I don’t know, who cares? Well obviously someone cares, and maybe I will care again one day, but at the moment all my caringness is used up on myself.
RE
10:00 a.m.
Despite my tragedy I did cheer up a bit in RE. Honestly. Miss Wilson lives in the land of the very mad. Where does she get her stockings from? It can’t be a normal shop. It must be a circus shop. They are all thick and wrinkly like an elephant has been wearing them. Perhaps they are Slim’s cast-offs?
Rosie sent me a note: Dear Gee, Ask miss Wilson if God has a penis.
Even in my tragedy it made me laugh and Miss Wilson said, “Georgia, what is funny? Perhaps you could share the joke with us all.”
“Er…well, I was just wondering if God had…”
Rosie looked at me in amazement.
Miss Wilson was encouraging me in my religious curiosity. “You were wondering if God had…?”
“Yes, if God had a…beardy thing?”
Miss Wilson unfortunately did not realise how very funny I was being. She went on and on about the fact that he wasn’t really a bloke with a beard in the sky but more of a spiritual entity. She didn’t need to tell me that there is no big bloke in the sky. I know that. I’ve tried often enough to speak to him and get stuff. Hopeless. That is why if she had bothered to ask me I would have told her that I have become a zen Buddhist.
1:15 p.m.
What is it with Elvis? Jas and me were innocently moaning by the back of the science block and he comes along. Ears flapping in the wind. Raving on and on.
“What are you two up to?”
I said, “Nothing.”
“Don’t give me nothing. I know you two. You’ve probably been messing about in my hut.”
What is the matter with him? And why does he always wear a flat hat? I wonder if his head is flat underneath it? Probably. As we walked away I said to Jas, “He’s obsessed with us going in his hut. He’s ALWAYS saying we go in his hut. He goes on and on about it, like a budgie. Why does he go on and on about it?”
Jas was walking along. I said, “Why? On and on and on about us going in his poxy hut. Why us? Why keep accusing us of going in his hut? Why?”
Jas said, “Because we go in his hut.”
“So?”
5:00 p.m.
Jas’s room at her house. Jas has just popped down to the kitchen to make me some nutritious snack (Pop-Tarts) to cheer me up. I’m just not interested in anything, though.
5:03 p.m.
God her room is tidy. It’s pathetically tidy. All her cuddly toys are neatly lined up in size order on her bed. I’m going to mix them up for a hilarious laugh. Ho hum, pig’s bum. She’s even got a box with “letters” written on it. I wonder if she’s got a drawer that says “enormous pants” on it. There are some letters in the box. Probably private ones. It says PRIVATE on the top of them. Probably private, then. Probably letters that Tom has written to Jas. Very personal and private, I’d better put them away.
5:16 p.m.
She calls him HUNKY!!!! This is hilariously crap!! Absolutemento pathetico!!! HUNKY!!! Tom!!! Hahahahahaha.
5:18 p.m.
He calls her Po!!! Like in the Teletubbies. Good grief, that is sad.
5:19 p.m.
Po, for heaven’s sake.
5:20 p.m.
My lips are sealed vis-a-vis Hunky and Po.
5:21 p.m.
Even though it is very very funny I must never mention Hunky or Po.
5:23 p.m.
Jas comes back in. I say, “How is Hunky?”
My bedroom
7:00 p.m.
Jas is not speaking to me because I happened to find some personal letters of hers…She’s so touchy.”
10:30 p.m.
And unreasonable.
Thursday September 16th
8:20 a.m.
On the way to school. When I got to our usual meeting place Jas had already set off, walking really fast ahead of me. I yelled, “Hang on a minute, Po!!” But she ignored me.
Honestly, people really take themselves seriously when they have got a so-called boyfriend.
In a sort of a way it was very funny walking behind Jas. She walked really fast for about five minutes but she is not in tiptop physical condition. In fact, the only exercise she gets is lifting Pop-Tarts and putting them in her mouth. Anyway, she got tired and had to slow down so then I could catch her up. I walked about half a metre behind her: it was annoying her quite a lot but she couldn’t say anything as she is not speaking to me.
By the time I got to the school gates I was walking about ten centimetres behind her. Her beret was practically sticking up my nose.
She tried to escape me in assembly by standing next to Rosie but I squeezed in between them and looked at her with my face really near hers. She was all red and furious. Even her ears were red. Tee hee.
11:00 a.m.
Followed Jas into the loos. I went into the next cubicle to her and talked to her through the walls.
“Jas, I love you.”
“What are you doing? You’re being stupid!”
“No. YOU’RE being stupid, Po.”
“It was really mean of you to read my private letters.”
“They were only from Hunky.”
“You shouldn’t read people’s private things.”
“How would I know anything if I didn’t?”
There was a bit of a silence from the other side of the wall. Then she said, “What do you mean?”
I went on reasonably, “I wouldn’t even know you were called Po if I hadn’t read the letters.”
She was on the edge of bamboozlement. “Yeah, but that’s not the point…I…”
“You shouldn’t have secrets from your very best pal.”
“YOU have secrets.”
“I don’t– I even told you about my sticky-out nipples.”
“Well, Tom says they stuck out because it was cold.”
I couldn’t believe it. The bell went for the end of break and I heard Jas flush the loo and go out. I rushed out of my loo and set off down the corridor, following her. “You told Tom…about my sticky-out nipples???”
I couldn’t believe it. My nipples had been made a public mockery of a sham…I was so incensed I barely noticed Wet Lindsay talking to some unlucky fourth former. Although I did notice that she looked like an owl in a school