left for Cyprus. She’s hoping he’ll be home for Christmas and give her a ring – and then she’ll be off to the sun and a new life with him. It sounds wonderful doesn’t it… maybe I should’ve been in the Army…
Now what did that mean? Shirley wondered. Was he thinking that if he was in the Army and able to offer married quarters in Cyprus, Katie might have been interested in him? Was he interested in her as more than a friend?
Shirley felt a shard of jealousy pierce her like a piece of broken glass. She’d never given a thought to Richard’s girlfriends before, if he’d had any, she’d never asked him, and was content to just be friends – but now she couldn’t help feeling jealous and a bit angry too. Richard was hers – wasn’t he?
It was only friendship for now, because she was not quite seventeen and too young to be courting, but they were so close in thought and laughter and the unspoken understanding between them was that one day it would be more… she’d always anticipated that and she believed he had too.
3
Leaving the doctor’s surgery, Rose Barton bent to pick up her toddler. Just under two years old, Jackie was tiny compared to his elder sister, but despite his size he looked like his father and grandfather. Tom and Jack Barton were alike in many ways – honest, hardworking, direct men who lived by the rules and didn’t fear calling a spade a spade. Tom didn’t often see Jack these days as his father lived abroad much of the time and only visited, mostly around Christmas or in the summer, with the woman he’d met and married at the end of the war. Jack seemed satisfied with his life as a regular in the Army, because it was a better job than he’d found in civilian life and took him and his wife abroad. Tom was fond of him and always pleased when he came back to the lane for a while; Rose loved him too, because he’d been kind to her when she needed help after Jimmy died. She’d been carrying Jimmy’s baby and feeling lost and lonely, but Jack, Peggy and Maureen had all stood by her, seeing her through the period of her life when she hadn’t cared what happened to her.
Jackie had messed himself again and Rose’s nose wrinkled. He had what Tom called the runs at the moment and it meant Rose was forever washing his clothes. For some reason, Jackie had a bit of a weak tummy, where her elder child was as tough as they come. Her daughter was Jimmy’s child, of course. Tom didn’t make any difference between the children, but Rose couldn’t bring herself to love her daughter Jenny as much as she ought. That was strange, because she’d loved Jimmy very much, but, in a roundabout way, she blamed Jenny for Jimmy letting her down, though it could never have been her fault. Rose tried not to discriminate between the two but couldn’t help herself. Nor could she help being angry with Jimmy, even though he’d died a hero and been awarded a medal posthumously. If he’d truly cared for her, he would never have volunteered for that suicide mission…
Sighing, Rose made an effort to banish the memory to the tiny corner of her subconscious where it usually dwelled. She shouldn’t let herself think about what might have been. Tom was a wonderful husband and she loved him – really, she did. Yet, at the back of her mind, Rose knew there was a tiny niggle of doubt. Had she not just given birth to her daughter when Tom returned from the Army and asked her to wed him might she have refused? He’d made the idea sound so attractive and she’d always liked Tom. Sometimes, when they made love, she knew that he was kinder and more generous in every way than Jimmy had ever been, but then, when she was least expecting it, the doubts crept back in.
What would her life have been like had Jimmy returned a hero? What if she hadn’t got pregnant just before he was killed and she’d been free to just walk away and make a new life? Had she settled for marriage with Tom simply because he was there, loved her and wanted to look after both her and the child?
Rose wasn’t sure and she hated herself for her doubts. Tom worked all hours to make a good living and he was undoubtedly a good provider. There were times when she was sure she loved him and had done the right thing, and others when she wished Jimmy would come striding down the lane to claim her.
It was so ridiculous to long for something that could never happen! Too many years had passed for the news of his death to have been a mistake. It had happened during that terrible war and some men had returned long after they were reported dead, but Jimmy was never going to be one of them. Besides, Rose knew she was lucky