to lower a rope down to you and then pull you out,” he said in a soothing tone, before moving back from the edge of the pool only to be replaced by Josh, who grinned impishly at me.
“Good to see you, Al. Enjoying the sun tanning?”
I smiled a wobbly smile back, too tired and scared to answer him.
Josh directed Luke until he was directly above me, and a few moments later a rope tumbled over the ledge. It hung about two metres from the rock I was sitting on directly over the deep-blue water.
“Alex, we need you to get into the water and then tie your pack to the rope.” Josh’s voice echoed as I watched him scamper around the edge of the pool to where Luke must have been.
The thought of going back into the water that had almost claimed me sent panic racing through my veins. My breathing, coming in short shallow gasps, echoed off the rock walls and seemed to get louder and louder.
“Alex, what’s wrong?” Luke’s voice floated down to me. He sounded worried.
“N-n-nothing.” My teeth chattered together, betraying me.
Just take a deep breath, I told myself, you can do this.
“You can do this, Alex.” Luke echoed my thoughts. “Just stay calm.”
I slipped into the frigid water, hauling the already sodden pack off the rock. It was like being attached to a rock as it almost immediately pulled me under, it was so heavy. I kicked as hard as I could but within a few seconds realised I didn’t have the strength to keep us both at the surface.
My head had just dipped below the water, panic closing my throat, when the pack seemed to grow suddenly lighter and my thrashing legs managed to push me back. I peered down through the rippling water, trying to work out how it was possible that I was at the surface, and moving, almost without trying, toward the dangling rope. A shadow that I was too afraid to explore extended from beneath my pack.
In a daze I swam to the rope and somehow looped the end of it into the handle.
The effort left me drained and it took all of my energy to simply float on my back as the boys hauled the pack up.
As soon as my ears dipped below the surface of the water, the whispered talking I’d heard at the previous pool swirled around me. The voices were slightly louder this time and seemed angry. I quickly flipped vertical again, treading water as I waited for the rope to reappear.
When it did, I struggled to push my cold stupid limbs to do as I commanded, shoving them into the makeshift harness the boys had created. After what felt like an age, I was ready. “OK,” I yelled.
I could hear Luke and Josh straining as they pulled my dead, water-sodden weight up and out of the pool. I grabbed at the rock ledge as it came into reach and hauled myself over the edge, scraping the skin off my elbows and bruising my hips and knees as I scrambled out.
I rolled away from the edge and lay panting on my back, the hot afternoon sun a welcome relief from the shadowed icy water.
Luke helped me up, pulling me into a bear hug that took my breath away. After a few moments, he gently pushed me away from him and held me at arm’s length, dipping his head to look directly into my eyes.
“Don’t ever do that to me again, Alex!”
I nodded and gave him a wobbly smile, my mind still trying to unscramble the mysterious events that resulted in me still being alive.
Josh draped his arm around my shoulders as we walked to the cave we’d be staying in that night, keeping up a falsely cheerful conversation that soothed my shattered nerves, and a tight hold on me that bore most of my body weight.
The boys treated me like I was made of china for the rest of the day, insisting that I get into some borrowed dry clothes as soon as we reached the overhang which was to be our shelter for the evening. Josh quickly built a fire while Luke went hunting for our dinner.
I watched in awe as the sun, which had almost set, bathed the view from the cave in blood-red light edged in shadows.
Directly beneath me and above me, the rock face ran in an unrelenting gash across the middle of this comparatively small mountain, curving away from me into a valley dark with trees. I could hear the chuckle of a stream somewhere below where I was standing and could make out the grassy plain we’d walked through earlier in the day, now a pool of violet shadow.
I turned to see what lay ahead of us, what the rest of this camping trip might hold.
Its beauty left me breathless.
We had walked deep into the Injisuthi and the mountains that were a pretty backdrop from the Van Heerdens’ farm, now soared majestically skyward, their jagged outline looming in confident grandeur above me. I felt so small and insignificant pitted against their timeless magnificence.
Josh’s sleeve brushed my arm, startling me, as he joined me in admiring the view.
“It’s beautiful isn’t it?” His voice was hushed as the night’s chorus washed over us.
I nodded. We stood in companionable silence watching the last of the light bleed into the shadows, before moving back to the crackling fire.
Our conversation spanned a vast array of subjects, from Josh’s theories about the female leader in the cave, to school. Josh politely avoided talking about my family and particularly about Brent, which I was grateful for, and instead hovered on light and happy topics.
Josh was going into his final year of school the following semester and was then planning to go on to study further in medicine.
“What about you, Al?” he asked casually. “What do you want to be?”
I hated this question, mainly because I didn’t know the answer to it.
My parents had decided that I would study further after school and were trying to persuade me that my grades in maths and science should naturally lead me to engineering or medicine or something along those lines. Just because I was good at those subjects didn’t necessarily mean I liked them, in fact, I couldn’t think of anything more terrifying than being trapped in a world constantly bombarded by routine. A world, that from my perspective, most adults I knew seemed to suffocate in.
I shrugged “no idea”.
“Oh come on,” he goaded, “you must have some clue?”
“OK,” I grinned. “I want to be a warrior princess.”
Josh laughed at me. As children we’d often played a game where Alexa the warrior princess, along with her trusty sidekick Josh, rescued the world from Luke the dragon.
“You look like you’re turning into just that,” he replied, grinning at me, seemingly pleased at the blush that crawled up my neck. “Although maybe the warrior element needs a bit of work, most warriors can hold their own against baboons,” he amended, lightening the sudden intensity of the mood.
I laughed, nodding.
“What’s so funny?” Luke asked, walking into the cave.
“Just teasing Alex about her clumsiness today,” Josh replied easily.
The rest of the evening was lovely. One of the last uncomplicated evenings I remember. The night sky, so far from any manmade light, was crowded with billions of stars, the summer air warm and gentle on our exercise-weary bodies.
The boys had decided to go back to the pool I’d fallen into the next day. As it was only a short distance from the cave, I was given the option to join them or stay at base camp.
I shuddered at the thought of going anywhere near that pool again, remembering the icy water closing over my head as my lungs fought for air and black spots danced in front of my eyes. It wasn’t just the water that made me edgy, he might be there, or was the right pronoun it?
After dinner, we climbed into our sleeping bags around the fire and chatted until the moon